The grating of cheese is something we haven't yet mastered as a species.

Many thin tomato slices are better than scant thick tomato slices.

Sometimes I don't drink. But then I drink, and I'm like "Yes."

If you can't scoop the poop, don't clog the dog.

As a pedestrian, I try to cultivate a persona that's approachable enough that old ladies will be OK asking me for directions, but distraught enough that the sidewalk CAMH people won't want to bother asking me for a donation.

what means "jinglehorse"

I'm a mirepoix stan.

If I ever kill myself it'll be soundtracked by contemporary pop Christmas music

Wow social media may actually not be tha shiznit