Jesse Bercier
@jessolido.bsky.social
5’8”, but like in a cool way. [he/him]
Goldeneye (1995) - The film so nice Sean Bean dies twice!™
January 14, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Goldeneye (1995) - The film so nice Sean Bean dies twice!™
was it really love in any of my past relationships if they didn’t call me “Mr. Boombastic”? 🤔 much to consider
January 9, 2026 at 10:06 PM
was it really love in any of my past relationships if they didn’t call me “Mr. Boombastic”? 🤔 much to consider
participating in DRY JANUARY in that my face becomes flesh-tone $5 scratch & win card within the first hour of moisturizing
January 8, 2026 at 8:55 PM
participating in DRY JANUARY in that my face becomes flesh-tone $5 scratch & win card within the first hour of moisturizing
crossword puzzles in 2026 are very easy - you can just write an A in every square. because we are always screaming! so that’s the one upside to the horrors
January 7, 2026 at 3:10 PM
crossword puzzles in 2026 are very easy - you can just write an A in every square. because we are always screaming! so that’s the one upside to the horrors
honestly, the Beach Boys were a bunch of pricks for asking all that of Rhonda. tell ‘em to kick rocks! go surf while eating an ice cream cone, girl!
January 4, 2026 at 10:30 PM
honestly, the Beach Boys were a bunch of pricks for asking all that of Rhonda. tell ‘em to kick rocks! go surf while eating an ice cream cone, girl!
“I think I might be ill…”
[90s rap fan]: “HELL YEAH!”
“no, like *mentally* ill…”
[British 90s rap fan]: “HEOW YEH!”
[90s rap fan]: “HELL YEAH!”
“no, like *mentally* ill…”
[British 90s rap fan]: “HEOW YEH!”
December 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
“I think I might be ill…”
[90s rap fan]: “HELL YEAH!”
“no, like *mentally* ill…”
[British 90s rap fan]: “HEOW YEH!”
[90s rap fan]: “HELL YEAH!”
“no, like *mentally* ill…”
[British 90s rap fan]: “HEOW YEH!”
only 365 more days until next Christmas!
December 25, 2025 at 5:28 PM
only 365 more days until next Christmas!
this is very good, actually
December 24, 2025 at 5:03 PM
this is very good, actually
though it’s been said
many times, many ways
WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT?!?
many times, many ways
WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT?!?
December 24, 2025 at 4:23 PM
though it’s been said
many times, many ways
WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT?!?
many times, many ways
WHAT FUCKING DAY IS IT?!?
I have a favourite Dominos employee when the app tells me they’ve received and are making my order so things are either going very good or very bad at this point
December 19, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I have a favourite Dominos employee when the app tells me they’ve received and are making my order so things are either going very good or very bad at this point
had a stress dream the other night that I was asked to build an on-stage halfpipe for a holiday musical called “BOB CRATCHIT PRO SKATER” and it’s still got me shook
December 19, 2025 at 6:06 PM
had a stress dream the other night that I was asked to build an on-stage halfpipe for a holiday musical called “BOB CRATCHIT PRO SKATER” and it’s still got me shook
you’ve heard of “Elf on the Shelf” but you went to live shows for decades without earplugs, so you say “what??” to most things when they’re mentioned to you, so they said it again, and you said “I’m so sorry, one more time” so they repeated it and you said “hah! yep!” but you still didn’t get it
December 17, 2025 at 3:30 PM
you’ve heard of “Elf on the Shelf” but you went to live shows for decades without earplugs, so you say “what??” to most things when they’re mentioned to you, so they said it again, and you said “I’m so sorry, one more time” so they repeated it and you said “hah! yep!” but you still didn’t get it
my family & I were Nintendo fans since the late 80s, but I don’t know if I can continue to support the company after this*
*not using the song “Switchin’ to Glide” by The Kings for any of their promotion of the Switch 2 console
*not using the song “Switchin’ to Glide” by The Kings for any of their promotion of the Switch 2 console
December 16, 2025 at 7:23 PM
my family & I were Nintendo fans since the late 80s, but I don’t know if I can continue to support the company after this*
*not using the song “Switchin’ to Glide” by The Kings for any of their promotion of the Switch 2 console
*not using the song “Switchin’ to Glide” by The Kings for any of their promotion of the Switch 2 console
the real friends we made along the way were all those treasures we found at the end of our adventure. see you losers never, don’t write!
