I used to manage the Leeds United Learning Zone which was a classroom in Elland Road. One day Paul Reaney came in with a club official, I don’t know why. Paul was interested in the Wii Fit Tennis game we had set up for the students, and wanted to play on it. The club guy, who had one at home, said

Mick has rolled in a dead seal. I tried to wash him in the sea, but the ooze has made him water resistant. Now the van smells of blubber, and Trump has been elected.
I’m here for the positives.