2025 Outs: Title Case, connecting with your ex on LinkedIn, baggy shorts, Instagram reels
2026 ins: sentence case, wearing jockstraps to the office, Pokémon rom hacks on your phone
2026 ins: sentence case, wearing jockstraps to the office, Pokémon rom hacks on your phone
December 31, 2025 at 2:11 AM
2025 Outs: Title Case, connecting with your ex on LinkedIn, baggy shorts, Instagram reels
2026 ins: sentence case, wearing jockstraps to the office, Pokémon rom hacks on your phone
2026 ins: sentence case, wearing jockstraps to the office, Pokémon rom hacks on your phone
My husband just said “Welp, time to drown the computer” as he held down the start button. And I turned to him? And was like, sorry? And he said “don’t you feel like when you hold down the power button you’re forcing its head underwater”
December 31, 2025 at 12:25 AM
My husband just said “Welp, time to drown the computer” as he held down the start button. And I turned to him? And was like, sorry? And he said “don’t you feel like when you hold down the power button you’re forcing its head underwater”
I’ve had three beers time to respond to every insta story like it’s my job on the production line
December 18, 2025 at 8:31 AM
I’ve had three beers time to respond to every insta story like it’s my job on the production line
this man hands me his kindle on the train and with a smirk says “hey, read the first couple of sentences of this page”
*Finds out about an Ancient Greek/Roman goddess* Oh wow Lovecraft used her in one of his stories.
[three minutes later]
The cat is called WHAT
[three minutes later]
The cat is called WHAT
I’ve slowed down a little bit on this but the idea of a mathematician accidentally stumbling into dreadful arcane witchcraft because his formulas are too complex absolutely rules. The story is bad though. Oh well!
November 9, 2025 at 3:18 AM
this man hands me his kindle on the train and with a smirk says “hey, read the first couple of sentences of this page”
business guy who posts about Michel de Montaigne like it’s Sun Tzu or Machiavelli
October 22, 2025 at 9:16 PM
business guy who posts about Michel de Montaigne like it’s Sun Tzu or Machiavelli
what im thinkin when ur story at the pub is going on and on
October 22, 2025 at 2:37 AM
what im thinkin when ur story at the pub is going on and on
can’t explain it but the water tastes better straight from the tap in the bathroom than it does in the kitchen
September 3, 2025 at 8:24 AM
can’t explain it but the water tastes better straight from the tap in the bathroom than it does in the kitchen
sometimes on a late night home, when the suburban streets are deathly quiet — I’ll spot the outline of a cat, hidden behind a wheel of a car, or standing sentinel on the fence and think — fuck!! how many more of you have I missed!?
September 2, 2025 at 4:13 PM
sometimes on a late night home, when the suburban streets are deathly quiet — I’ll spot the outline of a cat, hidden behind a wheel of a car, or standing sentinel on the fence and think — fuck!! how many more of you have I missed!?
opening my slack in the club just to check to see if I need to urgently circle back on anything
August 30, 2025 at 2:52 PM
opening my slack in the club just to check to see if I need to urgently circle back on anything
one thing living rent free in my head after coming back from Vietnam is a gentle proprietor who, upon my imminent purchase of a bumbag, quietly protested: “no… no… Now you say a lower price to me, that’s allowed”
August 26, 2025 at 10:48 PM
one thing living rent free in my head after coming back from Vietnam is a gentle proprietor who, upon my imminent purchase of a bumbag, quietly protested: “no… no… Now you say a lower price to me, that’s allowed”
nothing quite like a friend’s phone interrupting you mid-bit to advise “X has notifications silenced”.
August 26, 2025 at 10:36 PM
nothing quite like a friend’s phone interrupting you mid-bit to advise “X has notifications silenced”.
Me, derisively: ha bet that lawyer [running the terrible appeal du jour ] went to Bond, ha ha
*checks their linkedin*
Education:
U N I V E R S I T Y
OF
S Y D N E Y
ah, well… nevertheless
*checks their linkedin*
Education:
U N I V E R S I T Y
OF
S Y D N E Y
ah, well… nevertheless
August 21, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Me, derisively: ha bet that lawyer [running the terrible appeal du jour ] went to Bond, ha ha
*checks their linkedin*
Education:
U N I V E R S I T Y
OF
S Y D N E Y
ah, well… nevertheless
*checks their linkedin*
Education:
U N I V E R S I T Y
OF
S Y D N E Y
ah, well… nevertheless
“there are no seatbelts on this minibus” I conspiratorially text to my husband on the minibus: “correct”.
If we die in a crash I wish to assure you all this minibus did not have seatbelts. I don’t want a judgmental news reporter advising you otherwise.
If this is my last skeet🫡
If we die in a crash I wish to assure you all this minibus did not have seatbelts. I don’t want a judgmental news reporter advising you otherwise.
If this is my last skeet🫡
August 1, 2025 at 4:30 AM
“there are no seatbelts on this minibus” I conspiratorially text to my husband on the minibus: “correct”.
If we die in a crash I wish to assure you all this minibus did not have seatbelts. I don’t want a judgmental news reporter advising you otherwise.
If this is my last skeet🫡
If we die in a crash I wish to assure you all this minibus did not have seatbelts. I don’t want a judgmental news reporter advising you otherwise.
If this is my last skeet🫡
that one guy who knows how sing? Yeah you better believe he’s killing it at the open karaoke
July 25, 2025 at 3:38 PM
that one guy who knows how sing? Yeah you better believe he’s killing it at the open karaoke
[in the broadest australian accent you’ve ever heard, in Hoi An] yeah mate every aussie loaves ABBA? Have
You seen strictly ballroom ??
You seen strictly ballroom ??
July 25, 2025 at 3:27 PM
[in the broadest australian accent you’ve ever heard, in Hoi An] yeah mate every aussie loaves ABBA? Have
You seen strictly ballroom ??
You seen strictly ballroom ??
australian gays doing abba when pressed to perform karaoke at the gay bar
July 25, 2025 at 3:25 PM
australian gays doing abba when pressed to perform karaoke at the gay bar
I give mum energy at the gay bar open karaoke
July 25, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I give mum energy at the gay bar open karaoke
Finding out my white shirt is actually filthy under the black light at the queer bar is a new level of gay panic I didn’t need on HOLIDAY
July 19, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Finding out my white shirt is actually filthy under the black light at the queer bar is a new level of gay panic I didn’t need on HOLIDAY
you can’t spell THAnks without HAT
July 5, 2025 at 3:36 AM
you can’t spell THAnks without HAT
love port, nice reminder that raisins are, in fact, grapes
June 21, 2025 at 11:38 AM
love port, nice reminder that raisins are, in fact, grapes
omg is this the set from the nanny?
June 7, 2025 at 12:25 PM
omg is this the set from the nanny?
my first day working comms at the opera house: happy PRIDE - it’s FAGOT season, watch this TWINK blow his giant BASSOON
June 7, 2025 at 10:35 AM
my first day working comms at the opera house: happy PRIDE - it’s FAGOT season, watch this TWINK blow his giant BASSOON
my take home from thunderbolts is that I want Julia Lewis Dreyfus to call me “good girl” ??
May 9, 2025 at 11:00 AM
my take home from thunderbolts is that I want Julia Lewis Dreyfus to call me “good girl” ??
GIVE RUBY RHOD A LIGHTSABER
April 20, 2025 at 5:14 AM
GIVE RUBY RHOD A LIGHTSABER