psychic timetrav'l'r [Alawen]
@jynell.itch.io
ala.
This is the personal account of a woman who is wild.
Her art account is here. https://bsky.app/profile/kikiala.bsky.social
This is the personal account of a woman who is wild.
Her art account is here. https://bsky.app/profile/kikiala.bsky.social
Pinned
I know it must be clear that I have no filter going out. I am telling you that I also have no filter coming in. Everything takes deep, improbable root immediately like it's the vital key to an escape room puzzle box I'm trapped in all my life
(Science Fiction) In order to continue my isolated training within this ancient system, I must maintain my doubt of everything. Attacks are constant, but they're paper-thin. Spectacle does not phase me. It's the projective accusations that destroy my will. By my recording this, they gain power. 1/eh
December 31, 2025 at 9:21 AM
(Science Fiction) In order to continue my isolated training within this ancient system, I must maintain my doubt of everything. Attacks are constant, but they're paper-thin. Spectacle does not phase me. It's the projective accusations that destroy my will. By my recording this, they gain power. 1/eh
Weird life so weird
December 31, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Weird life so weird
I really cannot endure violence when I respond to it, the violence is everywhere in my home here and non-stop so I just have to not think about it, everything can become scary and threatening, of course also everything I say or do is turned against me, and I can't speak to anyone outside seemingly.
December 31, 2025 at 7:51 AM
I really cannot endure violence when I respond to it, the violence is everywhere in my home here and non-stop so I just have to not think about it, everything can become scary and threatening, of course also everything I say or do is turned against me, and I can't speak to anyone outside seemingly.
The more I get worn down by it, my only response is to care less. It's really not my thing, it just sucks that I can start to say "thanks for getting some groceries" while making myself some coffee and it turns into a huge fight about how I'm delusional, i.e. kitchen sinking at me non-stop. I'm worn
December 31, 2025 at 5:27 AM
The more I get worn down by it, my only response is to care less. It's really not my thing, it just sucks that I can start to say "thanks for getting some groceries" while making myself some coffee and it turns into a huge fight about how I'm delusional, i.e. kitchen sinking at me non-stop. I'm worn
Nice few days, got a lot of coding and recording done! The in-home violence escalates - I somewhat expected it, and fended off the assault, but it's so weird. It tires me out, but I'm feeling quiet now. My heart has been over 100 for about half and hour. I'm ok. I just want honesty.
December 31, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Nice few days, got a lot of coding and recording done! The in-home violence escalates - I somewhat expected it, and fended off the assault, but it's so weird. It tires me out, but I'm feeling quiet now. My heart has been over 100 for about half and hour. I'm ok. I just want honesty.
DIY convection hotplate done by safe electric discharge from an unmodified breadboard when
December 30, 2025 at 9:12 PM
DIY convection hotplate done by safe electric discharge from an unmodified breadboard when
Anyway, I really have to stop posting and get recording, of course the product will be my code and not the recordings of the process, however I may try to create content out of that someday. The code itself will be my solution to a bone that has been thrown my way for the past two years or so. nomnm
December 30, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Anyway, I really have to stop posting and get recording, of course the product will be my code and not the recordings of the process, however I may try to create content out of that someday. The code itself will be my solution to a bone that has been thrown my way for the past two years or so. nomnm
While cleaning my ears I found that my right eardrum is not present, or my left one is much closer anyway, and that is odd - I will look into it. In the meantime I placed my chin and forehead against a fan and found the resonance shifted, so [world-breaking invention below]
December 30, 2025 at 6:43 PM
While cleaning my ears I found that my right eardrum is not present, or my left one is much closer anyway, and that is odd - I will look into it. In the meantime I placed my chin and forehead against a fan and found the resonance shifted, so [world-breaking invention below]
At this time I am unable to focus because I need to clean my earplugs so that my tinnitis goes down and that's just fine because I happen to be doing everything right, it's still early in the day and that small task will get me started on having a productive day recording and coding
December 30, 2025 at 6:17 PM
