Keltus Bastimus
@keltus-bastimus.bsky.social
Mild mannered gentleman motorcyclist. Happily retired fan of whisky, married to the fastest class 1 advanced at everything most gorgeous woman in the world.
My wee girl Emily (she's 30 now) has messaged me from Jamaica. Goat curry is her favourite food now. 🥰
January 3, 2026 at 12:39 AM
My wee girl Emily (she's 30 now) has messaged me from Jamaica. Goat curry is her favourite food now. 🥰
This was how I looked when I met my darling wife in 2008, on a tour I ran to Normandy. Me, a biker idiot, her, a Chief Inspector in the Met Police. Look at us now 🥰
January 2, 2026 at 12:45 AM
This was how I looked when I met my darling wife in 2008, on a tour I ran to Normandy. Me, a biker idiot, her, a Chief Inspector in the Met Police. Look at us now 🥰
Early morning walk with Pip, wearing my fantoosh new Rayban Wayfarer shades 😎
December 26, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Early morning walk with Pip, wearing my fantoosh new Rayban Wayfarer shades 😎
How's this for a cool present? Rayban Wayfarer reactolite shades with built in AI/camera/speakers. Translates while I'm talking to foreigners, can tell me about what I'm looking at, give me a route, take pics/video etc. It's like something out of Star Trek 😎
December 25, 2025 at 2:39 PM
How's this for a cool present? Rayban Wayfarer reactolite shades with built in AI/camera/speakers. Translates while I'm talking to foreigners, can tell me about what I'm looking at, give me a route, take pics/video etc. It's like something out of Star Trek 😎
Man, that's good stuff! Gammon cooked for a couple of hours in Irn Bru, then roasted with honey, mustard, cloves, spices & reduced cooking liquid glaze. & braised red cabbage with apple, cider, cinnamon, nutmeg, vinegar, brown sugar. Mmm, the house smells very Christmassy 😁
December 23, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Man, that's good stuff! Gammon cooked for a couple of hours in Irn Bru, then roasted with honey, mustard, cloves, spices & reduced cooking liquid glaze. & braised red cabbage with apple, cider, cinnamon, nutmeg, vinegar, brown sugar. Mmm, the house smells very Christmassy 😁
Knuckles, an old and much loved friend commented on an earlier FB post that I made about recovering from cancer and said I was (and I quote) "Too miserable to die" Triggered a memory. I dug out my ancient crash helmet from the garage 😁
December 20, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Knuckles, an old and much loved friend commented on an earlier FB post that I made about recovering from cancer and said I was (and I quote) "Too miserable to die" Triggered a memory. I dug out my ancient crash helmet from the garage 😁
Happy Nearly Died Day to me 😎 Wearing a fake bloodstained hoodie with "I'm Fine" on it, I collapsed. Sepsis, pneumonia, and malnutrition. It brings back painful memories. Not of the 8 weeks in hospital, but the fact that Doctors, consultants & cancer specialists might actually know better than me 😁
December 20, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Happy Nearly Died Day to me 😎 Wearing a fake bloodstained hoodie with "I'm Fine" on it, I collapsed. Sepsis, pneumonia, and malnutrition. It brings back painful memories. Not of the 8 weeks in hospital, but the fact that Doctors, consultants & cancer specialists might actually know better than me 😁
My darling wife's new bike day 🥰
December 13, 2025 at 12:12 PM
My darling wife's new bike day 🥰
The one downside to living in one of the sunniest places in the UK is that we haven't seen snow for about 15 years.
December 10, 2025 at 10:43 AM
The one downside to living in one of the sunniest places in the UK is that we haven't seen snow for about 15 years.
Couple of pics of my gorgeous old Alfa from 15 years ago, camping on the beach in France near a village called Stella 😊
December 9, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Couple of pics of my gorgeous old Alfa from 15 years ago, camping on the beach in France near a village called Stella 😊
Me. I'm a good Dad and husband*. I'm 60, comfortable in my own skin, and have a mental age of about 18.
