How in the world does knocking boots mean sex? How were they doing it?
July 4, 2025 at 8:40 PM
How in the world does knocking boots mean sex? How were they doing it?
Is no one thinking about how the scammers who call me 27 times a day will be affected by cutting Medicaid 😢 how will they get me to activate hulu gift cards in a Walgreens parking lot now??
July 1, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Is no one thinking about how the scammers who call me 27 times a day will be affected by cutting Medicaid 😢 how will they get me to activate hulu gift cards in a Walgreens parking lot now??
Routinely watching the andy milonakis show in 2006 was a red flag fr, such folk all have ankle monitors now.
June 18, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Routinely watching the andy milonakis show in 2006 was a red flag fr, such folk all have ankle monitors now.
Venmo is fr my favorite social media. Nothing beats seeing 2 people that you have absolutely no clue how they know each other sending each other cash with like "🤢why was it sticky🤢" as the memo
June 10, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Venmo is fr my favorite social media. Nothing beats seeing 2 people that you have absolutely no clue how they know each other sending each other cash with like "🤢why was it sticky🤢" as the memo
You still have your bejeebers, mine were scared out of me a long time ago
June 2, 2025 at 7:18 PM
You still have your bejeebers, mine were scared out of me a long time ago
Today's episode of schemes I'm rabbit holing into is becoming the ceo of a healthy insurance company, invest heavily in creating dog shelters (A for the optics of getting dogs off the street) and B to create a service where finger prick blood samples are sent to the dogs to sniff for diseases
May 12, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Today's episode of schemes I'm rabbit holing into is becoming the ceo of a healthy insurance company, invest heavily in creating dog shelters (A for the optics of getting dogs off the street) and B to create a service where finger prick blood samples are sent to the dogs to sniff for diseases
Until the day I die my biggest pet peeve will always be when you need a photoshop file from someone at work and then you get it and it's inexplicably 3.3 gigabytes and just looks like this
April 29, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Until the day I die my biggest pet peeve will always be when you need a photoshop file from someone at work and then you get it and it's inexplicably 3.3 gigabytes and just looks like this
Aw fuck am I gonna be an ancestor someday? Is my ghost going to be tasked with protecting my great grandson if he takes like a greyhound bus to Cleveland or something?
April 23, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Aw fuck am I gonna be an ancestor someday? Is my ghost going to be tasked with protecting my great grandson if he takes like a greyhound bus to Cleveland or something?
Actually kinda shocked the worst kind of chocolate is ice cream how'd they fuck that up?
April 22, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Actually kinda shocked the worst kind of chocolate is ice cream how'd they fuck that up?
Worst part about long curly hair is I walk out the shower looking like the unsafe for babies part of a toy manual
April 9, 2025 at 3:38 PM
Worst part about long curly hair is I walk out the shower looking like the unsafe for babies part of a toy manual
We've let indigo fly under the radar for wayyy too long. A whole 7th of the rainbow's colors?? It's just there so that Roy g biv is pronounceable. Mf Vowel purple 😤
March 26, 2025 at 6:27 AM
We've let indigo fly under the radar for wayyy too long. A whole 7th of the rainbow's colors?? It's just there so that Roy g biv is pronounceable. Mf Vowel purple 😤
Normal business contact page:
Here's our phone # and email if you'd like to send us a message
Millenial businesses:
Dig what you see fam?👀
go ahead and drop us a line 😎👉
And don't forget to peep the socials🤳🤙
*last post November 2022
Here's our phone # and email if you'd like to send us a message
Millenial businesses:
Dig what you see fam?👀
go ahead and drop us a line 😎👉
And don't forget to peep the socials🤳🤙
*last post November 2022
March 19, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Normal business contact page:
Here's our phone # and email if you'd like to send us a message
Millenial businesses:
Dig what you see fam?👀
go ahead and drop us a line 😎👉
And don't forget to peep the socials🤳🤙
*last post November 2022
Here's our phone # and email if you'd like to send us a message
Millenial businesses:
Dig what you see fam?👀
go ahead and drop us a line 😎👉
And don't forget to peep the socials🤳🤙
*last post November 2022
Will never contact a company if want me to "drop them a line"
March 19, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Will never contact a company if want me to "drop them a line"
I met my younger self for coffee ☕️
He arrived 15 minutes late, I was early and got us a table 😇
He won't shut up ohhhh my fucking god he's showing me dumb youtube poops and is trying to convince me a cannon that shoots discount hot dogs on parachutes into baseball stadiums is a good business idea
He arrived 15 minutes late, I was early and got us a table 😇
He won't shut up ohhhh my fucking god he's showing me dumb youtube poops and is trying to convince me a cannon that shoots discount hot dogs on parachutes into baseball stadiums is a good business idea
March 14, 2025 at 4:33 PM
I met my younger self for coffee ☕️
He arrived 15 minutes late, I was early and got us a table 😇
He won't shut up ohhhh my fucking god he's showing me dumb youtube poops and is trying to convince me a cannon that shoots discount hot dogs on parachutes into baseball stadiums is a good business idea
He arrived 15 minutes late, I was early and got us a table 😇
He won't shut up ohhhh my fucking god he's showing me dumb youtube poops and is trying to convince me a cannon that shoots discount hot dogs on parachutes into baseball stadiums is a good business idea
I don't trust a single person who's house is blurred on Google maps. Tin foil hat activity.
