Jess Swanson
@inspectorswanson.bsky.social
34 she/her
Nothing safe is worth the drive. ♥️
Nothing safe is worth the drive. ♥️
My day from hell arrived as promised. But the best thing keeping me going is that when things are hard I take a second to look at pictures of me in my wedding dress. Bought it on Saturday and have never felt more beautiful. I can’t wait for my actual dress to arrive in 9 months….
November 10, 2025 at 8:12 PM
My day from hell arrived as promised. But the best thing keeping me going is that when things are hard I take a second to look at pictures of me in my wedding dress. Bought it on Saturday and have never felt more beautiful. I can’t wait for my actual dress to arrive in 9 months….
I have so many good a fun things to look forward in my personal life this month. But the next 4 business days are going to suck so badly. Just one big countdown to the worst of it on Monday. Hopefully my clients get their shit together in time that this won’t be too bad. 🤞🏻
November 5, 2025 at 4:11 PM
I have so many good a fun things to look forward in my personal life this month. But the next 4 business days are going to suck so badly. Just one big countdown to the worst of it on Monday. Hopefully my clients get their shit together in time that this won’t be too bad. 🤞🏻
@3tonsoffun.bsky.social and I are doing a deep dive into the folks who are running for Board of Education before early voting today. We don’t even have kids but we need to make sure our schools are supported and we don’t vote for bigots who support book banning!
November 1, 2025 at 3:47 PM
@3tonsoffun.bsky.social and I are doing a deep dive into the folks who are running for Board of Education before early voting today. We don’t even have kids but we need to make sure our schools are supported and we don’t vote for bigots who support book banning!
Really hate that it’s raining all day and I have to go outside to be able to access a bathroom. (They’ve been renovating our building for months)
October 30, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Really hate that it’s raining all day and I have to go outside to be able to access a bathroom. (They’ve been renovating our building for months)
I am halfway through a book and I still cant decide if I’m going to DNF it. So far it’s not good. But I see the potential.
October 28, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I am halfway through a book and I still cant decide if I’m going to DNF it. So far it’s not good. But I see the potential.
We are now officially under the year mark until I get to marry my favorite person in the whole world. We got our engagement photos taken yesterday and I can’t wait to see them!
October 18, 2025 at 1:51 PM
We are now officially under the year mark until I get to marry my favorite person in the whole world. We got our engagement photos taken yesterday and I can’t wait to see them!
Am I crazy or is that a B at the foot of the jukebox? I’m clowning for something for Elizabeth Taylor.
October 4, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Am I crazy or is that a B at the foot of the jukebox? I’m clowning for something for Elizabeth Taylor.
My friend and I are going to a Showgirl release party showing tomorrow night. And I just keep on going back and forth on if I should listen to it beforehand. With working I just don’t think I could give it a first listen with as much attention it deserves before the showing.
October 2, 2025 at 2:41 PM
My friend and I are going to a Showgirl release party showing tomorrow night. And I just keep on going back and forth on if I should listen to it beforehand. With working I just don’t think I could give it a first listen with as much attention it deserves before the showing.
Fiancée and I are at MSP waiting for our flight to go back home. So many Vikings fans huddled around the bar tvs near our gate. And then you have my fiancée, a secret Steelers fan having a great time watching this first half. Hopefully Vikings pull out a win while we’re in the air. #SkolVikings
September 28, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Fiancée and I are at MSP waiting for our flight to go back home. So many Vikings fans huddled around the bar tvs near our gate. And then you have my fiancée, a secret Steelers fan having a great time watching this first half. Hopefully Vikings pull out a win while we’re in the air. #SkolVikings
Me when I’m working from home: This cat just won’t stop biting me for attention and stepping on my keyboard. Go lay down and take a nap.
Also me: Where did my little guy go? He’s not in the room pestering me and I miss him.
Also me: Where did my little guy go? He’s not in the room pestering me and I miss him.
September 24, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Me when I’m working from home: This cat just won’t stop biting me for attention and stepping on my keyboard. Go lay down and take a nap.
Also me: Where did my little guy go? He’s not in the room pestering me and I miss him.
Also me: Where did my little guy go? He’s not in the room pestering me and I miss him.
