I realized recently that I'm not fun funny, I'm mean funny.
Fun funny means people love everything you say in jest.
Mean funny is me telling you the truth, but in a funny way. People don't tend to love that.

It's honestly refreshing to see that Pantone is not a cultural meter. They are just simply another propagation of capitalism, and we shouldn't pay any attention. For me, the color of the year for 2026 is a lovely raspberry. Please let me know what your color of the year is!

Lina Khan is the hottest woman I've ever seen. No contest.

This is not a joke: Kim Kardashian is selling MERKINS.

If you pitched this year in a writer's room, you'd get straight up fired.

WHY are people not on their BEST GODDAMN BEHAVIOR at the airport?!

If Democrats want me to vote for them, they need to get in the dirt.

If Republicans go low, we need to go lower. The playing field is mud.

Question: are we able to opt out of ADHD for any period of time?

Please I need to know.

Born in Philly, raised in Michigan, but I still know that the last thing you want to do is mess with Philadelphians.
May this strike give every worker living wages and good benefits.

From Michigan: We see you LA. Thank you, and keep going. #solidarity #LA #protests #ICE

Pretty sure if hell exists on Earth, it's LinkedIn.

Are you even American if you haven't done field medicine on yourself because you can't afford to go to the hospital?

Do y'all think JD Vance used his time with the Pope as a confession and told His Holiness about the couches, and that's why Pope Francis joined the choir invisible on Easter?

I've always been me. Most people haven't loved that, because I'm a little weird. But I love that. I'm happy to be me.

Well, America will be nothing if not entertaining.