Jupiter2012
@jupiter2012.bsky.social
You may know me from the same name on the bird app. Gay. Kentuckian. Cocktail nerd.
Perks of being my nephew: New vocabulary words.
I have a bad tendency for speaking too formally. So when the 3 year old nephew handed me a used napkin and I replied, “I am not your trash receptacle” he first cackled. But now, he says “Reskepticle”
I have a bad tendency for speaking too formally. So when the 3 year old nephew handed me a used napkin and I replied, “I am not your trash receptacle” he first cackled. But now, he says “Reskepticle”
December 14, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Perks of being my nephew: New vocabulary words.
I have a bad tendency for speaking too formally. So when the 3 year old nephew handed me a used napkin and I replied, “I am not your trash receptacle” he first cackled. But now, he says “Reskepticle”
I have a bad tendency for speaking too formally. So when the 3 year old nephew handed me a used napkin and I replied, “I am not your trash receptacle” he first cackled. But now, he says “Reskepticle”
Straight white men (who know nothing about it) ordering bourbon will always be funny to me.
December 13, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Straight white men (who know nothing about it) ordering bourbon will always be funny to me.
Crumbling some of the brown sugar shortbread cookies I made into my vanilla Häagen-Dazs was the move
December 12, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Crumbling some of the brown sugar shortbread cookies I made into my vanilla Häagen-Dazs was the move
Yes. My mom died Thanksgiving day.
Yes, I’m still the caretaker for her blind and dementia addled sister and let me tell y’all something. If you’re ever charged with taking care of an elderly relative…run.
Yes, I’m still the caretaker for her blind and dementia addled sister and let me tell y’all something. If you’re ever charged with taking care of an elderly relative…run.
December 9, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Yes. My mom died Thanksgiving day.
Yes, I’m still the caretaker for her blind and dementia addled sister and let me tell y’all something. If you’re ever charged with taking care of an elderly relative…run.
Yes, I’m still the caretaker for her blind and dementia addled sister and let me tell y’all something. If you’re ever charged with taking care of an elderly relative…run.
I should have never learned that soup is just cook some shit in a pot and then take the stick blender to it.
This has changed my life, but also means it’s all I’m ever going to have for lunch.
This has changed my life, but also means it’s all I’m ever going to have for lunch.
December 8, 2025 at 12:06 AM
I should have never learned that soup is just cook some shit in a pot and then take the stick blender to it.
This has changed my life, but also means it’s all I’m ever going to have for lunch.
This has changed my life, but also means it’s all I’m ever going to have for lunch.
Today’s “How I Deal with Grief” is “stay busy”.
Having just finished making brown sugar shortbread, I’m now debating if I want to put up a Christmas tree.
Having just finished making brown sugar shortbread, I’m now debating if I want to put up a Christmas tree.
December 5, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Today’s “How I Deal with Grief” is “stay busy”.
Having just finished making brown sugar shortbread, I’m now debating if I want to put up a Christmas tree.
Having just finished making brown sugar shortbread, I’m now debating if I want to put up a Christmas tree.
I always knew that when my mom passed I’d lean on a couple David Gray albums. And yes, “our arms are filled with sunken treasure hey/our heads our filled with perfect sound/but do we truly see it/ ‘til we’re placin’ it in the ground” broke me today.
December 4, 2025 at 5:28 AM
I always knew that when my mom passed I’d lean on a couple David Gray albums. And yes, “our arms are filled with sunken treasure hey/our heads our filled with perfect sound/but do we truly see it/ ‘til we’re placin’ it in the ground” broke me today.
I didn’t buy the hoodie, but I’m now going to Chicago for a long weekend in February.
December 2, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I didn’t buy the hoodie, but I’m now going to Chicago for a long weekend in February.
Do I have a “treat myself cuz my mom died” moment and buy a cashmere hoodie?
December 1, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Do I have a “treat myself cuz my mom died” moment and buy a cashmere hoodie?
Literally throwing everything I can at myself to try and sleep. And yet…it’s 2:43 and I’m all “hieee!!!!”
November 29, 2025 at 7:43 AM
Literally throwing everything I can at myself to try and sleep. And yet…it’s 2:43 and I’m all “hieee!!!!”
Y’all. My mom passed away today.
All very sudden.
Like phone call out of the blue sudden.
I’m just…I don’t even know.
All very sudden.
Like phone call out of the blue sudden.
I’m just…I don’t even know.
November 28, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Y’all. My mom passed away today.
All very sudden.
Like phone call out of the blue sudden.
I’m just…I don’t even know.
All very sudden.
Like phone call out of the blue sudden.
I’m just…I don’t even know.
Do I go to an Auto Show in:
A) Detroit
B) DC
C) Chicago
I’ve been to all of them at some point and they have their pros and cons.
