How my brain interprets a wine bottles label

Put a CRT out at my bar to eventually have n64/SNES/gamecube (work in progress) but in the meantime people have been watching DVDs on it… coworker overheard a gen z group say in awe “wow someone probably watched 9/11 on this”

Fiancé buying me a game about an autistic older woman is kind of a harsh read but not wrong

the bar patron urge to point out when the bar is slow

First day off during my Orlando gig so I think I’m gonna do something fun! Like eat an entire bag of pepperonis alone in my hotel room!

Why does pasta sauce have a fight song

Returning the ring because he didn’t know who Wendy Williams was

I love ominous and ambiguous Pinterest recipe comments

Blank Grindr profiles are about to flip Texas

Found out singer made limited edition guns for WWII and honestly its exactly the sewing essential my craft room needs like. I dare a stage hand to use my fabric scissors to cut gaff tape ever again

Me, internally “my skills are mediocre. I can barely do millinery. My gather stitch looks uneven. I am worthless and am not a costumer” My clients; “hey can you resew this button I’ll give you $50”

Genuinely going feral at the idea of my labors making fruits I didn’t know they could do that????

what if we kissed in the arizona green tea with ginseng and honey miata

Good afternoon everyone just yelled out loud “is it so wrong to want a tight hole” while fighting my machines buttonhole setting do you think they’ll hire me back next production