All I want to do is stop. Stop giving myself false hope and the idea that I can make what I want work with what my responsibilities are. I simply can’t. And it’s probably better that I give up on my dreams and just work and provide for the family I’ve created.

Every single time I try to find a way to get out in the world and try to have time to myself, my bank account swoops in and says LOLNOPE.
What I’m getting at is I’m not happy anymore. I’m tired of working. All I do is hype myself up and crash out when the plans I made in my head don’t happen. Cont.

I wanted love, I wanted a girlfriend, a lover. Something, anything to fill the void in my heart. But apparently I can’t balance the love I have for a card game with the love and essentials I need to provide for a family. I argue with my girlfriend and mom so much and it just makes things worse. Cont

Since moving from TX to NM last year, I’ve had about half a dozen different jobs where things haven’t worked out and now been being a dad for over a year now has been so stressful. It was never EVER what I wanted to do with my life but depression and loneliness led me to where I am now. Cont.

I’m also paying for the first car I’ve ever purchased month after month and continuously being late on payments. I’m also on the autistic spectrum and w/ Asperger’s syndrome and just about everywhere I’ve worked either is too shitty, doesn’t pay enough or give enough hours to manage what I do. Cont.

Just started to follow. Hope to hear some new stories soon!

And I get it, I could take the time and start the original James Patterson novel series but my attention span doesn’t have the capacity to look at tiny words without action packed pictures on every page. 🥲

Haw-yee

As far as I know there’s no Tesla man so it’s definitely a safer space than the other one