Gift guide writers… please don’t put fancy salt on your lists ever again… I’m begging you…….

I may be constantly lost and confused on the streets, not knowing north from south or left from right, but I am freaking Magellan when it comes to navigating my way through a sprawling shopping center.

The Clash of Civilizations should be thoroughly revised and updated to be about “hot” Asian celebrities.

I scorn but also fear people who board flights in full summer attire—sandals, tank tops, shorts etc. They are not afraid of anything.

Younger driver asked for my socials after a fun, spirited conversation but I leaned into being an auntie, asked him if he had a partner, then made him download coffee meets bagel in front of me before I got off at my destination.

Tossing and turning in bed, suffering the agonies when I remember that my Goodreads count is off because every year there are a couple of books that I am too embarrassed to add to my “Read” shelf.

energy from the morning burger nearly depleted, the Midwesterner's thoughts turn to the evening burger

The Moby Dick reading group should follow up with Ian McGuire’s The North Water in February. 🐋

A LOT of unmasked, WET coughing on this flight!!!

Was already familiar with “arvo”, “biccy”, “tradie” etc but TIL it’s possible to say “barmi” for bar mitzvah and “Chrissy” for Christmas in conversational Australian English. Don’t know why I was surprised, but I was!

The faint look of horror on each and every non-American pharmacist’s face when they caution me about the OTC ibuprofen I’m paying for and I tell them that Dr Advil has been my primary care physician for more than a decade.

Have not been interested in food since my dog died. Truly dishonoring her memory.

Don’t remember getting this figure 8 bruise on my calf at all, but doctor bff’s (unofficial) medical opinion is 鬼捏腳, which roughly translates to “a pinch on the leg by a ghost.”

“Have you slept in a new bedroom recently?” I love spooky season.

Imagine creating a new social media account every decade or so until you DIE!