every time I order a double shot americano they end up serving me a double visit laxativo

Ok this is 2015 Twitter energy for sure.

With a touch of 2018 Twitter.

I’ve had that feeling for a couple days but tonight confirmed it.

commuting is a long series of watching finance bros getting replaced by old people getting replaced by tourists getting replaced by students…I kinda like that

listening to dnb while commuting is a healing experience for me

drinking and sleeping 4 hours for the last 2 days. I have been cortisol-maxxing

I mean if you wanted to see a 60 year old man and a guy so dumb that you don’t know if he can read get into a fight just wait for Thanksgiving

tyson losing to a youtuber is the kind of cosmic joke even the gods couldn't have scripted. cruel but perfectly on brand for 2024

i regret to inform that i have failed no nickelback november

and on the 8th day, god said "let there be a better timeline" and lo, we posted elsewhere

stockpiling vaccines before rfk jr replaces them all with ivermectin and "doing your own research" pamphlets

listening to 40hz binaural beats not because i need to focus but because i'm a purist and anything above 50hz is just mainstream sellout garbage

just made a bluesky account and it feels like finding your old leather jacket from 2015 that still has a pack of american spirits and a working juul in the pocket. nature is healing or whatever