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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️

@jewinacanoe.bsky.social

4.6K followers 1.8K following 2.2K posts

MANY POSTS ARE HUMOR AND NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY Proud Jew ✡️ memoir OUT FROM THE SHADOW published by Amsterdam Publishing. Repped by Bonnie Swanson of FinePrint Lit.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · Mar 18

Selected as Runner up for the best memoir at the New York Book Festival and best seller on Amazon.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2h

WE DID IT! WE KNOCKED OUT THE YANKEES.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 14h

My 37 year old single friend is also dyslexic. He messed up his profile on a dating app and now has women reaching out looking for a sugar daddy.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 14h

My dietitian indicated that there's not enough green in my diet so I went out and bought 4 different strains of weed.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 14h

Head shop staff' Can I help you with something?

Me: I'm looking for a coke spoon.

Head shop staff': Will a pepsi spoon be okay?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 14h

Amazon delivered the wrong glove for my Halloween costume so I'll be going as OJ Simpson instead of Michael Jackson because....the glove doesn't fit.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

My mental health isn't great but I have a good appetite.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

Multiple personalities? In this economy?

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

Last Halloween two Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door. I gave them KitKat bars. In return I got a lecture on pagan holidays.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 1d

I wish to also remember this event on October 7.

open.substack.com/pub/willieha...

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

Long time now.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

This is the Super Harvest Moon. Stunning and humbling.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I'm losing followers which could mean people have come to their senses, been incarcerated, sobered up, or passed away. Good morning to the rest of you!

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

I started another diet and am only up 4 lbs so I'm doing much better than my last attempt to lose weight.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

Me: Make my drink a double.

Server: You want a double Diet Coke?

Me: That's right.

Server: Two glasses of Diet Coke coming up.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

Last week autocorrect changed salad to tequila. I don't question why or how. But my diet now includes a liquid lunch.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

10/7 changed everything for world Jewry

open.substack.com/pub/willieha...

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 2d

No. Just an island beach resort.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 3d

I am no longer available as an emotional support Canadian. I understand this may cause some emotional discomfort for a while. I need to give my full attention to the Toronto Maple Leafs for the rest of the hockey season.

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Reposted by JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️

Miriam Likes Pie @miriamlikespie.bsky.social · 3d

These next couple of days are going to be difficult with 10/7 approaching. Please take good care of yourselves, because it is going to get nasty online with people celebrating dead Jews. If you have Jewish friends or care about the Jewish community, check in on them. #AmYisraelChai

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

The seven year old told me that when he grows up he wants a job where he only has to work one day a week. I told him to see if I can get a job there as well.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

I accidentally banged my head and now the voices in my head speak with a French accent.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

I've cut back on therapy and replaced it with cake. Other than the weight gain, I haven't noticed a difference.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

Everyone: There are no stupid questions?

Me: I've been putting on weight. Am I pregnant?

Everyone: ...with a few exceptions.

JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 4d

The supermoon is awesome tonight. Two days until the full moon.

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JewInACanoe.bsky.social 🎗️ @jewinacanoe.bsky.social · 5d

I woke up with anxiety this morning. 6 cups of coffee and 3 donuts should help.