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JonZoidberg

@jonzoidberg.xyz

54K followers 49K following 6.2K posts

#Bluedot in a red sea, husband, dad to kids and fur kids. Nurse Anesthetist. Amateur baker and canner. Blue crab of the resistance! Trans rights are human rights.🏳️‍⚧️ Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · Nov 20

Doing my part to BlueSky one Alt Text at a time. It's not hard to do and it shows you believe in inclusivity. Go into your settings and check the box so you are reminded when posting pictures to add alt text.

a cartoon character stands in front of a house that looks like a conch shell

Alt: a cartoon character, John Zoidberg from Futurama,stands in front of a house that looks like a conch shell

media.tenor.com

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 1h

I want to know who was in Stephen Miller's ear and freaked out when he said Trump had "plenary authority."

Who is handling the handler?

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 12h

Meal Team 6 has touched down in Chicago. Portillo's and Lou Malnati's have gone to Defcon 4.

ABC News Follow 2h

Members of the Texas National Guard have arrived in Illinois, according to sources familiar with their whereabouts and video taken of them at an Army Reserve training facility in a Chicago suburb.

The Texas National Guard boarded a military plane on Monday afternoon as state and city leaders in Illinois were holding a news conference asking them to stay away from Chicago.

Read more: https://abcnews.visitlink.me/HwsvkL

Many of the guardsmen are very overweight.

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 23h

Cause of Death: Severe burn.

Ben Shapiro @benshapiro 1d If you're at a dinner and somebody introduces himself as "Dr. Smith," you'd be rather upset to learn that he had a doctorate in musicology if you were to suffer a stroke at the table.

Evan Williams @evanwilliams... 36s

If you were at a dinner party and someone introduced themselves as "Ben Shapiro," you'd be rather upset to be at that dinner party.

-Dr. Evan Williams, DMA Music Composition

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 12h

I'll take "Why Canadians shouldn't travel to the US" for $250, Alex.

www-hindustantimes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.hind...

US adds $250 Visa Integrity Fee: Why travel will cost more for Canadians now

Canadians traveling to the US may face higher visa costs and tougher border checks under a new $250 fee aimed at tightening compliance rules.

www-hindustantimes-com.cdn.ampproject.org

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 22h

Consulting firm Deloitte is refunding the Australian government almost $300,000 because they found their reports were rife with AI errors, fake court quotes, and other bullshit.

AI is being used for so many things it never should. Like running our damn government.

apnews.com/article/aust...

Deloitte to partially refund Australian government for report with apparent AI-generated errors

Deloitte Australia will partially refund the Australian government for a report filled with apparent AI-generated errors.

apnews.com

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 23h

Bondi to testify to the Senate about politics infiltrating the Department of "Justice."

What the hell for? Everyone knows there is no independence. Prosecutions start or end at the president's say.

The lawfare is historic, unprecedented, and never ending.

apnews.com/live/donald-...

Live updates: Attorney General Bondi faces Senate over political pressure on Justice Department

Attorney General Pam Bondi will face lawmakers amid concerns over the political influence of a Justice Department that has charged one of President Donald Trump's longtime foes.

apnews.com

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 23h

Cause of Death: Severe burn.

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 23h

Oof.

Fuck Netanyahu and the Zionists!

A comic by cyanide and happiness with men with rifles pointing a gun at a baby and saying any first words?

Captioned: IDF be like

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 23h

Denton, Texas drawing attention to the party of sex offenders and deviants.

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 1d

Supreme Court to Laura Loomer:

We'd cancel you too, asshole.

www.cnn.com/2025/10/06/p...

Supreme Court brushes aside Laura Loomer lawsuit against social media companies | CNN Politics

The Supreme Court declined Monday to take up an appeal from Laura Loomer, the prominent far-right influencer and ally of President Donald Trump who sued social media companies for yanking her off thei...

www.cnn.com

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 1d

Yes, but in MAGA spin land it's a clean slate and proof of vindictive prosecution.

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 1d

Taco couldn't get his pet court to do his dirty work for him, so now he will have to pardon his co-conspirator before she rats on him. Of course, if she does, she will turn into a perjured liar again.

www-nbcnews-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.nbcn...

Supreme Court rejects Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell’s appeal of her criminal conviction

Maxwell was convicted for her role in recruiting and grooming girls who were sexually abused by Jeffrey Epstein.

www-nbcnews-com.cdn.ampproject.org

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 2d

I'd buy a Judge Immergut action figure right about now.

She is my hero!

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JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

When the Regime says it wants equal representation in college faculty, what they mean is they want incel factories like whatever the fuck George Mason University is doing.

