Kris Straub (كريس)
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krisstraub.com
Kris Straub (كريس)
@krisstraub.com
13K followers 400 following 2.3K posts
ＬＯＣＡＬ５８ＴＶ, Candle Cove, All Houses Matter. Cartoonist, presenter, humor scientist. K’thriss on #acqinc. He/him 🇪🇬
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krisstraub.com
at least i know i have a nice even skull
the author, with basically a crew cut
January 8, 2026 at 12:05 AM
krisstraub.com
this is not a bit.

i have no recollection of writing this. the doc was created and last modified, by me, on 12/26/2025. i am the only person with permissions on it.
a screenshot of google docs, mobile app Search in Docs Last opened by me Scary stories Jan 2, 2026 When they returned, God was there. He had been awake all night.
January 2, 2026 at 8:19 PM
krisstraub.com
fuck AI
December 29, 2025 at 1:46 AM
krisstraub.com
goodnight moon
the moon
December 29, 2025 at 1:22 AM
krisstraub.com
redacted
scene from the end of 2001: a space odyssey. the monolith stands at the foot of old dave bowman’s bed as he reaches toward it
December 21, 2025 at 4:04 PM
krisstraub.com
tinned fish gacha mechanics
closeup of the nutrition facts on the back of a can of smoked trout. INGREDIENTS: TROUT FILLETS, CANOLA OIL, SALT. CONTAINS TROUT. MAY CONTAIN MILK, EGG, SOY, WHEAT, HERRING, TUNA, MACKEREL, SALMON, LOBSTER.
December 12, 2025 at 8:21 PM
krisstraub.com
gloria in excelsis baio
former actor scott baio
December 7, 2025 at 5:17 AM
krisstraub.com
the most scathing book review i’ve ever seen. absolute brutality
photo of a public urinal in a SEATAC restroom. on the ledge, someone has abandoned a hardcover copy of “chasing the dime” by michael connelly
November 20, 2025 at 4:40 AM
krisstraub.com
“five for fighting” in the zohran mamdani campaign text treatment
November 8, 2025 at 11:14 PM
krisstraub.com
jack johnson still at it
October 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
krisstraub.com
they couldn’t do “trek or treat?” or does that binary imply that “trek” is not the treat, so they went with this instead
instagram ad screenshot: startrekfleetcommand TRICK OR TREK NEW HALLOWEEN EVENTS IN GAME
October 28, 2025 at 3:28 AM
krisstraub.com
no kings includes
screenshot of “royal kingdom” app, a match-3 game whose ads feature an obnoxiously imperiled king
October 22, 2025 at 8:59 PM
krisstraub.com
my #paxaus schedule (so far)! anyone need anything that’s not on friday
PAX Aus 2025 kris straub (panel).mp4 (binaural). Fri, Oct 10, 2025 • 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM Location: Quokka Theatre Penny Arcade Make-A-Strip Fri, Oct 10, 2025 • 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM Location: Main Theatre Acquisitions Incorporated: Pirate Borg Fri, Oct 10, 2025 • 8:30 PM - 10:30 PM Location: Main Theatre
October 2, 2025 at 9:05 PM
krisstraub.com
check out my enabler, oh brother
(a screenshot from the horoscope app CO-STAR) YOUR DAY AT A GLANCE You're as great as you think you are. Stop apologizing for taking up space. Your wins weren't accidents. Your talent isn't luck. The voice whispering "who do you think you are?" belongs to someone else's insecurity, not your reality.
September 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
krisstraub.com
there is a direct throughline from this to local58tv’s USDPAD. i adored the year zero ARG. huge influence
the seal for the fictional “united states department for the preservation of american dignity” from local58tv
September 19, 2025 at 7:56 PM
krisstraub.com
tomorrow: available at my booth at #paxwest, in print for the first time since 1971 #local58tv
vintage paperback book cover. “THE PARASITE TRANSCENDENT” by t. galbraith. from panoptica press.
August 30, 2025 at 5:06 AM
krisstraub.com
here's what i'm doing this weekend 📍 #paxwest !!
