Fuck DPD
what kind of shit ass fucking app did you people build??? Like are you for fucking real my postcode isn’t valid??? YOURE LITERALLY BRINGING SHIT TO MY HOUSE

I’m visiting my family and they’ve fed me a lot of fruit and veg and I’ve taken more shits in two days than I do in a week

glad I’m a fucking nerd and knew not to miss the northern lights last night 😎

best thing about working from home:
getting paid to apply to other jobs!

trying not to have a menty b at work today hbu

as someone born where two tectonic plates meet and now living in the dead ass middle of one: I MISS EARTHQUAKES. HOW DO YOU FEEL ALIVE IF THE GROUND YOU STAND ON THE MOST STABLE THING IN THE WORLD NEVER FUCKING RUMBLES LIKE ITS GONNA EAT YOU????!????? for real

I’m choosing to believe everyone who says HAPPY international women’s day is just a filthy commie, excited at the idea of a day of protest.

Happy international women’s day, everyone. Happy day indeed.

I don’t know how you people make queer friends and frankly im jealous

closely avoided being hatecrimed today! how wonderful!

wow Etsy just made me go through a fucking CHAT BOT to look up what I wanted, what the actual fuck?? who thought that was a good idea to implement, fucking ELONGATED MUSKRAT???

my covid-free life might finally be over, I’ve managed to evade it since 2019, wish me fucking luck

the birth year tattoo on the throat/neck/chest area is the barcode tattoo on the back of the neck of this generation

it’s a shame really I got my invite when I got it cos while space is limited here it doesn’t really feel appropriate to be an absolute fucking bummer

quiero decir CONCHETUMARE en caso de que nadie haya dicho conchetumare aquí todavía

moving house SUCKS I can’t wait to be DONE

I’ve been playing totk every day since it came out and only now heading for the final battle because I’m a fucking COWARD

been moving over the past week and today I’m at the old house - my neighbour BILL came up to the door, I hid cos I’m high and don’t like Bill, well I saw him grab my door mat and throw it over the fence to his side. Cheeky bastard said “I thought you’d left” when I asked what happened to my mat 💀

thank FUCK I’m finally out of twitter 😭