Ivy
@ivy-999.bsky.social
This is my place to scream into the void.
I can't read the situation.
She's immeasurably positive, sweet, supportive, kind, and caring with her words.
She's very affectionate. Long deep hugs, lingering touch, and closeness.
Deep conversations and the long looks into her eyes.
Is this just her with everyone, or is she into me?
She's immeasurably positive, sweet, supportive, kind, and caring with her words.
She's very affectionate. Long deep hugs, lingering touch, and closeness.
Deep conversations and the long looks into her eyes.
Is this just her with everyone, or is she into me?
December 30, 2025 at 12:41 PM
I can't read the situation.
She's immeasurably positive, sweet, supportive, kind, and caring with her words.
She's very affectionate. Long deep hugs, lingering touch, and closeness.
Deep conversations and the long looks into her eyes.
Is this just her with everyone, or is she into me?
She's immeasurably positive, sweet, supportive, kind, and caring with her words.
She's very affectionate. Long deep hugs, lingering touch, and closeness.
Deep conversations and the long looks into her eyes.
Is this just her with everyone, or is she into me?
I'm so lonely.
Lonely at the club.
Lonely out with friends.
Lonely at home.
Lonely in bed with my partner.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What is it that that I'm missing? What's the missing ingredient?
I need to sort it out. Soon.
Lonely at the club.
Lonely out with friends.
Lonely at home.
Lonely in bed with my partner.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What is it that that I'm missing? What's the missing ingredient?
I need to sort it out. Soon.
December 28, 2025 at 4:21 PM
I'm so lonely.
Lonely at the club.
Lonely out with friends.
Lonely at home.
Lonely in bed with my partner.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What is it that that I'm missing? What's the missing ingredient?
I need to sort it out. Soon.
Lonely at the club.
Lonely out with friends.
Lonely at home.
Lonely in bed with my partner.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
What is it that that I'm missing? What's the missing ingredient?
I need to sort it out. Soon.
Mixed feelings at Area51 tonight
Saw and chatted with a few girls I know. Saw hot people. Danced with friends.
I still feel very alone.
Makes me want to not come out alone anymore.
I'm afraid I'll always be alone.
Saw and chatted with a few girls I know. Saw hot people. Danced with friends.
I still feel very alone.
Makes me want to not come out alone anymore.
I'm afraid I'll always be alone.
December 28, 2025 at 8:02 AM
Mixed feelings at Area51 tonight
Saw and chatted with a few girls I know. Saw hot people. Danced with friends.
I still feel very alone.
Makes me want to not come out alone anymore.
I'm afraid I'll always be alone.
Saw and chatted with a few girls I know. Saw hot people. Danced with friends.
I still feel very alone.
Makes me want to not come out alone anymore.
I'm afraid I'll always be alone.
I met with an attorney today. He turned out to be exactly what I thought. An ancien, white, religious, Trump supporting man.
YUCK
YUCK
December 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
I met with an attorney today. He turned out to be exactly what I thought. An ancien, white, religious, Trump supporting man.
YUCK
YUCK
I knew something 42 years ago
I wanted to be a lesbian 35 years ago
My egg cracked 5 years ago
I came out publicly and started HRT 4 years ago
I've felt comfortable for 2 years
I've been confident I want FFS and BA for a year
I'm going to be 50 soon and I'm still just figuring it all out
I wanted to be a lesbian 35 years ago
My egg cracked 5 years ago
I came out publicly and started HRT 4 years ago
I've felt comfortable for 2 years
I've been confident I want FFS and BA for a year
I'm going to be 50 soon and I'm still just figuring it all out
December 24, 2025 at 6:40 AM
I knew something 42 years ago
I wanted to be a lesbian 35 years ago
My egg cracked 5 years ago
I came out publicly and started HRT 4 years ago
I've felt comfortable for 2 years
I've been confident I want FFS and BA for a year
I'm going to be 50 soon and I'm still just figuring it all out
I wanted to be a lesbian 35 years ago
My egg cracked 5 years ago
I came out publicly and started HRT 4 years ago
I've felt comfortable for 2 years
I've been confident I want FFS and BA for a year
I'm going to be 50 soon and I'm still just figuring it all out
I was looking into the eyes of a friend.
