Jordan Beaumont Anderson
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jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Jordan Beaumont Anderson
@jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
130 followers 320 following 1.2K posts
Author of Letterboxd's #1 Review of Porky's. Writer/Designer/Dilettante. All your crying don't do no good. Come down off the cross, we can use the wood.
https://letterboxd.com/QuantumPotPie/
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jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c5mzzv
A ★★★½ review of Sisu: Road to Revenge (2025)
I simply will never tire of that silly little shimmy stuntguys do when they're getting riddled. Especially when the squibs are thick and meaty; like everybody's keeping bags of chef boyardee in their ...
boxd.it
December 17, 2025 at 6:15 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 17, 2025 at 6:13 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c4D54n
A ★½ review of Sarah Squirm: Live + in the Flesh (2025)
What if Sam Kinison had smaller tits and a full-body yeast infection?
boxd.it
December 16, 2025 at 1:13 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 16, 2025 at 1:11 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c4xr4x
A ★★ review of Aparna Nancherla: Hopeful Potato (2025)
Starts lukewarm and cools down from there. Pauses between each bit just long enough for all laughter to bleed away into anxious silence as if she's terrified that too much energy might snap the room l...
boxd.it
December 16, 2025 at 8:54 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 16, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Reposted by Jordan Beaumont Anderson
viperiumprime.com
#ArtAdventCalendar day 15

My Demon dtiys from August!
Illustration of a colorful gator-lion-dog creature, whose body is covered in geometric patterns. It’s running, its limbs all tangled up and its tongue lolled out the side of its jaws. It has a blue-purple-pink-white color scheme
December 15, 2025 at 2:03 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c3G9uB
A ★★½ review of Ella McCay (2025)
How old this girl supposed to be? 14? 47? Is she human? Why her peepers so big? Why does Woody have hair? Why does Kumail look like Handsome Squidward? Why these people act poor but have so much shit ...
boxd.it
December 15, 2025 at 9:17 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 15, 2025 at 9:15 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c3AWED
A ★★★½ review of Influencers (2025)
The Mildly Talented Miss Ripley. Pleasantly lurid whenever it's stabbing and fucking and Avery Kentis isn't blatantly lifting entire themes from Social Network. If you must plagiarize, maybe don't pic...
boxd.it
December 15, 2025 at 5:51 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c30pAr
A ★★★★½ review of Black Hawk Down (2001)
Jingo as a pair of Oakleys, biased as a tweet, grim as a strong punt in the cunt. America isn't gonna make it and it doesn't deserve to. Merry Fucking Christmas.
boxd.it
December 14, 2025 at 6:11 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 14, 2025 at 3:08 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
nasty brutish and short
December 14, 2025 at 2:12 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
fucking Michael Curtiz y'all
December 14, 2025 at 11:19 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 14, 2025 at 11:14 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 14, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Reposted by Jordan Beaumont Anderson
lilabrock.bsky.social
el instagram de herzog es una de las mejores cosas que me pasó en este último tiempo.
December 13, 2025 at 7:48 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
some day i'm going to disappear without a trace as one last gift to my wife
December 13, 2025 at 3:54 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Desperately trying to outline a script about a stripper named Fontanelle.
December 13, 2025 at 1:11 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
you text me at your peril
December 13, 2025 at 12:44 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
art school me was a real dick
December 13, 2025 at 10:23 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c1S9gP
A ★★★ review of The Running Man (2025)
On second viewing, much less bothered by the concluding betrayal of its principles but that was kinda like being mad at a sex-worker for monetizing the hot fucking they just did.
boxd.it
December 13, 2025 at 9:23 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 13, 2025 at 7:12 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c1bZLp
A ★★★★½ review of Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
[very David Letterman voice] Give me as many zooms on Josh O'Connor's face you got!
boxd.it
December 12, 2025 at 11:14 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/c19idZ
A ★★★½ review of The Dinner Plan (2025)
Visceral, arch, and Zach Cherry sings a little song to himself about cheese.
boxd.it
December 12, 2025 at 8:26 AM