Inevitability is the greatest terror
January 2, 2026 at 2:33 PM
Inevitability is the greatest terror
I occasionally wonder what my life would be like if I had the capacity to dance
December 5, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I occasionally wonder what my life would be like if I had the capacity to dance
My life is a phone in low power mode
November 1, 2025 at 7:06 PM
My life is a phone in low power mode
It's coming to that time of year when you must avoid walking between any two things. Because between any two things is a spider on a web.
Between cars and walls, between today and tomorrow, between hopes and dreams.
Between cars and walls, between today and tomorrow, between hopes and dreams.
September 24, 2025 at 9:25 PM
It's coming to that time of year when you must avoid walking between any two things. Because between any two things is a spider on a web.
Between cars and walls, between today and tomorrow, between hopes and dreams.
Between cars and walls, between today and tomorrow, between hopes and dreams.
We're still doing something right at least
September 24, 2025 at 12:23 PM
We're still doing something right at least
I really hope Ted dies in the final season of Stranger Things and nobody gives a shit because he's an arsehole.
September 14, 2025 at 1:38 PM
I really hope Ted dies in the final season of Stranger Things and nobody gives a shit because he's an arsehole.
A little considered advantage that the tall folk have is that, statistically, they step in less dog poo.
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given"
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given"
September 4, 2025 at 8:59 PM
A little considered advantage that the tall folk have is that, statistically, they step in less dog poo.
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given"
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given"
It's funny that Charlie Brooker overestimated what it would take to get a politician to fuck a pig on live TV.
All you'd need is a bunch of racists to start doing it on roundabouts and they'd be falling over themselves to show they love pig-fucking more than anyone.
All you'd need is a bunch of racists to start doing it on roundabouts and they'd be falling over themselves to show they love pig-fucking more than anyone.
September 2, 2025 at 6:44 PM
It's funny that Charlie Brooker overestimated what it would take to get a politician to fuck a pig on live TV.
All you'd need is a bunch of racists to start doing it on roundabouts and they'd be falling over themselves to show they love pig-fucking more than anyone.
All you'd need is a bunch of racists to start doing it on roundabouts and they'd be falling over themselves to show they love pig-fucking more than anyone.
Trump has now decided that Mexico is also called America so that America won the Gold Cup
July 7, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Trump has now decided that Mexico is also called America so that America won the Gold Cup
Why is mucus infinite?
June 9, 2025 at 9:58 AM
Why is mucus infinite?
As a male short-arse, I hope all dating apps follow Tinder's lead in letting women set height preferences. Why waste both of our times?
May 31, 2025 at 5:37 PM
As a male short-arse, I hope all dating apps follow Tinder's lead in letting women set height preferences. Why waste both of our times?
The irony is that the water companies are the parasites!
May 23, 2025 at 9:36 PM
The irony is that the water companies are the parasites!
I'd forgotten about our stupid Easter Sunday trading laws. Why not make Amazon shut for the day as well? 😄
April 20, 2025 at 1:24 PM
I'd forgotten about our stupid Easter Sunday trading laws. Why not make Amazon shut for the day as well? 😄
I really did enjoy watching The Residence except for one big problem. You don't need to work out the means, the motive or the opportunity; the show tells you exactly who the killer is from the first episode just because of the makers' obvious disdain for the character. It's weak writing.
April 11, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I really did enjoy watching The Residence except for one big problem. You don't need to work out the means, the motive or the opportunity; the show tells you exactly who the killer is from the first episode just because of the makers' obvious disdain for the character. It's weak writing.
I was wise beyond my years but I've aged since then.
March 18, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I was wise beyond my years but I've aged since then.
If I ever have a signature fragrance, it'll be called Chemical Eye Attack
March 17, 2025 at 11:31 PM
If I ever have a signature fragrance, it'll be called Chemical Eye Attack
I've never watched any of 'The Conjuring' movies but from the clips I've seen I'm fairly sure they're supposed to be comedies.
February 13, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I've never watched any of 'The Conjuring' movies but from the clips I've seen I'm fairly sure they're supposed to be comedies.
I can't help but believe I'm not unforgivably ugly. Unfortunately, that means I must be terminally dull.
February 2, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I can't help but believe I'm not unforgivably ugly. Unfortunately, that means I must be terminally dull.
It's infuriating seeing all the news sources refusing to admit it was a nazi salute.
You can pretend he did it by accident but it doesn't change what it was.
You can pretend he did it by accident but it doesn't change what it was.
January 21, 2025 at 11:21 PM
It's infuriating seeing all the news sources refusing to admit it was a nazi salute.
You can pretend he did it by accident but it doesn't change what it was.
You can pretend he did it by accident but it doesn't change what it was.
The fat fucker who wedged himself next to me on the train is actually bouncing his fucking leg
January 11, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The fat fucker who wedged himself next to me on the train is actually bouncing his fucking leg
Hearing a busker's accordion rendition of Chiquitita is one of the occasions I wish I ever had cash on me
November 30, 2024 at 1:29 PM
Hearing a busker's accordion rendition of Chiquitita is one of the occasions I wish I ever had cash on me
Socks with logos on the sides are just a scam to make you wear them out quicker.
November 28, 2024 at 1:30 AM
Socks with logos on the sides are just a scam to make you wear them out quicker.