Jacob Simpson (author)
@jacobsimpson.bsky.social
Pastor, writer, he/him, many other things.
I remember seeing Ichiro at Camden Yards during his second year in Seattle. He fouled off three pitches to the right before sharply hitting an opposite field single. I've been to hundreds of MLB games, seen countless at-bats and that's one of the few I have an indelible memory of.
January 16, 2026 at 4:30 PM
I remember seeing Ichiro at Camden Yards during his second year in Seattle. He fouled off three pitches to the right before sharply hitting an opposite field single. I've been to hundreds of MLB games, seen countless at-bats and that's one of the few I have an indelible memory of.
I was shocked at the new MNR prices and I thought I was immune from shock given I've seen them go up consistently for 20 years. $24 for something called a day pass!!! Who tf rides back and forth on the MNR more than twice a day?
January 14, 2026 at 10:44 PM
I was shocked at the new MNR prices and I thought I was immune from shock given I've seen them go up consistently for 20 years. $24 for something called a day pass!!! Who tf rides back and forth on the MNR more than twice a day?
I'd like to see it, especially as a Ravens fan who watched too many talented Baltimore squads Wile E. Coyote themselves against Tomlin's well-prepared teams. Just keep him out of the division.
January 13, 2026 at 7:34 PM
I'd like to see it, especially as a Ravens fan who watched too many talented Baltimore squads Wile E. Coyote themselves against Tomlin's well-prepared teams. Just keep him out of the division.
Same here. I remember liking Dilbert as a kid. It made me feel mature to read it, like this was how adults acted when they got jobs.
My mom was a single mom so we were big on Cathy too.
My mom was a single mom so we were big on Cathy too.
January 13, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Same here. I remember liking Dilbert as a kid. It made me feel mature to read it, like this was how adults acted when they got jobs.
My mom was a single mom so we were big on Cathy too.
My mom was a single mom so we were big on Cathy too.
She was awesome next to Portman in Black Swan.
January 12, 2026 at 1:03 AM
She was awesome next to Portman in Black Swan.
The mother of Elon’s most recent child.
January 11, 2026 at 8:05 PM
The mother of Elon’s most recent child.
Read an article today about how they’re a “modern blue blood” and I’m not a RINGZ guy but don’t you have to win one first?
January 10, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Read an article today about how they’re a “modern blue blood” and I’m not a RINGZ guy but don’t you have to win one first?
Shit and Penn State should have won! That touchdown catch was one of those Remember Exactly Where I Was Moments: at a coffee shop with my kids, watching on my phone, I kept making them sit.
January 10, 2026 at 2:33 AM
Shit and Penn State should have won! That touchdown catch was one of those Remember Exactly Where I Was Moments: at a coffee shop with my kids, watching on my phone, I kept making them sit.
Hasn’t even won a national championship. I don’t get the hype.
January 10, 2026 at 2:14 AM
Hasn’t even won a national championship. I don’t get the hype.
Still remember a Lutheran Church selling me Leinenkugel on my visit to Lambeau. Those folks are legit.
January 10, 2026 at 12:21 AM
Still remember a Lutheran Church selling me Leinenkugel on my visit to Lambeau. Those folks are legit.
My former NYCFC community is mostly there. Niche as hell and that was the main congregating spot for years. I miss it so much but I'd chew glass before getting back on X.
January 9, 2026 at 10:04 PM
My former NYCFC community is mostly there. Niche as hell and that was the main congregating spot for years. I miss it so much but I'd chew glass before getting back on X.
I think this would be a big mistake for both parties. He’s used to working with such steady ownership. Feel like the Giants and Falcons are better fits.
January 6, 2026 at 10:26 PM
I think this would be a big mistake for both parties. He’s used to working with such steady ownership. Feel like the Giants and Falcons are better fits.
I was screaming at them to run one more play. I didn’t trust the kid from that far out at all.
January 5, 2026 at 4:53 AM
I was screaming at them to run one more play. I didn’t trust the kid from that far out at all.
Willis McGahee still looking for his helmet from the 2009 AFC Championship After that hit he took.
January 5, 2026 at 1:32 AM
Willis McGahee still looking for his helmet from the 2009 AFC Championship After that hit he took.
I'll never get over the pettiness of Atlanta's 2019 schedule reveal, that was top tier hateration. www.atlantafalcons.com/news/early-b...
Early Bird Report: Falcons roast Saints with 2019 schedule release video
Today’s Early Bird Report includes an in-depth breakdown of the Falcons’ 2019 schedule and the latest shot fired in the Falcons-Saints rivalry
www.atlantafalcons.com
December 30, 2025 at 6:55 PM
I'll never get over the pettiness of Atlanta's 2019 schedule reveal, that was top tier hateration. www.atlantafalcons.com/news/early-b...
Every time I see a Do You Know Who I Am?, I hear Dewey Cox in my head: "What about if-if you famous?"
December 29, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Every time I see a Do You Know Who I Am?, I hear Dewey Cox in my head: "What about if-if you famous?"
In this stadium, dammit! (signed, a Ravens fan)
December 22, 2025 at 3:53 AM
In this stadium, dammit! (signed, a Ravens fan)
Made my top 10 of the century. Best meditation on death I’ve ever seen on film.
December 15, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Made my top 10 of the century. Best meditation on death I’ve ever seen on film.
It's wild that Trump is doing more damage than his first term while working even less when his first term routine was logging into his phone at 6am and RTing FOX News' top story at 7am.
December 2, 2025 at 8:39 PM
It's wild that Trump is doing more damage than his first term while working even less when his first term routine was logging into his phone at 6am and RTing FOX News' top story at 7am.
The Dream Hotel by Laila Lalami for fiction, The Gods of New York for non-fiction.
November 30, 2025 at 1:46 AM
The Dream Hotel by Laila Lalami for fiction, The Gods of New York for non-fiction.
Should be angrier than I am. Injury-bitten and having the bad fortune to meet a Miami team that finally came together under Messi. Took em long enough.
Proud of how we fought and the win over Chester is a top 10 franchise win of all-time. A truly great memory to lord over their asshat fans.
Proud of how we fought and the win over Chester is a top 10 franchise win of all-time. A truly great memory to lord over their asshat fans.
November 30, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Should be angrier than I am. Injury-bitten and having the bad fortune to meet a Miami team that finally came together under Messi. Took em long enough.
Proud of how we fought and the win over Chester is a top 10 franchise win of all-time. A truly great memory to lord over their asshat fans.
Proud of how we fought and the win over Chester is a top 10 franchise win of all-time. A truly great memory to lord over their asshat fans.
I really miss old school NYCFC Twitter tonight. Keep waiting for Bill the Butcher to post the victory gif.
November 24, 2025 at 3:06 AM
I really miss old school NYCFC Twitter tonight. Keep waiting for Bill the Butcher to post the victory gif.
Nights like this make me miss Old School NYCFC Twitter so much!!! Would be popping off right now. Damn.
November 24, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Nights like this make me miss Old School NYCFC Twitter so much!!! Would be popping off right now. Damn.
I know the crossover between Eagles fans and Union fans is small but to to see their collective hearts get ripped twice in one day would be fantastic.
November 24, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I know the crossover between Eagles fans and Union fans is small but to to see their collective hearts get ripped twice in one day would be fantastic.
A 100+ passer rating with a 25% comp percentage is insane.
November 17, 2025 at 10:30 PM
A 100+ passer rating with a 25% comp percentage is insane.