SAME LMAO i still love kaether and a bunch of other 1.0 ships and i would be willing to write for it but yeah i also know the audience isn't there ... it is a huge struggle jnfjfnffn

but yeah tbh nothing has hit like sumeru? i wrote for neuvi and wrio but like! i just need something more sigh

i think most fans are on hsr right now but i've also seen people fly to other new games like arknights endfield and i'm like ... idk one day genshin will resurface ... today is just not that day

holds ur hand... i feel this. there was a minor resurgence with flins but yeah part of it is just like. the readers/fans have also kinda just flown... it's an interest problem that goes beyond us tbh, the company really needs to release more guys because just varka and flins aren't cutting it lmao

i don't really care about the numbers i pull mind you but it's like, hm, this has no discernable benefits but a high number of discernable negatives. idk. you just have to make a rational decision at some point

also i unlocked all my fics on ao3 lmao......... i had locked them to prevent ai trawling but like. all it really did was completely nuke audience numbers. which i find ridiculous because i'm like ??? do you really all browse ao3 logged out??? but apparently so

i also think i want to write for fe3h but i still don't have a solid idea of how i want to do it. i'm a little sad though because i want this specific flavor of dimileth that i find hard to articulate or find in another person lol but i'll find a way to articulate it somehow

i still have some metaphor fics i want to write for louwill and strohwill but we'll see... maybe this january but i really don't know. the inspiration is still there though. i have this one louwill fic basically all planned out but i told myself i wouldn't write it until i finished the ifather one

i don't regret the time i spent with it since it was really fun especially post-metaphor but it's just not fun for me right now and this also happened with arknights... i'll come back to it when i feel like it but tbh i think hoyo just has a stranglehold on me and that's fine

fic-wise... i really wanted to write for p5x but i think it's not happening - the inspiration for a fic never really struck me and also i think i have to quit the game for my own sanity. it's just too hard to juggle 3 gacha games and i need to accept that.

note: i don't even have this weekend to do this btw. i have a full day of class on sunday and a regression analysis i haven't started yet that is due tonight LMAOOOO fuck me

me: oh my god... after subtracting sleep and meals and such, i'll have 20-odd hours for me to just rest on the weekend...?? this feels so amazing...
my friends: en that's literally a normal weekend

i feel like i haven't had time to rest since september... after this weekend + the holidays i will finally have free weekends again (i've been working on weekdays and going to class on weekends) and it feels so relieving lmfao. but then all my friends have had free weekends for the whole year LMFAO

the good thing is that everything in life is going well lmao. i have a bunch of big boy shit now, like a mortgage, a raise, a career path (it's too early for me to do this now but i may eventually transition into adjuncting and teaching...???), master's degree almost finished

for anyone wondering which fandom this is, it happens in hoyo games but this has happened to me across fandoms. like most recently with persona 5, where i said i don't like iwai/joker, WHICH HONESTLY SEEMS LIKE A REASONABLE SHIP TO DISLIKE LMAO, but then also with fe3h recently and i'm so fed up

i have resolved to be even more of a bitch in 2025 so when people do this shit to me i'm just going to start blocking them even if we're close friends. fuck you.