"No, it's based! I'm based!" I cry, shielding myself from their blows. "Please! I can explain!"

But it's too late. My funny joke had insufficient context and was worded in a way that allowed misinterpretation. The wolves circle, eyeing me hungrily. They lick their bloody chops. Food for carrion.

Computer fan started LOUDLY RATTLING all a sudden, in what some experts are calling a "menacing portent of things to come" (having to buy a new computer)

Sometimes, when we discuss media, we have to be content with answering the question of "why does/doesn't this thing happen?" with "because if it did/didn't, there would be no story".

Few people understand this concept as little as the folks on the /r/asksciencefiction subreddit

THEY LOBOTOMIZED MY GIRL (they reinstalled the governor module)

Saying "i can get up to 7.9 mph now" sounds incredibly nothing, I know, but you must understand this is more than double the normal top speed. This is going to revolutionize me accidentally going through a wall one day

THEY REMOVED THE SPEED GOVERNOR ON THE FORKLIFT YO I'M FUCKING ZOOMING

I clock into work somewhat grouchy, a little tired, kinda crabby.

My coworker clocks in at the same time as me, experiencing some kind of barbarian rage at the thought of doing his job (relatable, but c'mon man, you've been here two minutes)

Truly, other people's bad moods are a balm to your own.

First few posts on a new social media is like breakin' in a new pair a shoes

Uncomfortable. Gives ya blisters. Not worth remembering.