jaclyn
@jaclynfabulous.bsky.social
i think i just have a sad soul
Pinned
jaclyn
@jaclynfabulous.bsky.social
· Jun 6
Until I meet Cher or an elephant puts me on its back with its trunk life is nothing but a let down.
I hate when people assume because I don't like Christmas I must love Krampus.
I don't like any of it. And I think I hate Krampus more.
I don't like any of it. And I think I hate Krampus more.
December 19, 2025 at 11:03 AM
I hate when people assume because I don't like Christmas I must love Krampus.
I don't like any of it. And I think I hate Krampus more.
I don't like any of it. And I think I hate Krampus more.
It's been 6 years since I've last seen Cher in concert. That's too long. I miss her.
December 8, 2025 at 5:31 PM
It's been 6 years since I've last seen Cher in concert. That's too long. I miss her.
I'd rather marry Thor than Ant-Man but I'd rather marry Paul Rudd than Chris Hemsworth.
November 25, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I'd rather marry Thor than Ant-Man but I'd rather marry Paul Rudd than Chris Hemsworth.
Shout out to whoever finally paid attention and realized goth chicks usually have cats and started making bat and coffin shaped cat towers and beds.
November 7, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Shout out to whoever finally paid attention and realized goth chicks usually have cats and started making bat and coffin shaped cat towers and beds.
I will never understand people who want to get their caricatures. Who has the emotional strength to let a complete stranger make an impulse judgement of your looks and potentially pick your biggest insecurity to overdramatize in cartoon form. Un-fucking-real.
October 14, 2025 at 10:24 PM
I will never understand people who want to get their caricatures. Who has the emotional strength to let a complete stranger make an impulse judgement of your looks and potentially pick your biggest insecurity to overdramatize in cartoon form. Un-fucking-real.
Nothing like an early Sunday morning when the only other people outside are the ones doing their morning runs and getting in some early exercise.
We always do the polite head nod things as they run past me while I'm sitting on my stoop getting high.
It's the way Sundays should be.
We always do the polite head nod things as they run past me while I'm sitting on my stoop getting high.
It's the way Sundays should be.
September 14, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Nothing like an early Sunday morning when the only other people outside are the ones doing their morning runs and getting in some early exercise.
We always do the polite head nod things as they run past me while I'm sitting on my stoop getting high.
It's the way Sundays should be.
We always do the polite head nod things as they run past me while I'm sitting on my stoop getting high.
It's the way Sundays should be.
I used to think my right side was my good side. Now I'm thinking it's my left.
This is too much to process.
This is too much to process.
August 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
I used to think my right side was my good side. Now I'm thinking it's my left.
This is too much to process.
This is too much to process.
can we vote celebrities into the 27 Club? asking for Jojo Siwa
July 13, 2025 at 9:59 AM
can we vote celebrities into the 27 Club? asking for Jojo Siwa
Until I meet Cher or an elephant puts me on its back with its trunk life is nothing but a let down.
June 6, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Until I meet Cher or an elephant puts me on its back with its trunk life is nothing but a let down.
According to my friend Ashley my astrological big 3 are Taurus, Pisces and Aquarius. K
More importantly, she said my personality big 3 are Larry David, Cher and Trixie Mattel. An honor.
More importantly, she said my personality big 3 are Larry David, Cher and Trixie Mattel. An honor.
May 24, 2025 at 10:55 AM
According to my friend Ashley my astrological big 3 are Taurus, Pisces and Aquarius. K
More importantly, she said my personality big 3 are Larry David, Cher and Trixie Mattel. An honor.
More importantly, she said my personality big 3 are Larry David, Cher and Trixie Mattel. An honor.
Every time I have to help a customer wearing "MAGA" shit I make it a point to only look at the center of their forehead instead of looking them directly in the eye.
April 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Every time I have to help a customer wearing "MAGA" shit I make it a point to only look at the center of their forehead instead of looking them directly in the eye.
One reason I like work is because I have an outlet to be a petty bitch.
Being a petty bitch in life isn't kind or what I wanna put out into the world. But at work being a petty bitch hits different. I'm just out here following rules and making sure others do too.
Being a petty bitch in life isn't kind or what I wanna put out into the world. But at work being a petty bitch hits different. I'm just out here following rules and making sure others do too.
April 4, 2025 at 4:04 PM
One reason I like work is because I have an outlet to be a petty bitch.
Being a petty bitch in life isn't kind or what I wanna put out into the world. But at work being a petty bitch hits different. I'm just out here following rules and making sure others do too.
Being a petty bitch in life isn't kind or what I wanna put out into the world. But at work being a petty bitch hits different. I'm just out here following rules and making sure others do too.
I know "deli" is short for delicatessen but with all that meat and cheese I like to think it's short for delicious.
March 13, 2025 at 4:49 PM
I know "deli" is short for delicatessen but with all that meat and cheese I like to think it's short for delicious.
Gluten eating friends agreeing to go to a dorky gluten free fest with me is the highest form of friendship.
February 28, 2025 at 7:36 PM
Gluten eating friends agreeing to go to a dorky gluten free fest with me is the highest form of friendship.
