I have no idea what kind of vibes I'm currently putting out, but shit has gotten really weird in the last couple of days.

My hair stylist is an old friend and does my hair for next-to-nothing (I tip the fuck out of her), but sometimes that means she's a little sloppy. I have hair color all around my dang hairline and I'm going out tonight. Farts.

Per executive order these terms must be removed from all government documents:

•Bill Wennington
•Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje
•Robert Pack
•Benoit Benjamin
•Carlos Arroyo
•Shavlik Randolph
•Eric Montross
•Calbert Cheaney

This dude said he wanted to plan a romantic date for tonight...

We're going to a dive bar and the adult arcade. Not regretting telling him I am not interested in Valentine's Day.

Dude I went on a first date with Friday night (not the dude I spent the night with Friday night) wants to buy basketball tickets for us, concert tickets, and wants make plans for a romantic Valentine's. My dude, slow your fucking roll.

I've been seeing this guy for not quite three months and I'm on like, my fourth review of his novel. I have no idea what is going on here.