On the flip side, sometimes I add pauses after a person talks before I start talking. Sometimes this is me counting to five after a person stops talking before I start talking. Sometimes the person continues their thought after 3 seconds. I learned this from the movie Frost Nixon.

I read an article/chapter in Harvard Business Review’s On Communication book that some people have a fast-talking habit and some have a slower-talking habit and it’s harder for the slower-talking folks to identify a pause that seems “long” enough in a fast conversation to add their thoughts.

Yes, I agree that the preemptive apology is a subconscious attempt to prevent criticism because my apology says “I know I did something wrong. No need to point that out because I’m pointing it out”

Yes, sometimes I raise my hand in fast-moving meeting conversations. It commits me to say wanted to say instead of changing my mind because doubt crept into my mind.

I resonate with this Superman/Clark Kent metaphor so much! Especially as someone who is hyper productive. If I use it, I will credit you 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

I love this Superman/Clark Kent metaphor so much! Is it yours? Or do you remember the source?

Thank you for reminding me of the power of my intentional silence. It’s the external manifestation of my internal pause to choose from a centered place

There is power in pausing and in cultivating a pausing habit. That’s where we can intentionally choose the next moment instead of reacting to our social conditioning.

Tom, you are a kind soul. Your presence exudes goodness and kindness. ❤️❤️❤️

Yes, there’s too much emphasis on talking and not enough on listening. Luckily listening is one of super powers. I’m sure it’s one of your too, Tom! 🌈💕💕🌈

Thank you so much, Tom, for enjoying my art and writing! I feel more comfortable than most folks at voicing my strengths and accomplishments. It was a habit I worked on over the years. 🌈🌈🌈🙏🙏💕

Will you clarify what you meant by “I’m expecting them to bother me AFTER their “apology?” I’d love to understand this perspective better. Thank you!!🙏🙏🙏

Yes, unpleasant people have stressful inner lives. That’s a compassionate reminder. Everyone is trying their best given their resources. Most people do not go through life aiming to create stress for others. 🌈🌈🌈

Thank you so much, dear Tom, for your support. I’ve only driven 4 times since 1/1/25. I’ll encourage myself to challenge myself to drive again this autumn. Doing scary makes us stronger and more resilient. 🌈🌈🌈🌈

Beautiful encouragement. Dear Tom, keep being YOU too, wonderful unique you. 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️

Very wise observation! I forget that other people are not like me and will not react the way I will. When the complaints and one-up-man ship starts, I start to exit the conversation. 🌈🌈🌈