Pinned
Jankus
@jankus12.bsky.social
· Mar 4
Sucking some milk right out of the cow's dick!
How am I supposed to bang my mom if she's already banging my dad?????
December 22, 2025 at 5:18 AM
How am I supposed to bang my mom if she's already banging my dad?????
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3: Somebody (Me) Cum Blasted in the Pants!!!
#Cinema
#Film
#NewMovies2026
#Cinema
#Film
#NewMovies2026
December 19, 2025 at 3:04 AM
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 3: Somebody (Me) Cum Blasted in the Pants!!!
#Cinema
#Film
#NewMovies2026
#Cinema
#Film
#NewMovies2026
My penis and my ass and my balls and my mom and my dad!
December 16, 2025 at 4:25 AM
My penis and my ass and my balls and my mom and my dad!
I have a big ruler that I bought from Home Depot, and you know what? I'm thinking I'm going to stick this bad boy directly up my asshole!
December 12, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I have a big ruler that I bought from Home Depot, and you know what? I'm thinking I'm going to stick this bad boy directly up my asshole!
I am THIS fucking close to shitting my pants! I WILL SHIT!
December 11, 2025 at 3:00 AM
I am THIS fucking close to shitting my pants! I WILL SHIT!
My Spotify Wrapped top song was "Please Stop Grabbing My Fat, Disgusting Ass -- It Hurts My Fat Ass When You DO THAT, You Rat Fuck Piece Of Shit!!!!"
🤣 Lmao! Not surprising! The life of a parent, I guess!
#SpotifyWrapped
🤣 Lmao! Not surprising! The life of a parent, I guess!
#SpotifyWrapped
December 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
My Spotify Wrapped top song was "Please Stop Grabbing My Fat, Disgusting Ass -- It Hurts My Fat Ass When You DO THAT, You Rat Fuck Piece Of Shit!!!!"
🤣 Lmao! Not surprising! The life of a parent, I guess!
#SpotifyWrapped
🤣 Lmao! Not surprising! The life of a parent, I guess!
#SpotifyWrapped
Grandpa just showed up dressed as the QAnon Shaman screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS! GUESS WHO HAS PRESENTS!?"
We might have to euthanize grandpa.
#family
We might have to euthanize grandpa.
#family
December 1, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Grandpa just showed up dressed as the QAnon Shaman screaming "MERRY CHRISTMAS! GUESS WHO HAS PRESENTS!?"
We might have to euthanize grandpa.
#family
We might have to euthanize grandpa.
#family
Everyone please go to SqueezeMyFatAss dot com (my grandson's new website!!!!!!)
#family
#support
#familyvibes
#family
#support
#familyvibes
December 1, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Everyone please go to SqueezeMyFatAss dot com (my grandson's new website!!!!!!)
#family
#support
#familyvibes
#family
#support
#familyvibes
Getting ready to kick the fuck out of my grandpa during the family Thanksgiving football game tomorrow!
November 27, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Getting ready to kick the fuck out of my grandpa during the family Thanksgiving football game tomorrow!
The wife is telling me not to shit my pants. I'm thinking that I'll still do it, though.
November 21, 2025 at 9:04 PM
The wife is telling me not to shit my pants. I'm thinking that I'll still do it, though.
November 19, 2025 at 8:44 PM
My balls smell like my ass and my ass smells like my balls!!!
November 17, 2025 at 5:53 AM
My balls smell like my ass and my ass smells like my balls!!!
Me (whispering): "What's your favorite part from Marvel Studios' Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania? My favorite part is when they go to Quantumania because it says in the title they are going to do that."
The person I'm having sex with: "What?"
The person I'm having sex with: "What?"
November 16, 2025 at 5:03 AM
Me (whispering): "What's your favorite part from Marvel Studios' Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania? My favorite part is when they go to Quantumania because it says in the title they are going to do that."
The person I'm having sex with: "What?"
The person I'm having sex with: "What?"
Me to a group of shoppers in Food Lion: "So here's the thing."
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
November 13, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Me to a group of shoppers in Food Lion: "So here's the thing."
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
*Pulls out a picture of my penis and ballsack painted and dressed up like Marvel Comics' The Thing.
#MCU
Watching Chicago Fire and seeing how many rubber bands I can stretch over my nutsack!
November 13, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Watching Chicago Fire and seeing how many rubber bands I can stretch over my nutsack!
My beloved uncle (Dennis "Shit Ass" Jenkins) just tried to suck my dick and played it off like he was going for a penny!!!!!
November 11, 2025 at 2:03 AM
My beloved uncle (Dennis "Shit Ass" Jenkins) just tried to suck my dick and played it off like he was going for a penny!!!!!
Maybe my hog was the one cranking ME all along!!!
November 10, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Maybe my hog was the one cranking ME all along!!!
Me: "Is this some kind of sex thing? Because I'm not doing this if it involves someone penetrating my feeble asshole!"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
November 4, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Me: "Is this some kind of sex thing? Because I'm not doing this if it involves someone penetrating my feeble asshole!"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
The Burger King cashier: "Jesus fucking christ, sir, will you just take your change?"
My grandpa showed up today for Thanksgiving. He's such a stupid fucking dumb dipshit.
November 3, 2025 at 2:22 AM
My grandpa showed up today for Thanksgiving. He's such a stupid fucking dumb dipshit.
If I'm such a "pervert," why do I always make time to tip the Walmart greeters before heading to the garden section to crank my dick?!?
November 2, 2025 at 3:34 AM
If I'm such a "pervert," why do I always make time to tip the Walmart greeters before heading to the garden section to crank my dick?!?
Pissing all over my house to make sure guests know that this is MY HOUSE
October 30, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Pissing all over my house to make sure guests know that this is MY HOUSE
Trying to think of ways to cut my dick off without alarming the wife!
October 28, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Trying to think of ways to cut my dick off without alarming the wife!
Playing the test video game consoles at Walmart and destroying a different part of the store every time I lose!!!!
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
October 28, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Playing the test video game consoles at Walmart and destroying a different part of the store every time I lose!!!!
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
#MondayVibe
#VideoGames
#Walmart
The wrinkles of my ballsack??????????!!!!!!!
October 26, 2025 at 11:56 PM
The wrinkles of my ballsack??????????!!!!!!!
The tip of my dick???????!!!!????
October 25, 2025 at 2:59 AM
The tip of my dick???????!!!!????