They're so beautiful. Their eyes are so deep, so intense, so hard not to stare into. They're so kind and sweet. They listen, like really listen to me.
I'm enamored with her, I'm definitely crushing.
My monogamous relationship is... in the way.
They're so beautiful. Their eyes are so deep, so intense, so hard not to stare into. They're so kind and sweet. They listen, like really listen to me.
I'm enamored with her, I'm definitely crushing.
My monogamous relationship is... in the way.
December 23, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I was looking into the eyes of a friend.
They're so beautiful. Their eyes are so deep, so intense, so hard not to stare into. They're so kind and sweet. They listen, like really listen to me.
I'm enamored with her, I'm definitely crushing.
My monogamous relationship is... in the way.
They're so beautiful. Their eyes are so deep, so intense, so hard not to stare into. They're so kind and sweet. They listen, like really listen to me.
I'm enamored with her, I'm definitely crushing.
My monogamous relationship is... in the way.
It's tough to not be a bitch when I'm told to "Have a great day!"
Like, fuck you.
I'm trying not to let the darkest thoughts win, a great day, eat my ass.
Fuck off.
Like, fuck you.
I'm trying not to let the darkest thoughts win, a great day, eat my ass.
Fuck off.
December 10, 2025 at 7:00 PM
It's tough to not be a bitch when I'm told to "Have a great day!"
Like, fuck you.
I'm trying not to let the darkest thoughts win, a great day, eat my ass.
Fuck off.
Like, fuck you.
I'm trying not to let the darkest thoughts win, a great day, eat my ass.
Fuck off.
Do I have a fundamental misunderstanding of what a friend is?
I have coworkers, acquaintances, community members, family, and a partner.
I have some people I'm friendly with, who I can chat with, share a moment, etc. but after our friendly chat we go about our separate lives.
I have coworkers, acquaintances, community members, family, and a partner.
I have some people I'm friendly with, who I can chat with, share a moment, etc. but after our friendly chat we go about our separate lives.
December 10, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Do I have a fundamental misunderstanding of what a friend is?
I have coworkers, acquaintances, community members, family, and a partner.
I have some people I'm friendly with, who I can chat with, share a moment, etc. but after our friendly chat we go about our separate lives.
I have coworkers, acquaintances, community members, family, and a partner.
I have some people I'm friendly with, who I can chat with, share a moment, etc. but after our friendly chat we go about our separate lives.
Shit. I'm feeling manic, or maybe just a lot of anxiety.
Jumble of nerves, time going so slowly, brain at 💯, zero patience, desire to make all my bad decisions.
Fuck I hope some opportunities don't come up, I probably won't say no. I know I wouldn't say no.
Anyone want a bj? No, nevermind that..
Jumble of nerves, time going so slowly, brain at 💯, zero patience, desire to make all my bad decisions.
Fuck I hope some opportunities don't come up, I probably won't say no. I know I wouldn't say no.
Anyone want a bj? No, nevermind that..
December 9, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Shit. I'm feeling manic, or maybe just a lot of anxiety.
Jumble of nerves, time going so slowly, brain at 💯, zero patience, desire to make all my bad decisions.
Fuck I hope some opportunities don't come up, I probably won't say no. I know I wouldn't say no.
Anyone want a bj? No, nevermind that..
Jumble of nerves, time going so slowly, brain at 💯, zero patience, desire to make all my bad decisions.
Fuck I hope some opportunities don't come up, I probably won't say no. I know I wouldn't say no.
Anyone want a bj? No, nevermind that..
If I point out an issue, it could get better or worse.
Trans kids at the school I work at don't have a place to use the bathroom.
It's "illegal" to use the one they align with, they dont want to use the agab room, and all the single use rooms are locked and reserved for staff.
Trans kids at the school I work at don't have a place to use the bathroom.
It's "illegal" to use the one they align with, they dont want to use the agab room, and all the single use rooms are locked and reserved for staff.
December 3, 2025 at 7:57 PM
If I point out an issue, it could get better or worse.
Trans kids at the school I work at don't have a place to use the bathroom.
It's "illegal" to use the one they align with, they dont want to use the agab room, and all the single use rooms are locked and reserved for staff.
