ivy astarael, an ocean of tears
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ivyeternal.bsky.social
ivy astarael, an ocean of tears
@ivyeternal.bsky.social
440 followers 660 following 8.3K posts
aphrodite has but one precept
you must love yourself
let everything else flow from that

new england / dark woods / ocean salt
38, audhd
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ivyeternal.bsky.social
pretty much fucking over it
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses staring into the camera. she is wearing a black and white striped shirt and has her hair in a braid that is visible over her left shoulder. she has been clenching her jaw for so long that she isn't entirely certain how one would open one's mouth.
December 7, 2025 at 10:49 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
some days i am content to simply be an attractive, semi-competent woman
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses in front of a navy blue backdrop. she is smiling at the camera and has subtle "clean look" makeup on. she is wearing a white and navy long-sleeved shirt.
December 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
a magic thing i discovered last christmas (and i'm actually wearing one right now) is ll bean wool sweaters come in women's tall sizes

having a sweater where the sleeves actually come down past my wrists and the hem goes inches past my belt has been the warmest most wonderful experience
photograph that shows the sleeve of a sweater on the long arm of a tall woman with reasonably broad shoulders. the sleeve is a warm autumn yellow-brown and reaches past the wrist all the way to the base of the thumb.
December 6, 2025 at 3:59 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
ooh, stats ? i love visualizations of stats

the stats reveal that i am ~very~ much a nobody, much more so than the previous time i was online

i think my overall usage is healthier, but i will always miss the days before public access

um, sorry, krystal
word cloud of ivy's most used words. "fuck" stands out for being 3x as large as the next most common word. amusingly, "gods" and "goddamn" both appear but singular "god" does not. ivy's top used emojis. the blue heart 💙 is the most common, followed by 😭 sob 😇 angel 😅 and "ehheheh". damn, what a change from 2023. image of my most interacted accounts. first was krystal swords, second most was chelsea, who is currently deactivated, third is ripp, and that's despite me not posting any size content in over a year. granted this has only been this autumn, as i deactivated myself back in june of 2024. stats of ivy's activity patterns. 41 days active streak, 2 days being the longest break, most active time is 5pm, most active day is friday. most active month was november, but since i was only active 88 days, this is not surprising.
December 5, 2025 at 9:04 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
and a companion poem
a square image containing a poem. the title is steely blue. the text of the poem is off-white with a mild glow from behind. on the right side of the image is a watermark reading "ivy.eternal 5 dec 2025". the background of the image shows saoirse ronan and kate winslet in the film "ammonite". the image has been filtered and degraded until it is a deep brown and has the affect of a horror film. text of the poem is as follows: because i do not wish to hurt you i will restrain my passion because i do not wish to frighten you i will restrain my terror because i do not wish to sadden you i will restrain my sorrow because i do not wish to anger you i will restrain my rage i rounded off all my edges to keep you safe and made of myself a bullet because i wished you well i have destroyed you, utterly
December 5, 2025 at 4:12 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
a poem for today
decorative image of a poem. the title appears in tan and brown, whole the text of the poem is in white cursive with a green outline. this text is displayed over an image of héloïse at the symphony hall from the final scene of the film "portrait of a lady on fire". the green of the text matches the green of the dress she wears in her portrait. there is a watermark on the right edge of the image reading "ivy.eternal 5 dec 2025". the title of the poem is "ache." the text is as follows: the beauty of agony unconstrained is vibrant and powerful and flows, like liquid, into joy to which no level of stoic acceptance or puritanical denial of the body could ever hold a candle "portrait de la jeune fille en feu" and the glorious ache of love these are my guiding lights
December 5, 2025 at 3:37 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
oh, that is unpleasant
screenshot of ivy's phone showing the temperature outside is -2°f
December 5, 2025 at 12:36 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
i haven't listened to bebop in probably fifteen years or so

this is what i grew up on, the constant soundtrack to the best parts of my childhood

i did not have an appreciation at the time for how ~fucking fast~ these guys are

bebop hits different on estrogen
the cover of mingus ah um
December 5, 2025 at 4:41 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
left side molar 1

this was marginally better

most days

not all of the days though

tw: tooth stuff
a photograph of a molar 1 with severe rot in the root. there are bits of flesh still attached to the tooth.
December 4, 2025 at 11:34 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
right side molar 1

absolutely brutal experience living with that

do not recommend

tw: tooth stuff
photo of a molar with a disturbing hole eaten away in it
December 4, 2025 at 11:30 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
honestly, this breton shirt

i have a few that are similar, but this one is stupid comfortable and it always makes me feel good about myself

horizontal stripes for life
selfie of ivy wearing a black and white striped long sleeve shirt, often known as a breton shirt, with a deep v neck. this picture was taken a couple of years ago, so her hair is blonde and pretty and looks very expensive, and also she's smiling because her life isn't on fire yet. the shirt still looks good on me, though.
December 4, 2025 at 10:36 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
ten years? hahahaha//choke//snort

