TRUTH NUKE (once I’m out of work)

Just realizing I will always need more highly regulated (and more importantly expensive medication) medication and I,,, man I just don’t wanna feel like my country doesn’t like me or my friends

Stupid Pepe fell over picture all of the fucking time. And maybe I’ll take what I said about myself back later, learning to love yourself instead of judging yourself for what you’re not, takesssss a really long time it seems :/

Like im being held together by hot glue and ductape instead of the cement I was scheduled for. And I have to have drugs that may or may not be legal after being legal for awhile. Weed. I’m just like, I’m trying by best man but I feel like that

I don’t really remember what I started this thread for. I guess I feel invalidated for existing and I guess I’m just listing out a possible reason as to why. I’m oversharing I know. It’s something I do. I’m really trying to hard to make things work and feel put together, because it kind of feels

They loved invading my space. I picked up on doing that for awhile, doing it to my sibling. I grew out of it, after realizing my feelings about it. But my dad and step mom. They never quite did? My dad made me weirdly uncomfortable and never treated him and me in the same room again. Alone.

Read. Draw. Be at peace.

I literally felt like my room was my space. My only space. But it’s really true. It were all the secret wishes, promises, mental speeches of passion. I didn’t really like anyone in my room that i confidently picked who could enter and who couldn’t.

There was a lot of things I wasn’t comfortable doing under literal direct supervision. So I stayed in my room a lot. It was okay. Until one time they took off my door. The one time I was banned from my room. I couldn’t be in my room for any amount of time out of 10 minutes. All I wanted to do was

But the second I actually used it, she got all upset that I was smoking weed in my bedroom and was using it to cover up the weed smell in my room. (I didn’t know that was a thing, it was.) but there’s literally no evidence I was ever bringing something that obvious back home to use

For her own kids. Like deadass, she kind of admitted that to me in two specific ways. The first was the weed incident. I had gotten an incense burner as a gift from an ex I had. And I love incense burners from when I still lived with my mom .

7 ? The first time I met her. I just. I never ever ever had a good feeling of her. She always gave me an uncomfortable/dreadful feeling. I felt like she was too mean in my first years. Definitely from the get go try to control how we were raised. And I know she had bias

Let alone a child being judged, for eating, clothes, body, cleanliness, the whole shabang. Esp kids who aren’t even tweens mind you. We got this treatment as early as possible. My SM has been in most if not all of my background memory of my dad. I feel like I was like what ?

I’m ngl i sometimes thinks my step mom did that sort of thing because she was and still is a RN and only “retired” to raise her kids. I feel bad for that. But I can’t believe someone wouldn’t know to some degree what that would do to a person

Where I could feel capable of handling things all by myself. But something happened to me that made me feel like I had to rely on others for the sake of doing it than wanting to for a really long time. And this wasn’t behavior wasn’t a side affect

It’s just my yuck to someone else’s yum and it’s really just a personal thing but it’s just a little sad? No fat person is making mods like that that I’m aware of and kinda just makes another feature of myself feel sexualized when I don’t want it to be

It’s a very underbaked game and you can feel the developmental hell that game without even playing it lol. That doesn’t mean I don’t like it. There’s a lot to like in KH3 but you gotta be okay with acknowledging other things of it be kinda terrible