Conclusion: Internal motivation trumps external motivation at basically every turn, the workout itself is only half of most people's issues and having someone to keep you accountable (and that you're honest with) is invaluable.

personal trainer appointment can make a difference as long as you know how to spend that time properly.

Lastly? Support.

Listen, I have 1 person consistently clocking me for my eating habits (or lack thereof) and if it wasn't for them? I wouldn't have made this much progress. I also a physio therapist and a personal trainer and, while I know that isn't accessible for everyone? Even just 1

My goal? To get to 75kg within year 2. I *could* get there by just eating junk food but like, that's not the point, nor the motivation, nor the goal? Also, BMI is largely bs and a miniscule indicator of where you're at. Get a body comp analysis instead, way better and tells you way more.

and not half assing the workout because of said ass feeling.

The second thing is, working out is like, 50% of it. The rest is food and whatever else you're dealing with. And to not slip up in either area? You need an unshakable foundation and a very clear goal.

I've basically conditioned myself to go and crush it no matter how shit I feel (within reason, I don't go if I'm sick or tone down the intensity if my body decides to fuck me), but consistency is unfortunately the key. Actually showing up even if you feel like ass

Changbin, Chan, my PT, and my friends going "oooooo :o" whenever they haven't seen me in a while 💀

Do I have bad days/periods? Yep. I'm chronically depressed and have ptsd and autism, go figure, but the spite usually overrides that cause, why would I not go, and become smaller again?

This whole gym thing for me is a giant fuck you to my mother and every man that ever did shit to me he should be in jail for, and thay foundation is.. about 99% unshakable, hence why I stick to it. My external reasonings that *help* but are just, nice accessories?

Now internal reasoning? Much better imo. Cause it it comes purely from inside? Be it spite or anger or a real reason to change long term? Way more sustainable cause your compass doesn't change as easily. My reasonings? Spite and anxiety.

Cause unless you have the community support to keep you accountable? External reasons can change all the time and it's waaay easier to just, slip and drop it because the reasoning wasn't clear enough (aka "for a partner" or "for xyz health reason" etc) cause once you reach that goal.. then what.

If it's external? I mean, pick whatever, but it needs to enough of a reason for you to actually stick with it short or long term (when I say short I mean 6 months minimum if you're only looking for a beach body or whatever). I personally think external motivation is.. the worse of the two.

I'm not gonna come at you with the woo-woo "it's all in your head, just do it" whatever bs cause that didn't work for me. First, figure out if your externally or internally motivated cause the approach is gonna change.

As someone that has ED experience as well it's like.. find something you actually *enjoy* eating/drinking. I can't do oatmeal so I rather blend that shit up in a shake. This shake has also evolved from very sad beginnings to what it is now. Do whatever works for you man idk

This what I mean when I say protein shake. Not whatever sad mix of water or just milk and protein powder people do