Matt Skywalker
@jedi-adopted.bsky.social
He/him Recently undead collection of rare genetic conditions in a Trenchcoat and tasteful Western hat. Domestic supply Jedi. Cat dad.
So, I had a PET Scan today and was injected with 2 types of radioactive particles. Disappointingly, it did not give me the physique of Captain America, I don’t Hulk out when angry, and I don’t even glow in the dark!
This is some bullshit.🤬
This is some bullshit.🤬
July 21, 2023 at 10:26 PM
So, I had a PET Scan today and was injected with 2 types of radioactive particles. Disappointingly, it did not give me the physique of Captain America, I don’t Hulk out when angry, and I don’t even glow in the dark!
This is some bullshit.🤬
This is some bullshit.🤬
Reds break the losing streak.
July 20, 2023 at 1:36 AM
Reds break the losing streak.
My phone is doing obscene things. If anyone sees that I followed and unfollowed and followed again it’s the phone’s weird fuckery, not my executive function issues, I swear!
July 18, 2023 at 1:30 AM
My phone is doing obscene things. If anyone sees that I followed and unfollowed and followed again it’s the phone’s weird fuckery, not my executive function issues, I swear!
Fuck Elon Musk.
I tweet about the terroristic Moms4Liberty saying they need to be stopped and get a week in Twitmo. Meanwhile actual racists, domestic terrorists, and Nazis can apparently threaten anyone they want freely and openly.
Complete bull💩.
I tweet about the terroristic Moms4Liberty saying they need to be stopped and get a week in Twitmo. Meanwhile actual racists, domestic terrorists, and Nazis can apparently threaten anyone they want freely and openly.
Complete bull💩.
July 17, 2023 at 9:57 PM
Fuck Elon Musk.
I tweet about the terroristic Moms4Liberty saying they need to be stopped and get a week in Twitmo. Meanwhile actual racists, domestic terrorists, and Nazis can apparently threaten anyone they want freely and openly.
Complete bull💩.
I tweet about the terroristic Moms4Liberty saying they need to be stopped and get a week in Twitmo. Meanwhile actual racists, domestic terrorists, and Nazis can apparently threaten anyone they want freely and openly.
Complete bull💩.
It’s Monday. Go ‘way.
July 10, 2023 at 11:13 PM
It’s Monday. Go ‘way.
Reposted by Matt Skywalker
Last Monday night I was driving home and out of the blue something or someone walked right out in front of my car like it didn’t even see me. The moon was pretty full so I could see it looked kinda like a dog but on two legs? I swerved and missed it thankfully but I think it was an unawarewolf
July 10, 2023 at 10:14 PM
Last Monday night I was driving home and out of the blue something or someone walked right out in front of my car like it didn’t even see me. The moon was pretty full so I could see it looked kinda like a dog but on two legs? I swerved and missed it thankfully but I think it was an unawarewolf
Reposted by Matt Skywalker
Ever look at how a cat moves and think about which of our evolutionary ancestors went “Nah. Fuck being able to move like that. I’d rather have a big brain and lower back pain.”?
July 9, 2023 at 11:19 AM
Ever look at how a cat moves and think about which of our evolutionary ancestors went “Nah. Fuck being able to move like that. I’d rather have a big brain and lower back pain.”?
Ever look at how a cat moves and think about which of our evolutionary ancestors went “Nah. Fuck being able to move like that. I’d rather have a big brain and lower back pain.”?
July 9, 2023 at 11:19 AM
Ever look at how a cat moves and think about which of our evolutionary ancestors went “Nah. Fuck being able to move like that. I’d rather have a big brain and lower back pain.”?
“Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.”-Dark Helmet
This seems apropos of current times.
This seems apropos of current times.
July 7, 2023 at 9:43 PM
“Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.”-Dark Helmet
This seems apropos of current times.
This seems apropos of current times.
Whatever doesn’t kill me just further fuels my justifiable pessimism.
July 6, 2023 at 10:09 PM
Whatever doesn’t kill me just further fuels my justifiable pessimism.
There is NO way I’m going to Threads. WAY too easy over there for family, old classmates you hated, and employers to find you. I’m on social media for fun, not to have to censor myself to be “acceptable”. Fuck that.
July 6, 2023 at 7:38 PM
There is NO way I’m going to Threads. WAY too easy over there for family, old classmates you hated, and employers to find you. I’m on social media for fun, not to have to censor myself to be “acceptable”. Fuck that.
I have the cutest cat.
Fight me!
