I can hear my roommate hacking up a lung in his room right now and I swear to god if I get sick I’m going to kms

Bless the gay flight attendant who is keeping the drinks coming on this 14 hour flight home

I’m at a bar in Sydney right now and it’s so wonderful that the walls are covered in photos of the local performers. Would be sickening to see the same support from the bars in San Jose

I get the culture in Sydney is different, but for a store worker to walk up to me, look me up and down, and then tell me the size I should be looking at when I did not ask rubbed me the wrong way

One of these days my bag will be the first one to come out at baggage claim. Manifesting that

Holy shit, I want to move to Tasmania 😭

You better not be a cunty whiskey still when I get there

Me:

Bye Tw*tt*r! 👋🏼