I'm so fucking lazy. My complaints recently are that it takes too long to get to her place. I said the same stuff about the girlfriend that died.

Guess this is where I post all my crap. I'm 54 and a virtual widower (we'd been together for 12 years but never married). Having a crush on someone when you're this old seems really odd.

It has been a good week so far. I brought her car to my garage and had a major breakdown thinking she was home early when I walked out the next day. Plus I haven't had to deal with the relatives all week.

So I don't forget, my 3 deep memories of my ex are 1) the amazing first kiss at that English Beat show, 2) that sneaky kiss where she worked, and 3) the kiss at the end of our walk to the river.

I'm having a very Grosse Point Blank night. The one that got away shit.

The dog. A deep just like me.

I'm pretty sure none of my friends follow me here and I need to vent. My girlfriend died a month ago and I just want a place to gripe.