He says he’s gonna wear an eye patch till it heals (bc he can’t close his eye) and tell everyone he arm wrestled a lion and all he lost was an eye.

Often caused by untreated upper respiratory infections. In case you were wondering.

I mean, duh? But also, contagious people shouldn't leave their houses unless it's to go to the doctor.

The stupidity is breathtaking.

I regularly send my husband to help people I see struggling with something he’s suited for (like reaching the top shelf). Why wouldn’t you?

The ladies who feign Ike they’re trying to reach it but can’t hoping someone will notice crack me up.

Thank you <3