Kris Straub at PAX WEST 2025 I'M IN BANDLAND SUMMIT LEVEL 3 (near Arcade Freeplay) (product images, left to right: NEW PIN FORENSIC SEANCE, CRYPTID STICKER SHEET, LOCAL58 PATCH) Schedule: SATURDAY 12 PM Jackbox Party PAX 1 Blue Dragon Theatre (Summit Level 5) SUNDAY 10 PM KRIS STRAUB: A CELEBRATION OF PANEL ATTENDANCE FIREBIRD Theatre (Summit Level 5) MONDAY 2 PM Jackbox Party PAX 2 Blue Dragon Theatre (Summit Level 5)
August 25, 2025 at 10:31 PM
krisstraub.com
Weapons (2025)
tim and eric’s weird arms-down running style from “tim and eric’s billion dollar movie” (2012)
August 13, 2025 at 6:06 PM
krisstraub.com
Quote this with a book you read way too young that explains why you are the way you are.
cover of late 1960s paperback “21 Great Stories.” text follows: 21 GREAT STORIES THE PEARL BY JOHN STEINBECK WAR by Luigi Pirandello EVE IN DARKNESS by Kaatje Hurlbut THERE WILL COME SOFT RAINS by Ray Bradbury TOBERMORY by "Saki" THE TWO BOTTLES OF RELISH by Lord Dunsamy FOOTFALLS by Wilbur Daniel Steele HOOK by Walter Van Tilburg Clark WINE ON THE DESERT by Max Brand THE LADY OR THE TIGER by Frank Stockton AN OCCURRENCE AT OWL CREEK BRIDGE by Ambrose Bierce THE CASK OF AMONTILLADO by Edgar Allan Poe THE TELL-TALE HEART by Edgar Allan Poe SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS OF THINGS by C. D. B. Bryan THE NECKLACE by Guy de Maupassant TO BUILD A FIRE by Jack London LEININGEN VERSUS THE ANTS by Carl Stephenson VELINE by James Joyce THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY by James Thurber WHAT STUMPED THE BLUEJAYS by Mark Twain THE ADVENTURE OF THE SPECKLED BAND by Arthur Conan Doyle Edited by Abraham H. Lass and Norma L. Tasman
August 12, 2025 at 5:13 AM
krisstraub.com
i took this picture two thousand and nine (of us with the newspaper and the headline)
L to R: the three members of girlyman, and myself, at a show they did in dallas 2009
August 10, 2025 at 6:20 AM
krisstraub.com
very reassuring
4. At 3pm begin to drink solution (DO NOT START THE MEDICATION ANY EARLIER). One 8 oz. Glass every ten minutes until you drink half the gallon. You will get diarrhea. 5. At 7pm begin to drink solution again (DO NOT START THE MEDICATION ANY EARLIER). One 8 oz. Glass every ten minutes until you drink the remaining half the gallon. You will get diarrhea, possibly nausea and vomiting.
July 28, 2025 at 10:47 PM
krisstraub.com
mission aborted
screenshot of a bluesky account, the bio reads: Tom from Myspace (Parody) Follows you @myspacetom2003.bsky.social This is 100%a PARODY account. Education: University of California, Berkeley University of California, Los Angeles On a mission to follow ALL BlueSky members. Send me your starter pack links so I can follow all of you. I am the ultimate lurker. same account, about to be blocked: Block Account? Blocked accounts cannot reply in your threads, mention you, or otherwise interact with you. Block Cancel
July 27, 2025 at 8:38 PM
krisstraub.com
catrina
a screenshot from LOCAL58TV’s “show for children.” cadavre looks thoughtfully up above an open grave, at the apparition of catrina, a skeleton person like himself. she wears a long dress with short sleeves, and has a bone “bow” on her head.
July 6, 2025 at 5:57 PM
krisstraub.com
clown no like aerial yoga
ad for “universal horror unleashed” featuring a woman doing acrobatics and a huge pissed clown face
July 3, 2025 at 4:26 AM
krisstraub.com
i have never seen a more off-putting attempt to pique curiosity with a new verb than this. i made a choked sound
a screenshot of an ad on instagram featuring what is apparently called a “sankey diagram.” the large text reads You're Not Bad With Money. You Just Haven't Sankey'd🦋 Yet.
July 2, 2025 at 6:42 PM