Trans kids at the school I work at don't have a place to use the bathroom.
It's "illegal" to use the one they align with, they dont want to use the agab room, and all the single use rooms are locked and reserved for staff.
I'll model for artists anytime. So much fun.
December 1, 2025 at 5:49 PM
I'll model for artists anytime. So much fun.
My Mom thought 7am was a great time to remind me that it's my father's birth and death day.
I really didn't need that flood of memories and emotions.
I have so many issues with him, but today I want to remember that he was my Dad. He was present, he put in effort, and he showed love.
I miss him.
I really didn't need that flood of memories and emotions.
I have so many issues with him, but today I want to remember that he was my Dad. He was present, he put in effort, and he showed love.
I miss him.
November 26, 2025 at 3:10 PM
My Mom thought 7am was a great time to remind me that it's my father's birth and death day.
I really didn't need that flood of memories and emotions.
I have so many issues with him, but today I want to remember that he was my Dad. He was present, he put in effort, and he showed love.
I miss him.
I really didn't need that flood of memories and emotions.
I have so many issues with him, but today I want to remember that he was my Dad. He was present, he put in effort, and he showed love.
I miss him.
Aaaahhh.... dammit
Therapy canceled for today. I really needed it, a lot.
It was too short last time, I have lots to talk about, it's going to be another week.
I hate this. I hate that this sucks so much.
Fuck.
Therapy canceled for today. I really needed it, a lot.
It was too short last time, I have lots to talk about, it's going to be another week.
I hate this. I hate that this sucks so much.
Fuck.
November 25, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Aaaahhh.... dammit
Therapy canceled for today. I really needed it, a lot.
It was too short last time, I have lots to talk about, it's going to be another week.
I hate this. I hate that this sucks so much.
Fuck.
Therapy canceled for today. I really needed it, a lot.
It was too short last time, I have lots to talk about, it's going to be another week.
I hate this. I hate that this sucks so much.
Fuck.
To anyone who reads my posts, yes you Lia, thank you. I don't get it, but thanks.
I mean, you're reading my diary...
I repeatedly scream the same thing into the void hoping for change that isn't coming.
When you like my posts, I know at least someone is hearing me.
I mean, you're reading my diary...
I repeatedly scream the same thing into the void hoping for change that isn't coming.
When you like my posts, I know at least someone is hearing me.
November 23, 2025 at 10:30 PM
To anyone who reads my posts, yes you Lia, thank you. I don't get it, but thanks.
I mean, you're reading my diary...
I repeatedly scream the same thing into the void hoping for change that isn't coming.
When you like my posts, I know at least someone is hearing me.
I mean, you're reading my diary...
I repeatedly scream the same thing into the void hoping for change that isn't coming.
When you like my posts, I know at least someone is hearing me.
I'm so fucking lonely.
Why doesn't anyone want me around? No one calls or texts, certainly no one stops by. No one ever says hey, let's get together.
I reach out, I try to keep in contact, but it one sided. It's always one sided.
I don't want to exist like this.
I can't exist like this.
Why doesn't anyone want me around? No one calls or texts, certainly no one stops by. No one ever says hey, let's get together.
I reach out, I try to keep in contact, but it one sided. It's always one sided.
I don't want to exist like this.
I can't exist like this.
November 23, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I'm so fucking lonely.
Why doesn't anyone want me around? No one calls or texts, certainly no one stops by. No one ever says hey, let's get together.
I reach out, I try to keep in contact, but it one sided. It's always one sided.
I don't want to exist like this.
I can't exist like this.
Why doesn't anyone want me around? No one calls or texts, certainly no one stops by. No one ever says hey, let's get together.
I reach out, I try to keep in contact, but it one sided. It's always one sided.
I don't want to exist like this.
I can't exist like this.
I don't think anyone from my t girl friend group would reach out if I didn't show up anymore.
I'm only seen an accepted if I show up.
I don't think they're real friends.
No one reaches out to me.
No one reaches out to me at all.
I can't instigate everything, I need someone to want me around.
I'm only seen an accepted if I show up.
I don't think they're real friends.
No one reaches out to me.
No one reaches out to me at all.