*I can provide proof if required 😊
*I can provide proof if required 😊
December 7, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Me. I'm a good Dad and husband*. I'm 60, comfortable in my own skin, and have a mental age of about 18.
*I can provide proof if required 😊
*I can provide proof if required 😊
I'll be a bit sad when we've finished moving everything and have to sell No. 5. It's great having two houses next to each other. Especially when it's beer day 😁
December 6, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I'll be a bit sad when we've finished moving everything and have to sell No. 5. It's great having two houses next to each other. Especially when it's beer day 😁
It *is* a Christmas film 😊
December 1, 2025 at 9:58 AM
It *is* a Christmas film 😊
That's me signed up for next year, I'm fit enough to marshal again! First one BSB at Knockhill 😁
November 23, 2025 at 6:47 PM
That's me signed up for next year, I'm fit enough to marshal again! First one BSB at Knockhill 😁
Bonjour! Il fait un froid de canard !
November 18, 2025 at 8:27 AM
Bonjour! Il fait un froid de canard !
Scared to Dance? Moi? Arrived today, Dunfermline Athletic away strip, basically the cover of the Skids first album. Takes me right back to the 1970s and the Kinema Ballroom 😎
November 17, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Scared to Dance? Moi? Arrived today, Dunfermline Athletic away strip, basically the cover of the Skids first album. Takes me right back to the 1970s and the Kinema Ballroom 😎
Good morning! Yes, I know, Pip, it does look like someone's dropped a nuke on France but it's probably just the sun coming up.
November 17, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Good morning! Yes, I know, Pip, it does look like someone's dropped a nuke on France but it's probably just the sun coming up.
One of my favourite bands.
youtu.be/j6gI7CHYRrU?...
youtu.be/j6gI7CHYRrU?...
Half Man Half Biscuit-Restless Legs. Eraserhead parody
YouTube video by stetea
youtu.be
November 15, 2025 at 10:41 PM
One of my favourite bands.
youtu.be/j6gI7CHYRrU?...
youtu.be/j6gI7CHYRrU?...
This won't mean much to any non UK viewers, but it's an annual thing where famous rich people who could afford to finance a couple of orphanages/hospitals each go on tv & sob & beg the hoi polloi to give all their money to charity.
November 14, 2025 at 5:14 PM
This won't mean much to any non UK viewers, but it's an annual thing where famous rich people who could afford to finance a couple of orphanages/hospitals each go on tv & sob & beg the hoi polloi to give all their money to charity.
I'll say one thing for weapons grade mead. Don't drink it if you plan on doing anything the next day other than going out in a howling gale/pouring rain with a dog 😁
November 10, 2025 at 4:27 PM
I'll say one thing for weapons grade mead. Don't drink it if you plan on doing anything the next day other than going out in a howling gale/pouring rain with a dog 😁
Without googling, post a Shakespeare quote.
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
November 10, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Without googling, post a Shakespeare quote.
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
"Lay on, MacDuff!"
Compare and contrast. This morning and three years ago.
November 10, 2025 at 11:54 AM
Compare and contrast. This morning and three years ago.
France 1917, Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. Grandad bottom left with bayonet after a night raid. Some are wearing & carrying German kit. Auld Harry told me that WWI was the best time of his life, food, wine, women, laughs, only some fighting to do to liven things up.
November 10, 2025 at 6:57 AM
France 1917, Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. Grandad bottom left with bayonet after a night raid. Some are wearing & carrying German kit. Auld Harry told me that WWI was the best time of his life, food, wine, women, laughs, only some fighting to do to liven things up.
A gentle reminder that God gives AIDS to an African baby and kills a kitten every time someone puts up a Christmas tree in November.
November 2, 2025 at 9:51 PM
A gentle reminder that God gives AIDS to an African baby and kills a kitten every time someone puts up a Christmas tree in November.