Jeffrey Machado
@jeffreymachado.bsky.social
Voice actor. Elearning and audiobooks are my thing. False binaries piss me off. Disneyland is my happy place.
Jesus. Every accusation really is a confession.
December 15, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Jesus. Every accusation really is a confession.
"Every 'no' vote will be to blame." So, if I say I'll shoot you unless you give me your wallet, and you don't, and I shoot you, you're to blame. Got it.
December 11, 2025 at 9:43 PM
"Every 'no' vote will be to blame." So, if I say I'll shoot you unless you give me your wallet, and you don't, and I shoot you, you're to blame. Got it.
Oh lord, poor Betty Boop. Probably not the renaissance she was hoping for.
December 9, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Oh lord, poor Betty Boop. Probably not the renaissance she was hoping for.
Yes, we've cured cancer, eliminated poverty, and achieved world peace. But we still don't let ugly people into Starfleet.
December 5, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Yes, we've cured cancer, eliminated poverty, and achieved world peace. But we still don't let ugly people into Starfleet.
Interesting choice of words. "...have the choice of the best wife." Not "attract," but "have the choice of." As if a wife is something to be shopped for.
November 14, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Interesting choice of words. "...have the choice of the best wife." Not "attract," but "have the choice of." As if a wife is something to be shopped for.
Well said, John.
November 8, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Well said, John.
Knew I should have made my password "Anothersuburbanfamilymorning."
November 8, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Knew I should have made my password "Anothersuburbanfamilymorning."
Everyone needs a Thneed, you Truffula Tree-hugger.
October 28, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Everyone needs a Thneed, you Truffula Tree-hugger.
It's easy when the writing's that good!
October 28, 2025 at 6:26 PM
It's easy when the writing's that good!
Great. Now, on top of everything else I have to do today, I have to reread The Deathbird. Thanks a ton.
October 6, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Great. Now, on top of everything else I have to do today, I have to reread The Deathbird. Thanks a ton.
"Of course, there goes your rank, there goes your future." And they laugh. We're in upside-down world.
September 30, 2025 at 6:43 PM
"Of course, there goes your rank, there goes your future." And they laugh. We're in upside-down world.
Right? Why stop at the foreskin? Just lop the whole Johnson off and reduce the risk to 0%.
August 15, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Right? Why stop at the foreskin? Just lop the whole Johnson off and reduce the risk to 0%.
Right?!? I don't get it when people approach relationships like they're buying a car. It's someone to love, not someone to own. (Also, how about focusing on the ways you can fulfill that person, rather than the ways they can fulfill you?)
August 5, 2025 at 2:28 AM
Right?!? I don't get it when people approach relationships like they're buying a car. It's someone to love, not someone to own. (Also, how about focusing on the ways you can fulfill that person, rather than the ways they can fulfill you?)
"I can't believe I didn't see this thing coming that, like, every science fiction writer for the last 80 years saw coming."
July 22, 2025 at 10:58 PM
"I can't believe I didn't see this thing coming that, like, every science fiction writer for the last 80 years saw coming."
Seriously. I just saw Superman, and at one point I thought, "How does Lex Luthor get all these people to commit heinous acts for him?" Then my next thought was, "Oh, yeah...Never mind, I get it." 😟
July 14, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Seriously. I just saw Superman, and at one point I thought, "How does Lex Luthor get all these people to commit heinous acts for him?" Then my next thought was, "Oh, yeah...Never mind, I get it." 😟
If you're making a list of all-time great character actors, Andy Serkis has to be near the top.
July 7, 2025 at 1:51 AM
If you're making a list of all-time great character actors, Andy Serkis has to be near the top.
I went to my first protest today. I'm celebrating all those people standing out on the corner. They make me proud to be an American.
July 4, 2025 at 8:33 PM
I went to my first protest today. I'm celebrating all those people standing out on the corner. They make me proud to be an American.
A stop-off point between the Bay area and someplace cool in Nevada. If that isn't the identity of Sacramento in one sentence, I don't know what is.
June 28, 2025 at 7:56 PM
A stop-off point between the Bay area and someplace cool in Nevada. If that isn't the identity of Sacramento in one sentence, I don't know what is.
"I'm upset because AI isn't writing the book I'm writing the way I would write it if I was actually writing it."
June 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
"I'm upset because AI isn't writing the book I'm writing the way I would write it if I was actually writing it."
Hey, you're gettin' plenty done. That's quality time right there!
June 10, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Hey, you're gettin' plenty done. That's quality time right there!
They forgot about that salute mighty quick.
June 5, 2025 at 2:17 AM
They forgot about that salute mighty quick.
Right. And Captain Crunch is just Quisp in square form. Not buying it!!
June 4, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Right. And Captain Crunch is just Quisp in square form. Not buying it!!
Updated lyrics to (Sittin' On) The Dock of The Bay.
June 4, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Updated lyrics to (Sittin' On) The Dock of The Bay.