My mother, doesn’t boycott companies lightly but when she does, goes scorched earth, is still so pissed about Kimmel. A lifelong Disney fan, is not resuming her Disney+ or Hulu subscription. Now she’s researching who advertises on Sinclair news stations so she can boycott them and tell them why. ♥️
September 23, 2025 at 2:31 PM
My mother, doesn’t boycott companies lightly but when she does, goes scorched earth, is still so pissed about Kimmel. A lifelong Disney fan, is not resuming her Disney+ or Hulu subscription. Now she’s researching who advertises on Sinclair news stations so she can boycott them and tell them why. ♥️
My fiancée and I are having a board game themed wedding. So we’ve been buying old board games from estate sales. Everyone at estate sales is thrilled that two nerds want to buy up their board game stock. We’re so popular there. 😂😂
September 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
My fiancée and I are having a board game themed wedding. So we’ve been buying old board games from estate sales. Everyone at estate sales is thrilled that two nerds want to buy up their board game stock. We’re so popular there. 😂😂
I have a Swiftie friend irl for the first time ever. She just drove to an AMC to get us tickets for the release party! I’m so excited!!!! ❤️🔥
September 19, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I have a Swiftie friend irl for the first time ever. She just drove to an AMC to get us tickets for the release party! I’m so excited!!!! ❤️🔥
I have watched Big Brother since season one. I have always watched until the end. Even when the seasons were terrible I watched until finale night. This twist has me strongly considering giving up on this season. This honestly feels like a huge betrayal of trust from production to the fans. #bb27
September 6, 2025 at 2:07 PM
I have watched Big Brother since season one. I have always watched until the end. Even when the seasons were terrible I watched until finale night. This twist has me strongly considering giving up on this season. This honestly feels like a huge betrayal of trust from production to the fans. #bb27
Not me ending two meetings already today with “Stream Man’s Best Friend by Sabrina Carpenter”.
August 29, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Not me ending two meetings already today with “Stream Man’s Best Friend by Sabrina Carpenter”.
TAYLOR SWIFT AND I ARE ENGAGED AT THE SAME TIME!!!! I’m so happy for her! 😭😭😭😭 What a beautiful proposal! Travis did so well! She finally is getting what she has deserved for so long!
August 26, 2025 at 5:26 PM
TAYLOR SWIFT AND I ARE ENGAGED AT THE SAME TIME!!!! I’m so happy for her! 😭😭😭😭 What a beautiful proposal! Travis did so well! She finally is getting what she has deserved for so long!
I never shared the wedding countdown we have. And today seems like the perfect day to do so. 🤭
August 24, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I never shared the wedding countdown we have. And today seems like the perfect day to do so. 🤭
Counting down the hours until I can go home. It’s update day in Dreamlight Valley and 90 minute Big Brother tonight. Wednesdays shave become my favorite week day. Other than Friday of course.
August 20, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Counting down the hours until I can go home. It’s update day in Dreamlight Valley and 90 minute Big Brother tonight. Wednesdays shave become my favorite week day. Other than Friday of course.
Taylor Swift is with me today. No matter how many emails I respond to, I perpetually have 13 unread emails in my inbox.
August 15, 2025 at 4:39 PM
Taylor Swift is with me today. No matter how many emails I respond to, I perpetually have 13 unread emails in my inbox.
THE COVER IS BEAUTIFUL. TAYLOR IS SO GORGEOUS!!!
August 13, 2025 at 11:02 PM
THE COVER IS BEAUTIFUL. TAYLOR IS SO GORGEOUS!!!
TS12!!!!!
But I’m not waiting 40 minutes to buy the vinyl. I’m going to sleep. 😴
But I’m not waiting 40 minutes to buy the vinyl. I’m going to sleep. 😴
August 12, 2025 at 4:18 AM
TS12!!!!!
But I’m not waiting 40 minutes to buy the vinyl. I’m going to sleep. 😴
But I’m not waiting 40 minutes to buy the vinyl. I’m going to sleep. 😴
I just wanted to see what it was and then go to sleep. Of course we broke the damn website. But I can’t go to bed now!
August 12, 2025 at 4:14 AM
I just wanted to see what it was and then go to sleep. Of course we broke the damn website. But I can’t go to bed now!
How long are episodes of New Heights usually? Because I got Big Brother at 8pm on Wednesday.
August 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
How long are episodes of New Heights usually? Because I got Big Brother at 8pm on Wednesday.
My fiancée have been on a good track for wedding planning, but I’m having a hard time fully believing that I am going to be a bride! So I got myself a bridal subscription box. I’m pretty excited for all the bridal and engagement stuff that I never can justify buying when we’re out.
July 25, 2025 at 9:24 PM
My fiancée have been on a good track for wedding planning, but I’m having a hard time fully believing that I am going to be a bride! So I got myself a bridal subscription box. I’m pretty excited for all the bridal and engagement stuff that I never can justify buying when we’re out.
Me yelling at our cats at bedtime: I ask for ONE THING in this house, and that is a butthole free pillow!
July 11, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Me yelling at our cats at bedtime: I ask for ONE THING in this house, and that is a butthole free pillow!