December 16, 2025 at 5:00 PM
the real friends we made along the way were all those treasures we found at the end of our adventure. see you losers never, don’t write!
today is the day I stop correcting typo’s in things I post and just start saying “it’s a reference to da share z0ne” whenever they’re noticed
December 15, 2025 at 9:42 PM
today is the day I stop correcting typo’s in things I post and just start saying “it’s a reference to da share z0ne” whenever they’re noticed
throughout the 80s & 90s you could roast the shit out of someone by sarcastically saying “smooth move, Ex-Lax” when they did something embarrassing. the pitchperson at that advertising agency is probably the closest anyone has even been to playing god, hey?
December 15, 2025 at 9:17 PM
throughout the 80s & 90s you could roast the shit out of someone by sarcastically saying “smooth move, Ex-Lax” when they did something embarrassing. the pitchperson at that advertising agency is probably the closest anyone has even been to playing god, hey?
follow my GUT?? the thing all those website banner ads want me to lose with one weird trick? NO THANKS
December 10, 2025 at 7:40 PM
follow my GUT?? the thing all those website banner ads want me to lose with one weird trick? NO THANKS
I’ve been off hinge for a couple months now, but there was a profile where someone used the prompt “I bet you can’t…” and replied with “I bet I can” and I STILL get my day ruined remembering it. the text version of a middle finger in every photo, what the fuck are we doing here people
December 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
I’ve been off hinge for a couple months now, but there was a profile where someone used the prompt “I bet you can’t…” and replied with “I bet I can” and I STILL get my day ruined remembering it. the text version of a middle finger in every photo, what the fuck are we doing here people
the one good thing to come from Chat GPT and AI is that it’s made it incredibly easy to peruse its defenders in my timeline and change the contact info for anyone whose number I have saved in my phone to “this fuckin’ pud”
December 10, 2025 at 5:20 PM
the one good thing to come from Chat GPT and AI is that it’s made it incredibly easy to peruse its defenders in my timeline and change the contact info for anyone whose number I have saved in my phone to “this fuckin’ pud”
haven’t been on stage doing standup in quite a while (maybe a year? more?). not that I was ever the BEST at it, but what if I completely forget how to be a hater?
December 8, 2025 at 6:15 PM
haven’t been on stage doing standup in quite a while (maybe a year? more?). not that I was ever the BEST at it, but what if I completely forget how to be a hater?
a business email/Teams message I’ll send in the apocalypse:
IT SEEMS TO BE AIRBORNE!
IT’S SPREADING RAPIDLY!
I’VE SEEN THE DEAD RISE
AND WALK AGAIN!!
WE NEED TO EVACUATE
THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!!
no worries if not, though 😚
IT SEEMS TO BE AIRBORNE!
IT’S SPREADING RAPIDLY!
I’VE SEEN THE DEAD RISE
AND WALK AGAIN!!
WE NEED TO EVACUATE
THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!!
no worries if not, though 😚
December 8, 2025 at 6:00 PM
a business email/Teams message I’ll send in the apocalypse:
IT SEEMS TO BE AIRBORNE!
IT’S SPREADING RAPIDLY!
I’VE SEEN THE DEAD RISE
AND WALK AGAIN!!
WE NEED TO EVACUATE
THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!!
no worries if not, though 😚
IT SEEMS TO BE AIRBORNE!
IT’S SPREADING RAPIDLY!
I’VE SEEN THE DEAD RISE
AND WALK AGAIN!!
WE NEED TO EVACUATE
THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!!
no worries if not, though 😚
the guy who decides the location & functionality of the buttons on Instagram tried a new hairstyle and nobody complimented it & now we’re all paying for it
December 7, 2025 at 9:07 PM
the guy who decides the location & functionality of the buttons on Instagram tried a new hairstyle and nobody complimented it & now we’re all paying for it
when things aren’t going their best I will often take comfort in the fact that I never got mistaken for Busy Ramone from 90s Canadian teen staple show “Ready or Not” but then I immediately remember what I looked like at 17
December 5, 2025 at 9:27 PM
when things aren’t going their best I will often take comfort in the fact that I never got mistaken for Busy Ramone from 90s Canadian teen staple show “Ready or Not” but then I immediately remember what I looked like at 17
I think the lead singer of every local band should have to load in 3 big moving boxes full of books to every gig. When they become famous enough to hire roadies they can leave one of the boxes at home or ask for help carrying them
November 29, 2025 at 4:59 PM
I think the lead singer of every local band should have to load in 3 big moving boxes full of books to every gig. When they become famous enough to hire roadies they can leave one of the boxes at home or ask for help carrying them
life has been going too well lately so I got Subway for lunch
November 28, 2025 at 7:37 PM
life has been going too well lately so I got Subway for lunch