yeah, ten years
selfie of a dude in a grey sweater standing in front of a brick wall. he has long brown hair and a large brown beard and moustache that covers most of his mouth. he's wearing wireframe glasses and looks like he probably writes tolstoy fan fiction. selfie of a white trans woman with long blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses. she's wearing a raspberry colour slouchy toque she crocheted herself. she's wearing a burgundy cashmere sweater and looks genuinely happy. she probably still reads tolstoy, though.
November 27, 2025 at 12:36 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
i suspected that might catch some attention 😇

she's a gorgeous car

fast, loud, and terribly difficult to keep running her best, on account of being 22 years old

but she was my dream when i was 16 and she's still my dream at 38
four photos of ivy's car, a glorious 2003 bmw m3 convertible, triple black, six speed manual transmission. the pictures are several years old, and i no longer have the custom galadriel plates.
November 24, 2025 at 2:54 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
wearing red coloured contacts from halloween because i'm out of regular ones, and they do make my eyes look distressingly large

then again, i also tightlined in white, so i maybe i was just chasing that @coyotegirl.online doe-eyes thing
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and red coloured contact lenses, wearing a crocheted toque and a cashmere burgundy sweater
November 24, 2025 at 1:40 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
me yesterday: everything is garbage and i'm basically just a corpse who hasn't figured out how to stop yet

me today: aww hell no, i'm literally too pretty to die

goddamn hormones
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses standing in an interior doorway. she is wearing a white collared shirt with black polkadots that she has not bothered to button all the way. she is wearing an ammonite necklace and you can faintly see her bra through the white fabric of her shirt. her eyes absolutely give the impression that she has not slept well in about two decades, but somehow she cannot be stopped.
November 20, 2025 at 8:21 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
funny things happen when i actually take care of my hair
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses. she's standing in front of a white wooden door and wearing a black long-sleeved shirt. her hair is lying in cute curls on her shoulders
November 19, 2025 at 3:15 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
no one can judge me

my cat already has taken that role
a photograph of a fluffy, black norwegian forest cat sitting on top of a mahogany dresser. behind her is visible the top of a glass bottle, a brass candle holder, a hardcover copy of dune, and a deck of tarot cards
November 18, 2025 at 3:43 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
there's "forced orgasm is a fun kink to indulge" and then there's "how about i subject you to 103.7k consecutive orgasms"

and i thought i was a sadist
screenshot of krystal swords's bsky profile that shows krystal has made nearly 104,000 posts
November 17, 2025 at 6:44 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
more ink pen fun
photo of a page in ivy's notebook. there is a drawing of a mountain range at the top of the page, and the the bottom of the page has a number of different blackletter calligraphy practice. most of it is different variations of "genesis"
November 16, 2025 at 7:08 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
practicing my calligraphy with some of my own poetry

this isn't my usual pen, so i struggled with consistency

i definitely need to do more regular practice at textura prescisus
photo of a notebook with black gothic writing on it. text reads: apotheos, i am your string. i am plucked. i am bowed. (red shifted). i am the howl of truth at the core of cold emptiness, the instrument of grief and joy.
November 16, 2025 at 4:05 AM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
poem
photo of an open notebook with a red and a blue pen laid on the left page. the right page contains the poem "sometimes". text of the poem is as follows: sometimes i think about myself too much i have a big nose and somebody broke it when i was a little girl but i don't remember it sometimes i think about myself too much i can't fit my feet into the shoes i want and i'm constantly banging my toes on the staircase sometimes i think i don't know how people tolerate me my voice my opinions my idiosyncrasies sometimes but other times the sun rises and you kiss me on the nose and you say “good morning, beautiful”
November 15, 2025 at 10:56 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
"it's the bravest warriors! they're dead! they're ~all~ deaaaaad!"
screenshot from s01e01 of "bravest warriors". image depicts four animated characters standing in front of their own corpses. red energy particles are streaming through the air.
November 15, 2025 at 8:45 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
ivy's legs in the atlantic surf. the water temperature was 45°f
November 14, 2025 at 11:33 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
the water here was 45°f, and it was raining. air temp was 47.

60°f is basically summer

still went in until i couldn't feel my feet anymore
selfie of ivy in a bikini top and leather jacket standing on the rain on the maine coast
November 14, 2025 at 11:29 PM
ivyeternal.bsky.social
i regret* to inform my critics that i am still alive and still beautiful
selfie of a white trans woman with blonde hair and transparent cateye glasses. she is standing in front of wooden cabinets, smiling slightly at the camera, and wearing a blue turtleneck.
November 14, 2025 at 8:57 PM