Just me casually turning up the volume on National Treasure to see if I can steal the attention of my husband away from World of Warcraft.

I wish I could remember how to make magic the way I did when I was younger, when a vast stretch of pavement was the sea and a playground was a ship. When a stick was a magic wand and berries in water were potions. My liberal arts degree didn't cover this.

I've gained thirty pounds in six weeks, I'm angry about everything, but at the same time I've never felt more loved or supported by my people.

Pretty sure I've run the stages of grief ten times now and I just keep coming back to anger.

When your partner says they'll make you a quesadilla:
-nice
-heartwarming
-loved

When your partner hands you three quesadillas and says "I hope you didn't want to poop tonight"
-sinister
-foreboding
-challenge accepted

Game devs are tired. Writers are tired. Comic book creators are tired. Musicians are tired. Actors are tired. Every industry that produces media you love has been ravaged by a parasitic executive class who want to starve creators to feed some shitcunt's desire for a seventh house

Good morning, skyline. I have a new poem out for National Poetry Day!

Inspired by Friedrich's eternal "Der Wanderer über dem Nebelmeer" - it's about how I am tired of beautiful paintings and the act of walking up mountains being coopted by guys with LinkedIn Brain.

badapple.gay/2023/08/25/o...

Me yelling across the house: HEY. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DRINKING MAYONNAISE AND EGGNOG

Dude it is exhausting to fix your childhood as an adult.

When you're watching reruns of the price is right trying to cash in on secondhand dopamine, it's time to call it a night.

me to the cat: so, what do you think? we don't need to monetize our hobbies? we should anyway though, right? I mean it helps. but it'll ruin the fun. I don't know, what do you think?

cat: catipalism only

Oh. Hello.