I can't instigate everything, I need someone to want me around.
November 22, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I don't think anyone from my t girl friend group would reach out if I didn't show up anymore.
I'm only seen an accepted if I show up.
I don't think they're real friends.
No one reaches out to me.
No one reaches out to me at all.
I can't instigate everything, I need someone to want me around.
I'm only seen an accepted if I show up.
I don't think they're real friends.
No one reaches out to me.
No one reaches out to me at all.
I can't instigate everything, I need someone to want me around.
The t girl NSFW chat I'm in is amazing, so sexy, so many gorgeous people.
If it was just pics, and occasionally absolutely pornographic.❤️
But the chat itself fucks me up. So kinky, so hot, so accepting.
It causes envy to burn like drinking acid. 😢
If it was just pics, and occasionally absolutely pornographic.❤️
But the chat itself fucks me up. So kinky, so hot, so accepting.
It causes envy to burn like drinking acid. 😢
November 18, 2025 at 11:52 AM
The t girl NSFW chat I'm in is amazing, so sexy, so many gorgeous people.
If it was just pics, and occasionally absolutely pornographic.❤️
But the chat itself fucks me up. So kinky, so hot, so accepting.
It causes envy to burn like drinking acid. 😢
If it was just pics, and occasionally absolutely pornographic.❤️
But the chat itself fucks me up. So kinky, so hot, so accepting.
It causes envy to burn like drinking acid. 😢
I hang out with a group of t girls every other week. I love them.
I'm envious of them. That makes it a bit hard.
I'm also filled with social anxiety, and I struggle to hang out the whole time.
Since I leave early, i'm often left out of going to dinner or coffee afterwards.
I hate that i'm to blame
I'm envious of them. That makes it a bit hard.
I'm also filled with social anxiety, and I struggle to hang out the whole time.
Since I leave early, i'm often left out of going to dinner or coffee afterwards.
I hate that i'm to blame
November 17, 2025 at 1:19 PM
I hang out with a group of t girls every other week. I love them.
I'm envious of them. That makes it a bit hard.
I'm also filled with social anxiety, and I struggle to hang out the whole time.
Since I leave early, i'm often left out of going to dinner or coffee afterwards.
I hate that i'm to blame
I'm envious of them. That makes it a bit hard.
I'm also filled with social anxiety, and I struggle to hang out the whole time.
Since I leave early, i'm often left out of going to dinner or coffee afterwards.
I hate that i'm to blame
I'm so fucking tired of being envious.
I'm touch starved
I need to be wanted
I want intimate physical interactions
I want emotional affection
I need my partner to accept my needs to explore and experience and date and learn to love myself
She doesn't, and she doesn't want to fulfill those needs
I'm touch starved
I need to be wanted
I want intimate physical interactions
I want emotional affection
I need my partner to accept my needs to explore and experience and date and learn to love myself
She doesn't, and she doesn't want to fulfill those needs
November 16, 2025 at 10:24 AM
I'm so fucking tired of being envious.
I'm touch starved
I need to be wanted
I want intimate physical interactions
I want emotional affection
I need my partner to accept my needs to explore and experience and date and learn to love myself
She doesn't, and she doesn't want to fulfill those needs
I'm touch starved
I need to be wanted
I want intimate physical interactions
I want emotional affection
I need my partner to accept my needs to explore and experience and date and learn to love myself
She doesn't, and she doesn't want to fulfill those needs
I mentioned to my partner that I might have to sell pics of my tittys and feet after I get my new boobs to help pay for them.
She gave me the expected disapproving look, but said "you are a nudist, I guess you'd be okay with that."
So, except pics of my new tittys in the future.
She gave me the expected disapproving look, but said "you are a nudist, I guess you'd be okay with that."
So, except pics of my new tittys in the future.
November 15, 2025 at 8:09 PM
I mentioned to my partner that I might have to sell pics of my tittys and feet after I get my new boobs to help pay for them.
She gave me the expected disapproving look, but said "you are a nudist, I guess you'd be okay with that."
So, except pics of my new tittys in the future.
She gave me the expected disapproving look, but said "you are a nudist, I guess you'd be okay with that."
So, except pics of my new tittys in the future.
