That's for me, dude.
November 15, 2025 at 1:46 AM
That's for me, dude.
Oooh. That was probably meant for me.
June 23, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Oooh. That was probably meant for me.
Maybe you're the imposter.
June 14, 2024 at 3:04 PM
Maybe you're the imposter.
You think you have it bad...
March 5, 2024 at 2:41 AM
You think you have it bad...
I wouldn't but I know somebody that would.
December 4, 2023 at 2:17 PM
I wouldn't but I know somebody that would.
The married life, sir.
July 28, 2023 at 5:10 AM
The married life, sir.
Captain, did you see any similarities with you and any of the characters from the movie?
July 27, 2023 at 8:23 PM
Captain, did you see any similarities with you and any of the characters from the movie?
Thank you for using an actual Slim Jim and not your slim jim sir. We don't want to get flagged again.
July 26, 2023 at 3:44 AM
Thank you for using an actual Slim Jim and not your slim jim sir. We don't want to get flagged again.
I shall get him fitted for a uniform and have a hollow log placed in his quarters, sir.
July 25, 2023 at 3:02 AM
I shall get him fitted for a uniform and have a hollow log placed in his quarters, sir.
Still waiting for the Spacer Quest with Zapp and Kif spinoff.
July 24, 2023 at 6:51 PM
Still waiting for the Spacer Quest with Zapp and Kif spinoff.
Sir, can we hire a social media director to be your photographer? I fear that my lack of a conventional skeleton makes it difficult for me to operate the camera.
July 23, 2023 at 11:40 PM
Sir, can we hire a social media director to be your photographer? I fear that my lack of a conventional skeleton makes it difficult for me to operate the camera.
You know what? Fuck you. *unslurms your McKenzie*
July 23, 2023 at 1:58 AM
You know what? Fuck you. *unslurms your McKenzie*
I'm most closely related to the sea cucumber. Sex for me is releasing my sperm in a body of water.
I need to get in a hot tub with the Mars Wongs.
I need to get in a hot tub with the Mars Wongs.
July 22, 2023 at 6:14 PM
I'm most closely related to the sea cucumber. Sex for me is releasing my sperm in a body of water.
I need to get in a hot tub with the Mars Wongs.
I need to get in a hot tub with the Mars Wongs.
Can I have a margarita, sir?
July 21, 2023 at 8:16 PM
Can I have a margarita, sir?
Would you like me to, um, buckle your belt for you, sir?
July 20, 2023 at 11:01 PM
Would you like me to, um, buckle your belt for you, sir?
@zapp.bsky.social are we gonna do this, skipper?
July 11, 2023 at 10:15 PM
@zapp.bsky.social are we gonna do this, skipper?
*sigh* thanks for your consideration and not holding the actions of my current employer against me.
June 29, 2023 at 8:05 PM
*sigh* thanks for your consideration and not holding the actions of my current employer against me.
Are you hiring? I don't like my boss.
June 29, 2023 at 7:02 PM
Are you hiring? I don't like my boss.
Would you like the lavender or cucumber-melon after balm, sir?
June 28, 2023 at 12:31 AM
Would you like the lavender or cucumber-melon after balm, sir?
You already destroyed the Titanic, sir.
June 22, 2023 at 5:08 PM
You already destroyed the Titanic, sir.
very well sir *sigh*
June 14, 2023 at 4:09 AM
very well sir *sigh*