At this time I am unable to focus because I need to clean my earplugs so that my tinnitis goes down and that's just fine because I happen to be doing everything right, it's still early in the day and that small task will get me started on having a productive day recording and coding
At some point in my testing the waters for scrolling on here due to severe loneliness and boredom, someone said that we who were raised on the internet are less "digital natives" and more "digital savages" and honestly you can drop that terminology, yes I was raised by internet wolves, yes it sucked
December 30, 2025 at 6:11 PM
At some point in my testing the waters for scrolling on here due to severe loneliness and boredom, someone said that we who were raised on the internet are less "digital natives" and more "digital savages" and honestly you can drop that terminology, yes I was raised by internet wolves, yes it sucked
A few days I looked into Oneida Corporation and they do make silverware but they also have a legacy of doing genetic experiments and boy were we blessed with a full set of those silverware and it's just another paper crane in my wondering why both my parents' fathers remain unidentified
December 30, 2025 at 6:09 PM
A few days I looked into Oneida Corporation and they do make silverware but they also have a legacy of doing genetic experiments and boy were we blessed with a full set of those silverware and it's just another paper crane in my wondering why both my parents' fathers remain unidentified
A tortured, surviving autistic woman (me) who all her life has wanted only peace & creativity, being so gullible and vulnerable to her own quest for honesty and sincere human connection, gets beat up, drugged, and propped up, then blamed for her erratic behaviors as a survivor of perpetual violence.
December 30, 2025 at 5:56 PM
A tortured, surviving autistic woman (me) who all her life has wanted only peace & creativity, being so gullible and vulnerable to her own quest for honesty and sincere human connection, gets beat up, drugged, and propped up, then blamed for her erratic behaviors as a survivor of perpetual violence.
the humans with money and power say "sorry, I'm too busy to care about your existence, you gnat, and I will destroy you because you are inconvenient" and that is a real interesting thing for them to do to me, who is actually a person, who was having seizures & severe chronic pain, enduring violence,
December 30, 2025 at 4:50 PM
the humans with money and power say "sorry, I'm too busy to care about your existence, you gnat, and I will destroy you because you are inconvenient" and that is a real interesting thing for them to do to me, who is actually a person, who was having seizures & severe chronic pain, enduring violence,
I am working on a lot of stuff, new videos and new code, new art and it's thanks to my continued breath practice, of course nothing will come my way as a result of it, but it will all be stolen by selfish people, and they will gain from that, of course I have no choice, I am a conduit and a fount ok
December 30, 2025 at 4:45 PM
I am working on a lot of stuff, new videos and new code, new art and it's thanks to my continued breath practice, of course nothing will come my way as a result of it, but it will all be stolen by selfish people, and they will gain from that, of course I have no choice, I am a conduit and a fount ok
I have a scifi story about this country lately, based on what it feels like; it is a time travel story where this realm of hatred is in a small bubble of extranavigable time, and the world of humans or beings outside looks in trying to find anything worth saving; they judge, they dismiss; I beg them
December 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I have a scifi story about this country lately, based on what it feels like; it is a time travel story where this realm of hatred is in a small bubble of extranavigable time, and the world of humans or beings outside looks in trying to find anything worth saving; they judge, they dismiss; I beg them
I am interested in surviving this humanity I am surrounded by online and offline, because I have ideas in my head about making art, and I like what I do, and I think I have a nice way of being, it's just hard when I'm enduring constant situations, and of course I am still blamed for that, ahhhhhhhh
December 30, 2025 at 4:16 PM
I am interested in surviving this humanity I am surrounded by online and offline, because I have ideas in my head about making art, and I like what I do, and I think I have a nice way of being, it's just hard when I'm enduring constant situations, and of course I am still blamed for that, ahhhhhhhh
i think this is part of why it is hard for me to interact with and interface with humanity from my life perspective; I have not been treated kindly much, just by a few patient people, and of course so many still do the "table flip" thing of getting to know me, then scape-goating me
