Some people really don't know the difference between:

"I'm sorry."
and
"I'm sorry, but..."

One of these is not an apology.

New Idea - an AI chat bot that exclusively comes up with prompts for OTHER AI chat bots. What's the opposite of a singularity?

All water flows to the sea, rises to the clouds and rains yet again. Do not lament your time as a storm, but look forward to a day as morning dew.

I have a proposal. let's shorten Armor Class to "ass." then you can say "does a 24 hit your ass?"

Did you hear about the sad dog that owned a fruit stand? It was a melancholy.

Had a bit of a forced hiatus from DnD. Ended today. Full on afterglow from a session that went really well. There was drama, giggles, and of course a few times where the dice decided to tell a different story than anyone expected.

Some people think I steal my jokes from the internet. I don't, they are home groan.

I love RPGs, but I've also played other games, like Mario Kart. I enjoy being able to play a character like Luigi, and even if you are losing, and some other guy is in first place, there's a chance you find a blue shell, and can absolutely ruin that guys day. #blueshell

I felt energetic and like myself for the first time in maybe a year. What a nice evening.

Having an AI build a wonder of the world one turn before you is the Civilization equivalent of dropping the bagel you just spread cream cheese onto the floor.

And tonight, both these things happened to me.

Whew. Had a player death today for the first time in a while. It's always such a gut punch, but you know that without the threat of failure, success is so much less fulfilling. Also, while the rest of the table is reeling, you still need to tie a narrative bow on it.

I hope I did them justice.

I always ask my players for as many details as they can give me into their backstory. I *will* use this information to hurt you later, and paradoxically you will love me for it.

The pinnacle of being a dm is hearing one of your players solemnly explaining to another the lore you developed in the shower that morning while practicing goblin noises into the shower head.

#dnd

One of my favorite DM moments is when I was running a one-shot for my otherwise long term campaign players. They were getting near the end, and it was getting more dangerous. One player turns to the rest and says "Wait, this is a one shot, he doesn't have to let us all live!"

Only one made it out.

One of the hardest questions in gaming, especially TTRPGs, is difficulty. There is no save and reload at the tabletop, so a good DM must strive to achieve the perception of danger, that the stakes have possibly been raised, without accidentally wiping their poor hapless party.

When going gets tough...

Rogue: Okay but what if I steal his underpants?
Wizard: Okay but what if everything was on fire?
Paladin: Okay but what if I flex my muscles and pose like this?
Bard: Okay but what if *Waggles eyebrows seductively*
Druid: Okay but what if *turns into a cat*
#dndmemes

What the DM said: "Give me a perception roll."
What the DM actually said: "Give me a second to think about it."

Standard Issue Backstories for DnD Classes:

Warlock: I'm totally pretending not to be a warlock. I hope no one looks at my character sheet.
Rogue: A deal went wrong, and now I'm out for non-specific revenge.
Barbarian: What's a backstory?
Bard: No maidens, or TOO many maidens.
Druid: The Lorax

There is no greater feat of communication than when I meow at my cat and she replies in kind. I always nod sagely after thinking for a moment.