Oof, yeah, having to be constantly vigilant like that takes a big toll. That drop in frequency is so big, though! It sounds like you’re doing a lot of awesome work. If you like podcasts, I recommend Drinking from the Toilet Bowl. It has advice, but also just stories that make me feel less alone.

I’m sorry, that is so rough! My dog loved peeing on human beds for a few months early on, and it was exhausting for even that short period of time.

For my dog, the biggest game changer was switching to a fear free vet who prescribed meds that helped a lot! Gave us enough wiggle room for all the other stuff (like exercise, enrichment, cooperative care, and positive reinforcement training) to start working.

More horror/fantasy than romance, but The Spirit Bares its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White has t4t romance rep (also YA)

There are not enough trans people in existence to fill out trans leagues in every sport in every community. somewhere along the line you have to include us with everyone else, it's a simple math problem.