I got Ethan Hawke (same day as me), Dave Bautista, Nick Offerman, Melissa McCarthy, and Jennifer Connolly. These two lists should be the cast of the Secret Wars movie.

That much energy, affordable and clean? Let's see, we could radically improve the lives of pretty much everyone in the world, OR hear me out on this: we could just build some horrible data center the size of Nebraska to produce more of that "art". Hmm. Tough call.

I think he's just describing Facebook.

"Ah, but surely you can see in the game's title, you may fancy yourself a game master, but you are never, not ever the master of these swords."

Is this real? Am I real?

I worked at a small company once (not in the gaming industry) where the CEO told me to just make up numbers, because no one would ever care enough to try and verify them.

You had a very musical 80s!

“It was so much better when people suffered quietly.”

I’ve only once worked someplace in the last 35 years where I had a legit office. Last job I had in corporate America was the worst, tho. Just a giant open room like a loft. And my desk was near loud guys making sales calls all day.

In my new bill, they have to roll over on their backs and let you give them scritches

AKA Driftmoose

see also: the shapeless blobs of New York lampposts

you can also get experience from gold pieces.

Yeah the snarky gripes in that article seem like way easier fixes that it makes out. What GM doesn’t dramatically describe the loss of hp in combat?

yes, yes, it reads thisss, precioussss...

But that might be a me thing, I dunno. The middle ground between something like GURPS with its 1-second combat turns and that TV game by that one guy is a muddy place.