Why am I so unlovable. Why is everything I do so fucking stupid. Why can't I just be less broken and happy. Why can't I keep people in my life.

Why do I grieve a future that never lived at all
I think i can live multiple lives
But my life is here
Now

I love because I am
I care because I am
And when I am, I know I will do all I can to achieve a life that means something to me, and me alone

Why is just always a constant battle to choose to live

You would fight the world for me
But I controlled only a small portion of it all
I begged and screamed and pleaded with the skies above and the oceans below,
Foreshadowing a fall that you said time and time again would not come. (1)

Being perceived for me is a constant play
One which i must perform for you
Display my talents,
And when the curtains fall,
I am nothing more than the last hours enjoyment, a period of time you'll seen forget. (1)

Keeping it real for a second, I really hope no one asks about my scars at work :/

I think the words to describe, the feelings I feel, will be lost to the black hole that sits in the center of our galaxy
And when the stars fade away
And the sun swallows our world
Maybe then I'll know what it all means
But tonight the haze falls again
And the coolness of the air cuts me to ribbons

If i could cut myself open there wouldn't be much to see
All i ever am, and ever was, is a figment of perception, made up of your moods on the day to day
And my past is my present, my present my future, and the world keeps spinning because Ill be the same

Time is reflective of the healing you've faced, and the trauma you carry.
Then why is it now that I've made it my mission to blow it all away? (1)

I wake up on a cycle
Get up, go pee, gone to bed.

Night after night,
Dream after dream.

But the night mirror so calls me,
To reflect on my proportions
I yank and pull, at the molded clay. (1)

Laying myself out, was a means to end all
And I'm not one to praise myself after
Death upon death
Slice upon slice
Butterfly turned back to its cocoon,
Because even it's infancy would be too easy a life (1)