it's literally so beyond belief how many people live by bioessentialism and can't even question it. it's like hearing a grown adult thinks the moon is made of cheese. like what do you mean you think humans have hormonal / chromosonal predispositions to things like Playing With Toy Choo Choo Trains

no shade to the people who like it cooked like this. it's simply that we are from two different worlds.

i have grown and changed because now i'm just like, what even sounds remotely odd about this. if anything this sounds like one of the most innately instinctual turn ons you can have. "how do people jack off to that" words of a rookie. you can jack off to anything.

this was a funny thing to realize i'm into, bc it started with hearing about it like a year back and going "haha that's kinda odd. what does this even entail?? let's go read people's thought processes on this. bc it's medic coded af and i want to make fun of him harder– Oh...uh oh... i."

finding spaces to share sexuality has really reoriented me to understanding that 1. it can be a very casual, fun, low stakes thing, and 2. I Am Legitimately An Adult I Am Almost 30 And My Life Is Mine I Need To Stop Betraying That

& fuck, kink has meant rapidly developing better communication, bodily awareness, & interpersonal skills. consent is a continuous practice of self-advocation & balance with others. literally those skills are not just for getting your rocks off. but getting your rocks off is a valuable experience fyi

abandoning shame, i only find more safety & clarity in being able to experience & think about violence in controlled contexts... to consent to if, how, & when violence happens. to play w my autonomy or lack of. if it will feel good or bad to me or a character. it's all safe & i chose it. that's new.

i still fight with the fear that enjoying suffering & violence as sexual play makes me look violent & dangerous. or that it's a sign i'm somehow abusive inside. or self-sabotagingly ill. but the guilt never changed me and the indulgence never made me worse