Realization: National Treasure is Da Vinci Code Jr.

My gravestone is probably going to say, “You have to process the potato.”

Why don’t any snack food brands sell bags of all folded kettle-cooked chips? What a missed opportunity. I’d pay a premium for that!

I’m now a Clear truther. I think TSA is purposefully inflating security wait times at airports to benefit a private company

Deion Sanders at every Browns game:

This year, instead of bringing donuts to the office for my birthday, I’m bringing garlic bread

AI has ruined #AprilFoolsDay

Trying to research NVIDIA and understand what they do but it’s a never-ending rabbit hole of products like “NVIDIA Albert C-3PO™️ powered by NVIDIA Galaxyverse™️ powered by NVIDIA SPQR™️ powered by NVIDIA Cloud KPI™️ powered by NVIDIA T-800™️ powered by NVIDIA Quantum™️ powered by NVIDIA Disrupt-360™️…”

Today’s soundtrack is “Twin Peaks”

I just Googled “Can I compost cicadas?”

(In case you’re wondering, the answer appears to be yes.)

ASIAN FRIED CHICKEN POWER RANKINGS

Ranking the fried chicken I had in each of the Asian countries I’ve visited.

1. South Korea
2. Taiwan
3. Japan

So far today, I’ve been asked if I’m Swiss, British and Italian ??????????

It’s truly amazing how Nerds Gummy Clusters combine two mid-/low-tier candies into something that’s truly greater than the sum of their parts.