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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim
@kimmymonte.bsky.social
15K followers 310 following 3K posts
my stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5rnmu5xtzqwc2c4u22abl2ka/feed/aaabw5bxhz3yw
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · Jan 2
lead singer: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK????

me in the pit trying to clean the front of my glasses w my tshirt: JUST A SEC, BUD
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 7h
reporting from bikini bottom fashion week
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 1d
only read this if you are wells fargo:

please fuck off into the sun
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 2d
if you’re charging $40 for your haunted house i better be able to fuck a ghost or at the very least make pottery with one.
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
reminds me of thanksgiving
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
same, reebs
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
she’s not
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
oh ok thank you
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
the fuck did i just learn how to do?!
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
they should have a lense that can show you car accidents in the area. call it a collidascope.

thank you.
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 3d
lawyer at my murder trial: your honor, my client texted him and he called her instead of texting back

judge: fuck that he deserved to die you’re free to go ma’am
3 3 41
kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 5d
Godzillow is just a large monster that will help you buy a house
2 4 35
kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 5d
it’s blue and signed by all members of the beatles and elvis and taylor swift
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 6d
my emotional support billionaire is dropping her new album tomorrow don’t talk to me until monday
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 6d
fuck yeah thank you
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 6d
i just gave a statement at the police station using air quotes
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 6d
i know
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 6d
someone just robbed me with finger guns and stole my air guitar.
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 7d
every pumpkin you see is just a watermelon wearing corduroys. stay alert.
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 10d
my son dropped his album on spotify and apple music and it’s fucken rad so like idk go listen, you cowards!
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 13d
they just using madlibs now to help us medically and boy are us libs mad lmao folksssss
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 13d
ugh i just did this im still vomiting. good luck!!
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 14d
i took a tylenol pm
and now i’m only autistic at night.
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 14d
this tracks
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 14d
tylenol PM causes autistic vampires
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kimmymonte.bsky.social
kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 14d
*my drunk uncle
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