Peppy was so much more annoying than Slippy.

These songwriters sure do feel a great number of things in their bones.

Middle schoolers get way too stoked when they learn that Chad is a country, like... more than school getting out early stoked.

It's such a disappointment to myself that I am just now discovering the masterful work of Avalanches. I'm sorry, music.

You don't want to cross me, buddy, I wait for the microwave to beep before I open it.

(Chex Mix)

...

Yep, there's still mix here.

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE FLU.

I had it this weekend: It gave me a 104-degree fever, and with it came a brain fog that --I AM NOT JOKING-- made me watch and enjoy HOURS of Mr. Beast videos. HOURS.

It will take weeks for my body to recover, and my Youtube algorithm is ruined.

The McRib might come and go, but the public school cafeteria's MISTER Rib is with us year round.

I know I'm in the lame part of getting older now, because I woke up to a zit on my face and was actually kind of excited that those still happen.

Hey baby, just call me the letter Q, because I can't go anywhere without "u". Except Qatar I guess.

The repetitiveness of new Christmas music makes Christian rock sound like David Bowie.

Gingers in the North have a secret superpower where we put on a winter hat, and then boom: No one recognizes us in public.

I half-listened to a joke one of my eighth graders told me today:

"What do you call a green hot dog? Relish!!" Then he said, "Do you get it?"

"Uh... yeah, I get it."

Suddenly, his expression hardened.

"Then explain it."

Go go gadget algorithm:

My name is Jacob, and I'm new here. I'm a local comedian, improv comic, and DJ based in Sioux Falls, SD.

Many of my jokes are either about having autism or being an English teacher.

I like Nintendo stuff and board games.

Let me just say, I'm excited to be here. 🤠