Take care of yourself, and have a great day today.

Isla
xx

If it's just a day to focus on loving yourself? Also cool. (Go grab some chocolates in the next few days, we all know they'll be on sale)

As for me, I've got a romantic dinner with one, and at least a call with the other. I'm seeing the long distance one at the end of the month, and I can't wait.

And that's the main message I want to spread with this: know your limits. I know assexual people and aromantic people, and that's just as healthy and valid as anything else!

Today, and every other day, work out what's good for you. If today is date night with a partner, awesome!

But we talk online, we text, we call. It never feels like I'm neglecting either of them, or showing favoritism. It took a while to reach that point though, to be able to reassure them (and myself) that I could balance this. For that reason, even if I might develop a crush on someone else...I'm good.

Which hurts, it really hurts. But I know what I'm doing, and I know who I am. One of my partners is local, and I see them at least once a week. The other is somewhat long distance, a 4 hour train ride. When we do meet, we aim for week long trips, to make it truly count.

Coming out as trans to my parents was...difficult, but doable. Coming out as poly...is still a work in progress, frankly.
Even now, my parents are "understanding, but not accepting". They'll acknowledge it and be nice to myself and my partners, sure. But...they see me as unfaithful.

The phrase I always use is "the difference between polyamory and cheating is consent". Yes, I've had romantic feelings for multiple people at the same time. But, I have never, ever dated multiple people without express consent of all parties involved. And even then, it's worth checking back in.

Just saying "yes, I'm fine with you seeing someone else" is the start of a conversation, not a free pass. I've seen at least one instance of someone...taking advantage of being polyamorous, and I think that's something I'd like to shed some light on.

And I think it's worth stressing, no the two of them are not dating each other. They know each other (wouldn't go as far as friends, but definitely acquaintances), and are both more than fine with me dating them both. That wasn't always the case, of course.

One of them I've been with for a decade, and the other I've been with for five years now. While yes, one relationship is double the length of the other, to me it doesn't feel like that? Both of them are incredible people. They're caring, intelligent, and always there for me.