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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 4h

When I buy croutons I'll use them for like one salad and then just eat the rest right out of the bag and be all sad when they're all gone when I have my next salad

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

I like when food gets mixed together, I love salad in my mashed potatoes, I don't care, mix it up

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

If you don't like salad, fuck you!!! 🙂

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

I don't miss watching sports at all

Except Olympic curling

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

Apartment manager just brought me a giant plate of food

Yummy

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

My band, Fine, Whatever, are playing a show at Wouldn't You Like To Know at some point in the future

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

I never sighed into the Grand Canyon (sighs)

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

I can't even

But I can odd

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 5h

We all love needlessly sharpening a pencil until it's a tiny little unusable pencil

It's okay

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

The cardigan people should make pants

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

No matter how big the bowl I can finish a bowl of Chex before even one gets soggy

On a side note, fuck you, Rice Krispies

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

Buying tons of hoodies before they become illegal

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

Following Leto to every stop on the Tron press tour and asking him nothing but questions about Urban Legend

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

I'm not saying that you don't have any discernible taste and will clearly like anything, I'm just saying that admitting to liking The Dave Matthews Band makes it sound that way

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

What did they charge the girlfriend of the "founder of Antifa" with, girlfriending?

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

This nation cannot heal until they bring back all the discontinued flavors of Hostess pies

Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 6h

I hate people who hate dandelions, that's a red flag

They're aways control freaks

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

I can't think of a bean I don't like

I love all of them

They should have an all bean soup

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

I am totally trying, okay, that's why my head isn't in the oven right now

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

I now live on what my monthly budget for weed, cigarettes and coffee used to be and I try not to think about it too much because I'll cry

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

Glad Dolly is fine, it's totally okay if Gene Simmons dies though

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

Whenever my heat is working I think about how the five foot tall aggrieved maintenance guy Duck who's always full of rage and meth said the gas lines were full of holes and he thought it was sabotage and then later told me "I have access to all your pipes and gas lines in the basement"

Kewl

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

Maintenance guy Eddie said those three neighbors I had for three weeks who moved to two other apartments in the building already left after one week

Huh

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

If I feel bad all I have to do is go look outside on my skid row and I almost always see something so torturously heartbreaking that I immediately feel better about my own useless existence

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Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 7h

So annoying, like a sober eye twitch