Am I self sabotaging?
I have a bunch of things going well and I just want to blow it all up.
Ffs could happen, and i'm not sure I care.
My partner is supportive, and I have guilt about it.
I feel like I'm finally connecting with people, and I just want to isolate.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have a bunch of things going well and I just want to blow it all up.
Ffs could happen, and i'm not sure I care.
My partner is supportive, and I have guilt about it.
I feel like I'm finally connecting with people, and I just want to isolate.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
November 14, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Am I self sabotaging?
I have a bunch of things going well and I just want to blow it all up.
Ffs could happen, and i'm not sure I care.
My partner is supportive, and I have guilt about it.
I feel like I'm finally connecting with people, and I just want to isolate.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have a bunch of things going well and I just want to blow it all up.
Ffs could happen, and i'm not sure I care.
My partner is supportive, and I have guilt about it.
I feel like I'm finally connecting with people, and I just want to isolate.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Things are fucked up and I don't have anyone to talk to about any if it.
Call a long distance friend who doesn't know what's up?
Talk to the friend I need to call out for their racist BS?
Talk to my partner who is part of the problem?
Talk to a coworker and tell them my tea?
My therapist in 2 weeks?
Call a long distance friend who doesn't know what's up?
Talk to the friend I need to call out for their racist BS?
Talk to my partner who is part of the problem?
Talk to a coworker and tell them my tea?
My therapist in 2 weeks?
November 13, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Things are fucked up and I don't have anyone to talk to about any if it.
Call a long distance friend who doesn't know what's up?
Talk to the friend I need to call out for their racist BS?
Talk to my partner who is part of the problem?
Talk to a coworker and tell them my tea?
My therapist in 2 weeks?
Call a long distance friend who doesn't know what's up?
Talk to the friend I need to call out for their racist BS?
Talk to my partner who is part of the problem?
Talk to a coworker and tell them my tea?
My therapist in 2 weeks?
Great things afoot, also those things may get completely fucked up by my thoughts and emotions.
It could be amazing. It could also not happen, be the end of my relationship, and possibly more.
It could work out, or completely destroy my hopes for the future.
It might make me happy, it might not.
It could be amazing. It could also not happen, be the end of my relationship, and possibly more.
It could work out, or completely destroy my hopes for the future.
It might make me happy, it might not.
November 13, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Great things afoot, also those things may get completely fucked up by my thoughts and emotions.
It could be amazing. It could also not happen, be the end of my relationship, and possibly more.
It could work out, or completely destroy my hopes for the future.
It might make me happy, it might not.
It could be amazing. It could also not happen, be the end of my relationship, and possibly more.
It could work out, or completely destroy my hopes for the future.
It might make me happy, it might not.
I've never felt so much envy towards a single person before. So much that it spills into every interaction with them, even when I'm not involved. The whole friend group earns my envy, but that one person really fucks me up.
It's not her fault, it's all me.
She leads a life I've always dreamt of.
It's not her fault, it's all me.
She leads a life I've always dreamt of.
November 12, 2025 at 12:45 PM
I've never felt so much envy towards a single person before. So much that it spills into every interaction with them, even when I'm not involved. The whole friend group earns my envy, but that one person really fucks me up.
It's not her fault, it's all me.
She leads a life I've always dreamt of.
It's not her fault, it's all me.
She leads a life I've always dreamt of.
It's good to know that RSD is fucking with me.
Maybe those friends mean what they say and they want me around.
Unfortunately, RSD isn't letting me believe it.
I hate that the "cure" for RSD is just do the opposite of your gut instinct.
Maybe those friends mean what they say and they want me around.
Unfortunately, RSD isn't letting me believe it.
I hate that the "cure" for RSD is just do the opposite of your gut instinct.
November 4, 2025 at 6:02 PM
It's good to know that RSD is fucking with me.
Maybe those friends mean what they say and they want me around.
Unfortunately, RSD isn't letting me believe it.
I hate that the "cure" for RSD is just do the opposite of your gut instinct.
Maybe those friends mean what they say and they want me around.
Unfortunately, RSD isn't letting me believe it.
I hate that the "cure" for RSD is just do the opposite of your gut instinct.