March 9, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I don't trust a single person who's house is blurred on Google maps. Tin foil hat activity.
Official upper management going through mid life crisis car of the:
90s: Chrysler Sebring
00s: Mazda miada
10s: ford f-150
20s: cybertruck
90s: Chrysler Sebring
00s: Mazda miada
10s: ford f-150
20s: cybertruck
March 6, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Official upper management going through mid life crisis car of the:
90s: Chrysler Sebring
00s: Mazda miada
10s: ford f-150
20s: cybertruck
90s: Chrysler Sebring
00s: Mazda miada
10s: ford f-150
20s: cybertruck
Me crying and shaking: "Password163$" ??
Work laptop: you absolute buffoon 🤣🤣 nothing previous moron, you used that one in 2008, think of a new one troglodyte 😂😂
Work laptop: you absolute buffoon 🤣🤣 nothing previous moron, you used that one in 2008, think of a new one troglodyte 😂😂
February 13, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Me crying and shaking: "Password163$" ??
Work laptop: you absolute buffoon 🤣🤣 nothing previous moron, you used that one in 2008, think of a new one troglodyte 😂😂
Work laptop: you absolute buffoon 🤣🤣 nothing previous moron, you used that one in 2008, think of a new one troglodyte 😂😂
3 or 4 flies have returned to each shower in the gym, nature is healing 🏞
February 1, 2025 at 11:46 PM
3 or 4 flies have returned to each shower in the gym, nature is healing 🏞
Keep florida in the water supply?? 🤣 yeah ok libs, woke yucky mouse not nallowed in my copper pipes
January 26, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Keep florida in the water supply?? 🤣 yeah ok libs, woke yucky mouse not nallowed in my copper pipes
There is NOTHING people who never come to the gym love more than stopping by on holidays to gaslight themselves into believing they've got a grind don't stop just bc it's christmas eve 😤 mindset
December 26, 2024 at 11:58 PM
There is NOTHING people who never come to the gym love more than stopping by on holidays to gaslight themselves into believing they've got a grind don't stop just bc it's christmas eve 😤 mindset
Don't talk to me if your bitmoji is still wearing shorts 😒
December 3, 2024 at 7:09 AM
Don't talk to me if your bitmoji is still wearing shorts 😒
Babe please, I want to be your lover but I do not want to do this part I feel like it's gonna fucking hurt
November 26, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Babe please, I want to be your lover but I do not want to do this part I feel like it's gonna fucking hurt
Expand your vocabulary Ronan Farrow
November 25, 2024 at 10:20 PM
Expand your vocabulary Ronan Farrow
Main blue sky character: hey watch where you're going
Me joining the app: oh sorry kid I just-
Audience: 👏👏🥳🥳😲😲👏👏👏
Me: 🙂↕️
Me joining the app: oh sorry kid I just-
Audience: 👏👏🥳🥳😲😲👏👏👏
Me: 🙂↕️
November 15, 2024 at 3:28 AM
Main blue sky character: hey watch where you're going
Me joining the app: oh sorry kid I just-
Audience: 👏👏🥳🥳😲😲👏👏👏
Me: 🙂↕️
Me joining the app: oh sorry kid I just-
Audience: 👏👏🥳🥳😲😲👏👏👏
Me: 🙂↕️