A) Detroit
B) DC
C) Chicago
I’ve been to all of them at some point and they have their pros and cons.
November 21, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Do I go to an Auto Show in:
A) Detroit
B) DC
C) Chicago
I’ve been to all of them at some point and they have their pros and cons.
A) Detroit
B) DC
C) Chicago
I’ve been to all of them at some point and they have their pros and cons.
Those gays who have gay voice, but it’s DEEP… 😍😍😈😈
November 20, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Those gays who have gay voice, but it’s DEEP… 😍😍😈😈
Debating on if I use my small year end bonus to a) save b) take a trip c) use it towards hair transplant surgery or d) another cosmetic procedure to…ya know… fix my face.
November 17, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Debating on if I use my small year end bonus to a) save b) take a trip c) use it towards hair transplant surgery or d) another cosmetic procedure to…ya know… fix my face.
Vyvanse and steroid has had me all day like
a black and white photo of a rocket being launched
ALT: a black and white photo of a rocket being launched
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Vyvanse and steroid has had me all day like
I took myself to one of those old neighborhood establishments for lunch. I don’t go here often (like haven’t in years) and I’m very curious to see how this goes.
November 15, 2025 at 6:32 PM
I took myself to one of those old neighborhood establishments for lunch. I don’t go here often (like haven’t in years) and I’m very curious to see how this goes.
It really is just too perfect that Evangelicals have been freaking out about the war on Christmas™️ for years, but instead of being minimized, Christmas is actually expanding to 3 months long and reaching into every part of our lives.
November 15, 2025 at 3:22 PM
It really is just too perfect that Evangelicals have been freaking out about the war on Christmas™️ for years, but instead of being minimized, Christmas is actually expanding to 3 months long and reaching into every part of our lives.
Me: That gingerbread chai latte don’t sound bad.
Also me: I’m allergic to ginger and would meet my demise.
It’s fun to be allergic to so many foods. Just constant delicious reminders of your mortality.
Also me: I’m allergic to ginger and would meet my demise.
It’s fun to be allergic to so many foods. Just constant delicious reminders of your mortality.
November 14, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Me: That gingerbread chai latte don’t sound bad.
Also me: I’m allergic to ginger and would meet my demise.
It’s fun to be allergic to so many foods. Just constant delicious reminders of your mortality.
Also me: I’m allergic to ginger and would meet my demise.
It’s fun to be allergic to so many foods. Just constant delicious reminders of your mortality.
We all realize that none of this matters, right? There could be video of him mushroom dicking down his own teenage daughter and nothing changes. His people live in an alternate reality and Orange Jesus can do no wrong.
a woman in a red dress is dancing with the words `` nothing really matters '' written on the bottom .
ALT: a woman in a red dress is dancing with the words `` nothing really matters '' written on the bottom .
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 12:52 PM
We all realize that none of this matters, right? There could be video of him mushroom dicking down his own teenage daughter and nothing changes. His people live in an alternate reality and Orange Jesus can do no wrong.
The other day, I heard a guy on Food Network sing “Pink Peppercorn” to the tune of “Pink Pony Club” and that’s been the sole component of my interior monologue since.
November 13, 2025 at 11:05 PM
The other day, I heard a guy on Food Network sing “Pink Peppercorn” to the tune of “Pink Pony Club” and that’s been the sole component of my interior monologue since.
So now we know some of the kompromat that makes him Putin’s pet.
November 13, 2025 at 3:54 AM
So now we know some of the kompromat that makes him Putin’s pet.
Do y’all watch Holiday Baking Championship on Food Network? And if so, do you find this is fully not the time to have this dude who looks like he’s in the SS on?
November 12, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Do y’all watch Holiday Baking Championship on Food Network? And if so, do you find this is fully not the time to have this dude who looks like he’s in the SS on?
It’s 32 and windchill of 19.
The heat still isn’t on. I will hold out!
The heat still isn’t on. I will hold out!
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
It’s 32 and windchill of 19.
The heat still isn’t on. I will hold out!
The heat still isn’t on. I will hold out!
I’m in front of a courthouse with a bouquet.
I can explain.
I can explain.
November 7, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I’m in front of a courthouse with a bouquet.
I can explain.
I can explain.
My abusive relationship with flossing continues.
It tells me how gross I am. It requires effort only on my part.
But then it brings me such satisfaction.
It tells me how gross I am. It requires effort only on my part.
But then it brings me such satisfaction.
November 6, 2025 at 4:16 AM
My abusive relationship with flossing continues.
It tells me how gross I am. It requires effort only on my part.
But then it brings me such satisfaction.
It tells me how gross I am. It requires effort only on my part.
But then it brings me such satisfaction.