I'm gonna blow everything up

I want to go lay down but my legs are not stable and i physically cannot get to my room with my chair in this house

Aweee da mochhhhi i petting her in spirit

Silly thing is i knowing you would never ! Stupid brain does not fully understand that i guess

Like i am going with a friend but she is a content creator and has her own shit to do and I'm slow as fuck in my chair and i don't wanna slow anyone down

Wait i think i did it omg

Real test will be taking it outside

Int if read pls

Long rant sorry

That spiraled into how hard it is to leave a cult and the aftermath feelings one usually goes through and . Yeowch. This was hard information to learn jfc

My reaction 👁👄👁
And processing how i view her with that on the backburner realizing. Uh. Yeah i kind of do and i really didnt realize that

And how to me that it sounded so very similar to the cult idea of "we dont have rules here. Yes we all follow these things and our leader would be dissapointed if we didnt, but we have no rules"

And my therapist straight up was like. Is it fair to say you view bm as a cult leader?

Like i was talking to her about how bm consistently told us growing up that we were allowed to "question our religion as long as we came back to christianity" and how when I actually tried to do that I was severly punished and had one of the worst encounters with her for it

Just got out of therapy... shoutout to my therapist for being great but man. The revelation that my bio mom's (bm) role in the family was so much more Cult leader than anything maternal.

Nyma is his first toxic relationship that makes him chase similar relationships and is why he doesnt see lotor's treatment of him while theyre dating to be out of the norm. Cheating is like lance's only real get out moment

Him and kathran shaking hands on partners so bad it fucks you up forever

Reading so many similarities to lance and his first relationship 🤝 coincedence her name also starts with N , i understanding it all