(And by “fight”, I mean show me your cat pics!)
Fight me!
(And by “fight”, I mean show me your cat pics!)
July 5, 2023 at 7:24 PM
I have the cutest cat.
Fight me!
(And by “fight”, I mean show me your cat pics!)
Fight me!
(And by “fight”, I mean show me your cat pics!)
“The building was on fire and it wasn’t my fault.”-The Dresden Files-Jim Butcher
"Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up."
Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett
Thief of Time - Terry Pratchett
July 5, 2023 at 6:58 PM
“The building was on fire and it wasn’t my fault.”-The Dresden Files-Jim Butcher
Quote skeet w/ pet pics to make everyone smile.
July 3, 2023 at 8:18 PM
Quote skeet w/ pet pics to make everyone smile.
Pro tip:
Never buy fireworks from a man missing fingers.
Never buy fireworks from a man missing fingers.
July 3, 2023 at 8:10 PM
Pro tip:
Never buy fireworks from a man missing fingers.
Never buy fireworks from a man missing fingers.
Guess Twitter’s fully dead. My timeline has loaded no new tweets for over 5 hours now.
Great job, Elon!
$44 billion just pissed away.
Great job, Elon!
$44 billion just pissed away.
July 2, 2023 at 2:46 AM
Guess Twitter’s fully dead. My timeline has loaded no new tweets for over 5 hours now.
Great job, Elon!
$44 billion just pissed away.
Great job, Elon!
$44 billion just pissed away.
I think it’s time to get the rifle and put ‘ol Twitter out of its misery.
July 1, 2023 at 8:40 PM
I think it’s time to get the rifle and put ‘ol Twitter out of its misery.
Musk is a goddamn moron.
I hope he manages to lose every last penny he has.
I hope he manages to lose every last penny he has.
July 1, 2023 at 6:27 PM
Musk is a goddamn moron.
I hope he manages to lose every last penny he has.
I hope he manages to lose every last penny he has.
Hmmmm…
Is this place cat-proofed?
Is this place cat-proofed?
July 1, 2023 at 4:41 PM
Hmmmm…
Is this place cat-proofed?
Is this place cat-proofed?
So..
looks like the aliens have landed in Vegas.
Because, hey, why not? Even aliens need a few days at the spa and a chance to lose a bunch of Galactic Credits at the tables…
https://fox8.com/news/las-vegas-family-makes-out-of-this-world-claim-after-witnesses-police-see-flash-in-the-sky/amp/
looks like the aliens have landed in Vegas.
Because, hey, why not? Even aliens need a few days at the spa and a chance to lose a bunch of Galactic Credits at the tables…
https://fox8.com/news/las-vegas-family-makes-out-of-this-world-claim-after-witnesses-police-see-flash-in-the-sky/amp/
Las Vegas family makes out-of-this-world claim after witnesses, police see flash in the sky
Las Vegas police body cam footage of a green flash across the sky is adding intrigue to a 911 call from a family claiming to see “non-human” beings after something crashed in their back…
fox8.com
June 8, 2023 at 11:10 PM
So..
looks like the aliens have landed in Vegas.
Because, hey, why not? Even aliens need a few days at the spa and a chance to lose a bunch of Galactic Credits at the tables…
https://fox8.com/news/las-vegas-family-makes-out-of-this-world-claim-after-witnesses-police-see-flash-in-the-sky/amp/
looks like the aliens have landed in Vegas.
Because, hey, why not? Even aliens need a few days at the spa and a chance to lose a bunch of Galactic Credits at the tables…
https://fox8.com/news/las-vegas-family-makes-out-of-this-world-claim-after-witnesses-police-see-flash-in-the-sky/amp/
Morning.
That time when we get to start doing the same shit all over again.
That time when we get to start doing the same shit all over again.
June 6, 2023 at 11:29 AM
Morning.
That time when we get to start doing the same shit all over again.
That time when we get to start doing the same shit all over again.
Kevin is watching the civility here with genuine surprise.
June 5, 2023 at 2:27 AM
Kevin is watching the civility here with genuine surprise.
When I told Gina Carano she was being a jerk by mocking Transgender people (this was before she outed herself as a TERF and anti-Semite and blew up her career by pissing off Disney)
What’s your favorite instance of a celebrity blocking you on Twitter?
May 7, 2023 at 7:08 PM
When I told Gina Carano she was being a jerk by mocking Transgender people (this was before she outed herself as a TERF and anti-Semite and blew up her career by pissing off Disney)