Tyler Cowen is 63 years old. Read what he wrote about AI actress Tilly Norwood.

Then read it again.

My Favorite Actress Is Not Human

Tilly Norwood doesn't need a hairstylist, has no regrettable posts, and if you wish to see a virgin on- screen, this is one of your better chances. That's because she's Al.

By Tyler Cowen

10.02.25 -Tyler Cowen Must Know

Tyler Cowen is Holbert L. Harris Professor of Economics at George Mason University and also faculty director of the Mercatus Center. He received his PhD in economics from...

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · Nov 20

a cartoon character stands in front of a house that looks like a conch shell

Alt: a cartoon character, John Zoidberg from Futurama,stands in front of a house that looks like a conch shell

media.tenor.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

This asshole is attempting to criminalize constitutionally protected free speech.

I feel like burning a flag.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

Add alt text

To ICE, Border Patrol, Law Enforcement, and all U.S. Military: As per my August 25, 2025 Executive Order, please be advised that, from this point forward, anybody burning the American Flag will be subject to one year in prison. You will be immediately arrested. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

5 ReTruths 32 Likes

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Damn dude, I salute the spirit, but this is so not safe.

And stealing is wrong. He should have replaced it with a white flag of surrender.

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Both of the men in this picture are adjudicated sex offenders.

The deviant Right.

Robert Morris, Texas megachurch pastor, and Trump.

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Coming soon to an authoritarian regime near you:

www.reuters.com/world/africa...

Tunisian sentenced to death for Facebook posts criticising president

A Tunisian man has been sentenced to death on charges of insulting the president and assaulting state security through posts on social media, the head of the Tunisian League for Human Rights and his lawyer said on Friday.

www.reuters.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

The watchdog group Public Citizen has filed a Hatch Act lawsuit against agencies blaming Democrats for the shutdown on official government websites.

Excellent. This shit should be illegal.

thehill.com/homenews/adm...

Watchdog group files Hatch Act complaint over federal agencies blaming Democrats for shutdown

A watchdog group has filed a Hatch Act complaint against two government agencies that added banners to their websites blaming the government shutdown on Democrats. Public Citizen filed the complain…

thehill.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Wow. Anduril and Palantir's new comm system for the US Military reportedly 'could allow adversaries to gain “persistent undetectable access."' Fuck me.

Might as well just keep running our ops through Signal chats.

sherwood.news/markets/an-i...

An internal Army memo reportedly says Anduril and Palantir’s battlefield communication system has deep flaws

Filled with “fundamental security problems,” the system should reportedly be treated as “very high risk,” per the memo....

sherwood.news

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Marge is too stupid to see the bigger picture: The White House ordered this shutdown to blame it on Democrats, and to make cuts they can blame on Democrats.

Getting the government running again gets Epstein voted on, it gets oversight running again.

www.rawstory.com/government-s...

'Grow a spine!' MAGA lawmaker presses Senate GOP to use 'nuclear option' in shutdown fight

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) slammed Republican Senate leadership Friday for its refusal to utilize a filibuster workaround in the party’s squabble with Democrats amid the ongoing government shu...

www.rawstory.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

We are daring Venezuela to declare war on us now. We have the ability to stop and search these boats. Instead, we destroy them from afar and fabricate a justification to do so.

What the hell are we doing?

apnews.com/article/trum...

Hegseth announces latest strike on boat near Venezuela he says was trafficking drugs

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth says he ordered another strike on a small boat he accused of carrying drugs in the waters off Venezuela, expanding what the Trump administration has declared is an “arme...

apnews.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

False Premise: This opinion piece assumes an actor with competence, wherewithal, and empathy. FOTUS has none of these.

It's an excuse to further the goals of his handlers and more distractions to flood the zone so they can do crimes. Period.

www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnb...

Opinion | Trump doesn't have to fire federal workers in a shutdown. He wants to.

If previous government shutdowns didn’t result in massive layoffs, then there’s no reason this one should.

www.msnbc.com

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Reposted by JonZoidberg

JonZoidberg @jonzoidberg.xyz · 4d

Taco threatened to move World Cup games away from cities that don't kiss his ass, but FIFA says he doesn't have the authority.

I look forward to 2 of the most corrupt organizations on the planet destroying each other. Have at it, assholes.

www.msnbc.com/top-stories/...

FIFA official throws cold water on Trump’s World Cup threat

After Trump said he might move matches out of liberal-led cities because of crime, a FIFA leader said such decisions rest solely with the soccer body.

www.msnbc.com

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