Where did Kendrick get those jeans? 10/10
February 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Where did Kendrick get those jeans? 10/10
Today is the 18th anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death.
I'm still not over it.
I'm still not over it.
a close up of a woman 's face with blonde hair and pink lipstick
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with blonde hair and pink lipstick
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Today is the 18th anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death.
I'm still not over it.
I'm still not over it.
I dropped a gallon of water in Whole Foods and it burst open but there was no one around so I just left and now I'll feel guilty about it for the rest of my life.
January 9, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I dropped a gallon of water in Whole Foods and it burst open but there was no one around so I just left and now I'll feel guilty about it for the rest of my life.
For a bag of 50 pizza rolls it is $5.99.
For a box of 10 Gluten Free pizza rolls it is $8.49. That'd be over $42 to get the same number of pizza rolls.
Going forward, this will be the reason/explanation I'm gonna give people every time when they ask why I am depressed.
For a box of 10 Gluten Free pizza rolls it is $8.49. That'd be over $42 to get the same number of pizza rolls.
Going forward, this will be the reason/explanation I'm gonna give people every time when they ask why I am depressed.
January 5, 2025 at 12:00 PM
For a bag of 50 pizza rolls it is $5.99.
For a box of 10 Gluten Free pizza rolls it is $8.49. That'd be over $42 to get the same number of pizza rolls.
Going forward, this will be the reason/explanation I'm gonna give people every time when they ask why I am depressed.
For a box of 10 Gluten Free pizza rolls it is $8.49. That'd be over $42 to get the same number of pizza rolls.
Going forward, this will be the reason/explanation I'm gonna give people every time when they ask why I am depressed.
Where can I find every Pop-Up Video?
I feel like laying in bed with a cake or pie and watching every Pop-Up Video would be the ideal day.
I feel like laying in bed with a cake or pie and watching every Pop-Up Video would be the ideal day.
January 4, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Where can I find every Pop-Up Video?
I feel like laying in bed with a cake or pie and watching every Pop-Up Video would be the ideal day.
I feel like laying in bed with a cake or pie and watching every Pop-Up Video would be the ideal day.
Reminder that Dolly Parton's Hard Candy Christmas actually has nothing to do with Christmas. It's about whores leaving a whorehouse.
Festive.
Festive.
December 23, 2024 at 8:48 PM
Reminder that Dolly Parton's Hard Candy Christmas actually has nothing to do with Christmas. It's about whores leaving a whorehouse.
Festive.
Festive.
The holiday UPS guy for my job told me I have a cute smile. So now I have to hate him and kill myself.
It's been... unpleasant. I will miss so few of you.
It's been... unpleasant. I will miss so few of you.
December 16, 2024 at 3:23 PM
The holiday UPS guy for my job told me I have a cute smile. So now I have to hate him and kill myself.
It's been... unpleasant. I will miss so few of you.
It's been... unpleasant. I will miss so few of you.
Can we trade like 50 shitty pop stars to get Amy Winehouse back?
December 13, 2024 at 11:44 AM
Can we trade like 50 shitty pop stars to get Amy Winehouse back?
When I was a kid we always knew Santa wasn't real. My mother said she didn't want to lie to us.
BUT every creak we heard in the old house she'd tell us it was the ghost of Crazy Aunt Sheila in the attic.
We never even had an Aunt Sheila.
And people wonder where my trust issues started.
BUT every creak we heard in the old house she'd tell us it was the ghost of Crazy Aunt Sheila in the attic.
We never even had an Aunt Sheila.
And people wonder where my trust issues started.
December 4, 2024 at 1:19 AM
When I was a kid we always knew Santa wasn't real. My mother said she didn't want to lie to us.
BUT every creak we heard in the old house she'd tell us it was the ghost of Crazy Aunt Sheila in the attic.
We never even had an Aunt Sheila.
And people wonder where my trust issues started.
BUT every creak we heard in the old house she'd tell us it was the ghost of Crazy Aunt Sheila in the attic.
We never even had an Aunt Sheila.
And people wonder where my trust issues started.
This year it's really easy to tune out the Thanksgiving nonsense. You can focus on the real historic event....
Happy Anna Nicole's Birthday!
Happy Anna Nicole's Birthday!
a close up of a woman 's face with earrings on
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with earrings on
media.tenor.com
November 28, 2024 at 9:01 PM
This year it's really easy to tune out the Thanksgiving nonsense. You can focus on the real historic event....
Happy Anna Nicole's Birthday!
Happy Anna Nicole's Birthday!
Dealing with other people about my allergy is worse than having the allergy itself.
Just believe me. It's real. I would never choose to limit myself to the point of not being able to have my favorite things for no reason.
Just believe me. It's real. I would never choose to limit myself to the point of not being able to have my favorite things for no reason.
November 18, 2024 at 2:30 PM
Dealing with other people about my allergy is worse than having the allergy itself.
Just believe me. It's real. I would never choose to limit myself to the point of not being able to have my favorite things for no reason.
Just believe me. It's real. I would never choose to limit myself to the point of not being able to have my favorite things for no reason.