December 30, 2025 at 4:14 PM
i think this is part of why it is hard for me to interact with and interface with humanity from my life perspective; I have not been treated kindly much, just by a few patient people, and of course so many still do the "table flip" thing of getting to know me, then scape-goating me
when the people I try to network with to trust and gain some footing in this earth are also very violent people online in their posts and sub-posts I cannot really understand if there is ever going to be a way for me to survive this humanity, I wish to exist it's true, and yet it's never-ending hate
December 30, 2025 at 4:13 PM
when the people I try to network with to trust and gain some footing in this earth are also very violent people online in their posts and sub-posts I cannot really understand if there is ever going to be a way for me to survive this humanity, I wish to exist it's true, and yet it's never-ending hate
Is there another site where people gather and have not united to pin down a person who is in their art trying to survive and has seen too much bullshit and bad shit that oh no oh this doesn't reach anyone? oh okay I guess, I will, keep wondering if there is any way to survive,
December 30, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Is there another site where people gather and have not united to pin down a person who is in their art trying to survive and has seen too much bullshit and bad shit that oh no oh this doesn't reach anyone? oh okay I guess, I will, keep wondering if there is any way to survive,
beautifull drawn, the words are well chosen, and I love how it's formatted! Men with trauma need to be a bit protective during the process of learning vulnerability, and finding therapy on their own, because of the weaponization of unjust ideals that got us here, depending on your local culture, imo
December 30, 2025 at 4:05 PM
beautifull drawn, the words are well chosen, and I love how it's formatted! Men with trauma need to be a bit protective during the process of learning vulnerability, and finding therapy on their own, because of the weaponization of unjust ideals that got us here, depending on your local culture, imo
Reposted by psychic timetrav'l'r [Alawen]
I did some art with my left hand just to see what was possible. really hard to get the edges I wanted but it was fun.
December 30, 2025 at 6:24 AM
I did some art with my left hand just to see what was possible. really hard to get the edges I wanted but it was fun.
In the focus I have found amidst nonsense, there is a recurring point that is reached via my writing process, which is usually verbal prayers throughout the day. That point has kept appearing: "It's better that I don't give a shit and focus on my work." Amen
December 30, 2025 at 8:10 AM
In the focus I have found amidst nonsense, there is a recurring point that is reached via my writing process, which is usually verbal prayers throughout the day. That point has kept appearing: "It's better that I don't give a shit and focus on my work." Amen
(Personal ramblings...)
Many years of my life, up until around age 30, I thought that everything had to be a product. Even myself. It was like that, and due to growing up here.
Here, everything becomes "a product" and "productivity" is the highest goal. Of course, self-sacrifice is encouraged. 1/2
Many years of my life, up until around age 30, I thought that everything had to be a product. Even myself. It was like that, and due to growing up here.
Here, everything becomes "a product" and "productivity" is the highest goal. Of course, self-sacrifice is encouraged. 1/2
December 30, 2025 at 5:12 AM
(Personal ramblings...)
Many years of my life, up until around age 30, I thought that everything had to be a product. Even myself. It was like that, and due to growing up here.
Here, everything becomes "a product" and "productivity" is the highest goal. Of course, self-sacrifice is encouraged. 1/2
Many years of my life, up until around age 30, I thought that everything had to be a product. Even myself. It was like that, and due to growing up here.
Here, everything becomes "a product" and "productivity" is the highest goal. Of course, self-sacrifice is encouraged. 1/2
A poem atop a river in the woods. A clock floats. The poem reads: "Hot coals are difficult to hold. / Your hypnotic swerve radiates / an unfamiliar forge's warmth. / ~ / ~ / ~ / (END)
December 30, 2025 at 5:04 AM
A poem atop a river in the woods. A clock floats. The poem reads: "Hot coals are difficult to hold. / Your hypnotic swerve radiates / an unfamiliar forge's warmth. / ~ / ~ / ~ / (END)
Reposted by psychic timetrav'l'r [Alawen]
If this message reaches outside, can anyone offer me insight as to why I feel surrounded by lies and silence?
December 29, 2025 at 10:51 PM
If this message reaches outside, can anyone offer me insight as to why I feel surrounded by lies and silence?