When I was a child, there was a toy shop that put ‘Only 13 weeks’ in whitewash on its window in September, and then counted down. I couldn’t understand why the adults grumbled so much about it, but now I do.

Usually I would be with you on this. But my daughter is getting married in December, and is planning decorations for the reception, so she’s actually quite grateful for this kind of thing at the moment.

I don’t think you should be expected to for now. You can always do something for them at a later stage as and when you can.

Is there something you could offer them instead of a funeral (thinking particularly of her brothers)?

A lingering psychological/spiritual ache - a kind of raw edge, something left unfinished. I am not sure that‘closure’ is quite the right word, but certainly a lack of something.

As a priest, I have seen pastoral problems if there is no marking of a life, but it can be done in ways other than a traditional funeral (particularly if religious faith isn’t involved).

The funeral (if there is one) is primarily for the living, and what is appropriate depends on your personal circumstances. Will you and those close to your mum miss the ritual marking of her life and death, or will you do it in another way? /1

I’m loving reliving our own recent Northumberland holiday through seeing your photos.

Most if not all consecrations happen in York or Canterbury. Malcolm will be welcomed in Wakefield Cathedral in due course.

I’m sure you styled it out!

Happy Easter to you!